Headline of the Week

The media is idiotic. At least once a day I read some sensationalized story that doesn’t matter and I think to myself “I know what you’re doing here”.

In this case, RADARONLINE the longstanding celebrity gossip site, go their hands on Jessica Simpson’s tell all that is only impressive because we all just assumed that Jessica Simpson was incapable of thought, but we were wrong and now she’s got Memoirs on her first 40 years being Jessica Simpson.

There have been a few media friendly stories about being molested by family friend (female) when she was a kid, to wanting to bang Johnny Knoxville when they did Dukes of Hazard together, but couldn’t because they were both married but instead felt like prison pen pals…that’s what I read anyway.

Well today we learn that she revisited her husband’s penis after they split, which is what 98 (degrees) percent of people do when they break up. I’ve always avoided the “revisit” with little to no effort thanks to the restraining order. I’m a passionate guy people. It is just that I love TOO much. However, everyone else I know has done the we’re broken up but let’s get down like old times.

Meaning this HEADLINE is hardly a story, but any excuse to think of Jessica Simpson pre-mom, pre-needing weight watchers at her hottest boning.

I just want the damn video, photos, maybe a sketch of how it went down, until then…this is the dumbest headline of the week.