Amanda Bynes has had a rough life, but unlike other celebs quick to blame poor decision making / public meltdowns on medical conditions out of their control, Bynes will be the first to admit that the culprit for her downfall was something that rhymes with hugs. Pugs! JK drugs. How many drugs you ask? Enough to transform herself into a face swap between Miley Cyrus and Lisa Marie Presley. It’s uncanny. So ya that many drugs.
The now thirty-two-year-old Bynes appears on the cover of Paper Magazine‘s Lightly Dent The Internet issue not dousing her fake ass in champagne or giving herself head like her predecessors. Instead she’s wearing a conservative outfit. And someone else’s face. This honestly might just be Miley Cyrus after getting stung by a bee. Anyway, the tidbits about Bynes’ troubled youth speak for themselves, so here we go. After stating that she started smoking pot when she was sixteen, Bynes expands on her evolution into drug use:
Later on it progressed to doing molly and ecstasy. [I tried] cocaine three times but I never got high from cocaine. I never liked it. It was never my drug of choice. [But] I definitely abused Adderall. [I remember] reading an article in a magazine that [called Adderall] ‘the new skinny pill’ and they were talking about how women were taking it to stay thin. I was like, ‘Well, I have to get my hands on that.’
She was so fucked up during the filming of her movie Hall Pass that she had to leave the project. Bynes later hated the way she looked in the movie Easy A so much that she vowed to quit acting:
I saw it and I was convinced that I should never be on camera again and I officially retired on Twitter, which was, you know, also stupid. If I was going to retire [the right way], I should’ve done it in a press statement — but I did it on Twitter. Real classy! But, you know, I was high and I was like, ‘You know what? I am so over this’ so I just did it. But it was really foolish and I see that now. I was young and stupid.
Wait. Is a celebrity fessing up to her mistakes? What the fuck is happening. She must not yet have stumbled upon Lenny Letter. Things only got worse from this point for Bynes. She says that her life consisted of hanging out at home, doing drugs, and tweeting:
I’m really ashamed and embarrassed with the things I said (via Twitter). I can’t turn back time but if I could, I would. And I’m so sorry to whoever I hurt and whoever I lied about because it truly eats away at me. It makes me feel so horrible and sick to my stomach and sad. Everything I worked my whole life to achieve, I kind of ruined it all through Twitter. It’s definitely not Twitter’s fault — it’s my own fault.
I still don’t get it. It feels like we have a celebrity admitting remorse for past mistakes? Which for the record I’m faster to blame on her shitty parents that even Bynes. This all seems too good to be true. The rest of the interview is spent discussing Bynes’ recovery, and I can say for the first time in a long time that this is a celebrity who actually deserves good things. Goddamn that hurt to write.