Amy Schumer Cam Raped

Amy Schumer missed the first day of I'm suddenly super fucking rich and famous orientation. The late bloomers never catch up. Watch the fat kids in ski school. Born attractive chicks embrace their bogus public persona from the time they're working over their sixth grade teacher for a passing grade. You and everybody else passed the background check. Give her an A just in case.read more

Kendall Jenner Meets the President

The White House Correspondents Dinner used to be a showcase for the sitting President to recite cracks about himself and the White House press corps then hand out a bunch of awards to dead people. The annual event served as a friendly reminder that the press who cover POTUS will do pretty much whatever he and his staff ask since they're looking for access or just sweet jobs in the White House.read more

Ariel Winter's Mom Not Down With Boob Reduction

Ariel Winter received official clearance to ditch her mom four years ago. She claimed Crystal Workman was emotionally and physically abusive. The kind of incentive a kid needs to book Juicy Juice at nine, but not a network TV gig when you're sporting 36D's at fourteen. Workman claims all the abuse came from her daughter who 'bullied' her into finding her gigs starting at age five.read more

Kate England in A Bikini

Can you be friends with a woman you've seen butt-fucked seventy-three times on camera? Gaping for a living seems less troubling than a woman who consumes self-help non-fiction. If adult film acting credentials were the sole factor by which you chose female friends friends, you'd notice your guy friends wanting to come over far more often. Many of them would bring beer and willingly offer to help you move furniture....read more

Tracy Anderson in A Bikini

Tracy Anderson is the go-to fitness guru for all the big names in Hollywood. According to her press releases she trains Gwyneth Paltrow, Jennifer Lopez, Nicole Richie, Lena Dunham and a shit load of westside moms who want to look like any of the first three. Time to edit your sizzle list. Anderson shapes the health and fitness of her clients through a strict regimen of hardcore dance workouts, healthy eating, and a...read more

Bella Hadid Breasts Responding Well to Lyme Disease

There's no more compelling competition than two sisters climbing over each other for sexual attention. It's not as if older sister becomes a lawyer so you become a doctor. That's a CW show. Not the a celebrity model family in Malibu.read more

Adam LaRoche Child Sex Sting and Female Ted Cruz Porn on The Last Men on Earth Podcast #43 (AUDIO)

On this week's podcast Matt and I wonder if there's any kind of porn that wouldn't get half a million views, consider if Blac Chyna is a bad or good whore, evaluate Leonardo DiCaprio's pussy chemtrail, and consider the curious case of former White Sox slugger Adam LaRoche busting up child sex rings in Vietnam. That really happened. We discuss.read more

Carmen Valentina Porn Star in the Park

Porn stars recently decided they were going to come out of society's shadows. Like heroic Mexican migrants yet to be fully hand stamped. I think that's the acceptable term now. We know the porn stars walk among us. They gotta eat. You know they need to wash their clothes. And home The AIDS tests aren't accurate to a commercially viable standard.read more

Will Ferrell Drops Reagan Flick And Shit Around The Web

Will Ferrell has backed out of a project in which he would have played Ronald Reagan in the depths of Alzheimer's Disease...for laughs. People in Hollywood still hate Reagan but for a moment forgot about all of the studio chiefs with early onset dementia.read more

Kourtney And Khloe Kardashian Ruin Gigi Hadid's 21st

There's some age at which going to a birthday party when you're fifteen years older than the birthday girl is deemed inappropriate. Like 8 and 23. You'll get looks when you're trying to fit into the little tea party chairs. The 30-something Kardashian sisters routinely show up to teen and young adult events because they have no friends their own age. Or friends. Anywhere the cameras go is an open invitation to film...read more

Ashley Greene Is Topless Without Attorneys (VIDEO)

I can't remember how many years ago it was that Ashley Green's nude pictures went flying around the net. That might be the time the FBI got involved. There weren't Islamic terrorists driving around the U.S. in minivans so much then. Agents were bored. Who wouldn't volunteer for the Ashley Greene stolen tit pics case. Not everybody's Elliott Ness.read more

Bruce Jenner Dons Wig To Pee In Trump Tower (VIDEO)

Bruce Jenner has shown he will go to great lengths to prove his point. Like how you can't be gay if you're sucking a dick while identifying as a woman. Also that he's a legit tranny activist and not just a rich poser playing dress up.read more

Kim Kardashian Has an Answer For Everything

You thought Kim Kardashian shared photos of her tits and tongue because she's an attention machine whose brand of feminism calls for commercializing her gross level fuckability. You're only mostly right. Kardashian posted a ton of black and white late night Cinemax selfies from her weekend in Miami, careful to explain the real reason behind the sharing:read more

Kim Jong-un Brings Back the Ladies

Paranoia can be defined as a man so concerned with personal security that he disbands the team of attractive young escorts who suck and fuck him on command. When King Jong-un took over from pops, he eliminated the "Pleasure Squad" of largely underaged girls who served as a harem for the Great Leader. "Pleasure Squad" seems less obvious when drawn in Korean characters where it's a house with a dude with a limp dick and...read more