R.I.P. Stan Lee

November 13, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf | 0 Comments

Stan Lee Is Dead at 95. The only good thing that comes from Stan Lee’s passing is that a gender fluid version of Spiderman never existed in any spider-verse while he was alive. There’s been affirmative action Spiderman, Spider-ham, and CBGB NYC Spiderman in full Canadian tuxedo with absent sleeves. But just like everything else, when the mastermind behind the wheel lets Jesus take over, his creations are pretty much guaranteed to turn to shit. Apple hasn’t had anything worthwhile since Steve Jobs checked out. Hugh Hefner dies and they couldn’t wait until his body was cold before sticking some centerfold with a dick on the front cover. Calling the move “brave” and “sexy” when in reality most naughty magazine reading men were baffled as to why the woman had a bigger bulge than him.

R.I.P. Marvel is pretty fitting here too. I’m pretty sure there are already superheroes that belong to the homosexual alphabet community on the outskirts of the Marvel universe, but now that Stan is gone I expect mainstream Marvel to look like Deviant Art fandom in a few years. Watch the writers turn all of that animosity Wolverine has for Cyclops into a secret gay crush. Burying Stan means burying a legend and the last regulator. Gone are the days of conventional superheroes saving helpless women. Women are strong. Women are furry. Women can save themselves.

[Pick Your Favorite Marvel Superheroine Below!]

Photo Credit: Getty Images 

Tags: brie larson emma stone evangeline lilly january jones jessica alba marvel mcu scarlett johansson sophie turner spiderman stan lee x-men zoe saldana

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