Charlotte McKinney Swimsuit Tits Seem So Simple

After a series of tormented lectures from editors and models alikeat Sports Illustrated on body acceptance, Charlotte McKinney is a breath of fresh air.She has enormous tits, she's hoisting a thong and she's not saying a word. The Nobel Committee has prizes in all the... read more

Mariah Carey Confirms Her Beard

Rumors of Mariah Carey's relationship with her dance team member Bryan Tanaka were heretofore only rumors. Or technically a paid publicity campaign according to her Schedule C business write-offs. Carey officially confirmed the blatantly staged romance for the first time... read more

Aaron Carter Jumped By His Opening Act

Aaron Carter was jumped by a member of the band opening for him at a dive bar in Bradley, Illinois. If you were opening for Aaron Carter, you'd want to kill somebody too. It reflects poorly on your chances for that big label deal. read more

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Robin Thicke and Paula Patton Working Overtime to Fuck Up Their Kid

It's not been novel since Kramer vs. Kramer that dads might want to parent their kids even after divorce. Before 1980, the leased Porsche and Jordache jeans were the sole priorities. Even guys who never dug being dads have to put on the game face and fight for shared... read more

Fran Lebowitz Speaks Truth To Stupid

Fran Lebowitz is a cool writer but in certain situations merely being a homely woman gives her a license to state the obvious without being raked over the coals. She went around to a bunch of parties at Fashion Week and shit all over people who take themselves really... read more

Slutty Teacher Gets 90 Days (VIDEO)

Mary Beth Haglin is an Iowa high school teacher who fucked one of her seventeen year old students, in her own words, "Hundreds of times." That's more than a lot of husbands can say about their wives. Such as Tom Cruise because he's gay and probably Dr Phil because nobody... read more

Beyonce Musical Genius and the Bitchy Women at Fashion Week on the Last Men on Earth Podcast #77

On this week's Last Men on Earth Podcast, Matt and I and special guest Jake Dill from 98.7 L.A., radio, consider the economy crushing consequences of a Day Without Immigrants, ponder SI putting their chubby editor into a bikini to claim female empowerment, wonder why the... read more

Chrissy Teigen Gets Naked And Shit Around The Web

Chrissy Teigen is totally naked but for some strategically placed limbs. Gender equality dictates that Teigen doesn't have to take her clothes off to feel rewarded. It's less clear on how the pay works for clothed though. read more

Lena Dunham Bare Naked Beaver Yum Yum (Mr. Skin Minute VIDEO)

Because the Internet has everything, there exists a fan board somewhere for Lena Dunham fully exposed. No, not her uproarious but telling feminist social writings. Rather, her half sucked Tootsie Pop human form bereft of any clothing. read more

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Len Wiseman's New Chick Seems More Naked Than the Last One

There's no doubt that a decent segment of Trump hate is rooted in his trading up of wives for younger models during his middle yearsrun. Many of these same anger management cases tolerated the far more conservative Bushes because they had long standing marriages to sweet... read more

Bella Hadid Won Fashion Week

Breathless female bloggers love to employ the term "won" in headlines to describe some celebrity chick wearing a funky heart hat on Valentine's. She won Valentine's. It doesn't make sense, unless you've never played sports and your dad not so secretly always wished you... read more

Kim Kardashian Dissecting Kanye

You can't turn out a good man. A confused man, far easier. The Kardashians choose male partners of notoriety and means, not of masculine character. Inherently, any man who signs up to be run by a bubble-butted midget is a gender fail. read more