Now that Tiger Woods has won for the first time in five years, his children have finally found a reason to be proud of their papa. Although I still think a barefoot unfaithful Tiger on Ambien dodging death from an angry wife with a golf club in the middle of the night is plenty more impressive. His kids claim that they now understand the “rush” and “buzz” of golf after their father’s win. Which is a lie because typically watching golf is about as exciting as watching competitive air hockey, or curling in the Olympics. This “rush” and “buzz” they feel comes from the first time in years seeing their dad make headlines for something that doesn’t involve the resulting mischief from mixing sleeping pills with a few brewskis.
Speaking to ESPN about his win, the 42-year-old athlete admitted it was the first time his children with ex-wife Elin Nordegren — son Charlie Axel, 9½, and daughter Sam Alexis, 11 — will really get to experience the overwhelmingly positive side of their dad’s sport.
“I think they understood, a little bit more at the Open Championship this year, when they saw me take the lead. They felt that rush and that buzz in the gallery, and the people talking and the excitement,” Woods told ESPN’s Scott Van Pelt on Sunday following his big achievement.
There’s a reason why the all of the greatest golf films are goofy, the sport is not naturally entertaining. But when you add a dark horse that doesn’t fit the standard profile of the average golfer, watch him win, then watch him throw it all down the drain after snorting lines of crushed Zoloft because the cost of divorce is depressing, you have a formula for entertainment. It’s a rush anticipating just how Tiger is going to fumble and fail this time after he starts winning again. At least now his kids are old enough to understand that when dad crashes his SUV into a tree this time, it’s because he was also feeling buzzed.
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