Columbia Has a Mattress Girl Problem

That chick at Columbia University who toted a mattress around on her shoulders because the school refused to expel her ex-boyfriend she claimed raped her on that mattress continues to haunt the college. What was once the Northeastern liberal arts cause célèbre may become a payout to Paul Nungesser for the school wholly backing Mattress Girl, Emma Sulkowicz, both before and after Nungesser was completely exonerated.read more

VP Mary Carey And Shit Around The Web

Former porn star Mary Carey would like to be Donald Trump's running mate. Nobody knows the struggles of the middle class like a woman whose done ass to mouth on camera for five hundred a pop. Like the modern Howard Cunningham.read more

Marcella Braga Made It Out

Olympics fever has turned out to be mostly Zika. The IOC is producing thousands of tiny sized baby knit caps as souvenirs for foreign visitors to Rio in August. Attractive Brazilian woman like this chick know exactly what to do during pandemics and inflation crisis, head for the fucking exits.read more

Cara Delevingne Seems Unstoppable

Cara Delevingne is one of those chicks racking up career accomplishments with the impossible to overestimate benefit of a massive social media following. If you're producing a historical costume drama, you could do worse than her thirty million Instagram followers pushed to buy tickets.read more

Nicki Minaj And Madonna Fashion Forward

The Met Gala is New York's version of the Oscars, only you don't have to have a job to attend, just a really expensive dress. Until fully audited, consider it a fundraiser for the Metropolitan Museum which needs to remain open so student filmmakers at NYU have somewhere to guerrilla shoot. More movies about what it's like to grow up with two literati parents who ignored you, please.read more

Radio Disney Assembles Their Pretty Babies

Disney TV and radio events resemble the trotting out of child sex slave workers freed from dingy sub-basements after Adam LaRoche has raided the joint. We've won the battle but we're losing the war. Fogle has a Foundation. LaRoche just has Wonderboy and Jesus in his bluetooth.read more

Bieber Tranqs His Tiger

Tiger blood seemed cooler when it was a cheeky euphemism for The AIDS running through Charlie Sheen's veins. Less cool when loaded with sedatives to keep kitty comatose at a Toronto engagement party for Justin Bieber's righteous dad Jeremy. You'd think maybe Jeremy Bieber would've given up on romance after fucking a baby into a runaway teen and making a very small grown up. His prospects certainly got richer when his...read more

Carlos Martinez STD Sued

Cardinals starting pitcher Carlos Martinez had to leave St. Louis to defend himself in court for aggravated re-gifting of an STD to a chick in a Miami. If every man in this world was a pro athlete, we'd all be making pilgrimages to South Florida for similar cases. The upside of playing big league ball is you pull exceptionally good tail for a skinny dude from the Dominicanread more

Amy Schumer Cam Raped

Amy Schumer missed the first day of I'm suddenly super fucking rich and famous orientation. The late bloomers never catch up. Watch the fat kids in ski school. Born attractive chicks embrace their bogus public persona from the time they're working over their sixth grade teacher for a passing grade. You and everybody else passed the background check. Give her an A just in case.read more

Adriana Lima Is Muy Caliente And Shit Around The Web

Adriana Lima's job is to show up to events, strike a pose, and let guys imagine fucking her. The hours are rough, but the pay is good and virtual spooge doesn't leave any stains.read more

Kendall Jenner Meets the President

The White House Correspondents Dinner used to be a showcase for the sitting President to recite cracks about himself and the White House press corps then hand out a bunch of awards to dead people. The annual event served as a friendly reminder that the press who cover POTUS will do pretty much whatever he and his staff ask since they're looking for access or just sweet jobs in the White House.read more

Ariel Winter's Mom Not Down With Boob Reduction

Ariel Winter received official clearance to ditch her mom four years ago. She claimed Crystal Workman was emotionally and physically abusive. The kind of incentive a kid needs to book Juicy Juice at nine, but not a network TV gig when you're sporting 36D's at fourteen. Workman claims all the abuse came from her daughter who 'bullied' her into finding her gigs starting at age five.read more

Kate England in A Bikini

Can you be friends with a woman you've seen butt-fucked seventy-three times on camera? Gaping for a living seems less troubling than a woman who consumes self-help non-fiction. If adult film acting credentials were the sole factor by which you chose female friends friends, you'd notice your guy friends wanting to come over far more often. Many of them would bring beer and willingly offer to help you move furniture....read more

Tracy Anderson in A Bikini

Tracy Anderson is the go-to fitness guru for all the big names in Hollywood. According to her press releases she trains Gwyneth Paltrow, Jennifer Lopez, Nicole Richie, Lena Dunham and a shit load of westside moms who want to look like any of the first three. Time to edit your sizzle list. Anderson shapes the health and fitness of her clients through a strict regimen of hardcore dance workouts, healthy eating, and a...read more

Bella Hadid Breasts Responding Well to Lyme Disease

There's no more compelling competition than two sisters climbing over each other for sexual attention. It's not as if older sister becomes a lawyer so you become a doctor. That's a CW show. Not the a celebrity model family in Malibu.read more