Laura Perlongo Seems Pregnant

MTV hosts their meaningless award shows several times a year to garner publicity for their native reality show stars. The Jersey Shore, Teen Mom, Appalachian hillbillies, whoever is not quite dead yet from being exploited by their banal assembly line of latchkey teen... read more

Sometimes You Eat the Weiner, Sometimes the Weiner Eats You

Former Congressman Anthony Weiner can't stop discussing his dick online. Public humiliations, resignations, embarrassing mea culpas, counseling. It matters not. The dick wants what the dick wants. And the Weiner dick wants to be hard in jockey shorts making double... read more

White Women Make For Shitty Protestors

Go Topless Day really took off this year. Up to thirty-four women in metropolises around the country joined forces to write shit on their abdomens and march in pursuit of equality in public toplessness. read more

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SI Models Are Victoria's Secret Models With Clothes On

Try to imagine the last sports article you read on Sports Illustrated. Selling half naked chicks is much easier. Trust me. SI's now running the swimsuit models year round in events designed to remind you to keep them somewhere in their spank bank folder on bookmarks. read more

Beyonce Brings Out the Dead Black Teen Moms

Beyonce will do anything for a buck. Not to be confused with Colin Kapernick standing up for Black Lives Matter now that he's been demoted to third string in a fast fading career. Beyonce is still killing it with powerful thematic albums based on shit her husband makes up... read more

Mariah Carey's Sister Keeps on Hooking

Mariah Carey's sister Alison keeps hanging her HIV positive prostitution shingle online. She's not very good at spotting undercover vice. Or doesn't care anymore since prison has better meals. read more

Wingsuit Jumping Seems Vainglorious (VIDEO)

There's a fine line between courageous and self-absorbed. It mostly has to do with context. If you're charging enemy lines to save a fallen buddy in the face of automatic weapon fire, that's courageous. If you've committed your life to Facebook live streaming your base... read more

Francis Bean Cobain Loser Husband Emo Shit

Kurt Cobain shot himself in the head twenty years ago. There's some evidence to suggest his incredibly untalented wife may have played a hand in it. The content of her records just happen to mimic whatever rock star was sodomizing her at the time. read more

Colin Kaepernick Taking A Stand, Or Not

Colin Kaepernick is refusing to stand for the National Anthem during preseason games because he read the Cliff's Notes to to Malcolm X's autobiography. As evidence he is posting a bunch of memes with civil rights quotes to his Instagram page, which Malcolm X never would... read more

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Scheglova Stuck in Russia

This Russian lingerie etc. model will not make it out West until she figures out a better name. Do they still call it the Soviet Union? They do not. Then why are you still going by Anastasiya Scheglova. Think Ana Shields and you're one degree of separation from sitting on... read more

Lady Gaga Sheer Showoff And Shit Around The Web

Lady Gaga wears a sheer shirt and no bra. She needs attention. The kind only a man or potentially a broomstick with a fake mustache attached could provide. read more

Sarah Jessica Parker Says Neigh to EpiPen

Sarah Jessica Parker has cut ties with EpiPen even though they make the Epinephrine emergency injector she slams into her son's chest plate any time he even sees a TV ad for peanut butter. Also, they hired her to mention she loved it. read more