There’s almost enough names to fill a bible with the women Drake’s been rejected by. Add Heidi Klum to that holy list. She probably knows Drake is still in character as a Degrassi actor playing one of the toughest rappers around. Looks like she dodged a bullet. And it’s probably not the first one she’s dodged since she currently looks like Red Skull in whiteface and a wig. I never thought she could have her hands in something more diabolical than personally handing Thanos an Infinity Stone, but she’s about to hold a 29-year-old hostage in a legally binding union until death or divorce do them part. Plot twist, maybe Drake dodged the bullet here.
After the then-single supermodel selected Drake in a game of “Who’d You Rather?” during an episode of “Ellen” back in February, it was revealed in September that the Canadian rapper had reached out. Though Klum, 45, didn’t reply at the time, given she had met her now-fiancé, Tom Kaulitz, she is now willing to right a wrong.
DeGeneres responded, “That’s all he responded? Oh, he’s mad.”
While appearing on “Ellen” last fall, Klum said Drake was “basically a week too late” in terms of getting his shot with the former “Project Runway” host.
“I never texted him back because I found the love of my life,” she said of Kaulitz.
Maybe her lover Tom Kaulitz is a hipster. And marrying vintage vagina is ironic. Polaroid film photos of the flap where Seal signed his name is something of a privilege. Even if you’re the third man on record watering her flower in a wedding dress. The third wienerschnitzel is always a charm. I’m not sure what hurts more. Being “ghosted” by the only woman named Heidi that doesn’t own a drindl. Or losing out on an opportunity at Klum’s clam to someone in a German band that isn’t Scorpions.
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