Know Your Ashleys

Deadline and others are reporting that Ashley Greene has been cast in the upcoming flick “The Retirement Plan” alongside Nicolas Cage, Ron Perlman, Ron Fox, and others. It’s a story of a young woman who gets caught up in criminal activity blah blah blah – you had us at “Ashley Greene”.

This petite, no-longer-young effy was one of the best parts of the whiny “Twilight” series, and made her name painted nude in ads and my dreams. She also had a small role in “Bombshell” but few noticed – a movie about Big Media corruption and sexism is as ground-breaking as one exposing corruption in college sports.

Don’t forget – we’re talking about Ashley GREENE not Ashley GRAHAM, who is also cute in an IMAX sorta way. If you wanna fap to something lithe and elfin, go with Greene, but if your preference is something Costco size with heart-disease in the future, Graham is worth a tug.