Michael Vick's Bro Has Herpes Too (VIDEO)

Michael Vick's brother Marcus is having a rough week. First he got into a Twittter war with the universe after claiming that LeSean McCoy of the Buffalo Bills gave his baby mama herpes.

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Lindsay Lohan Comes Clean

Lindsay Lohan apologized for her public histrionics accusing her Russian trust fund boyfriend of cheating on her which he most certainly was. Hopefully he used a condom because Lohan definitely has herpes. As it turns out she's a bipolar whore. No harm no foul. We all make mistakes.

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The Mr. Skin Podcast Will Tug Your Dick Just the Way You Like It

THE MR. SKIN PODCAST comes alive once a week, but because this is 2016, you can listen to it whenever the fuck you like. It's a few laughs, some hot girl news, and a whole mess of free easy listening. This Thursday at 10am, what are you doing that's so important? Precisely. Get into this shit.

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Kendall Jenner Breast Defense

Kendall Jenner took to her premium website that can be all yours for three bucks a month to defend her decision to not wear bras. On the scale of literary efforts, this lies somewhere south of Cormac McCarthy though more sapient than anything published on the Player's Tribune ever.

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GQ Has Changed

GQ magazine routinely pens fanboy articles on young male celebrity bodies and fashion that makes gay male erotica blush in its inherent moderation. GQ has evolved into the world's most prominent trap. The seductive photos of famous women featured on the cover guide you into a world of Oxford Library late night glory holes.

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Doutzen Kroes Paddleboards In A Bikini And Shit Around The Web

That's some ass. That's all I got. Paddle boarding seemed totally fucking stupid until right now.

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Amber Heard Leaking

Amber Heard and her team of Johnny Depp ambulance chasers have been openly sharing details of their divorce proceedings to TMZ. It's unclear how she looks in the mirror and it's a bonafide fact she doesn't give head. Her leveraging of her vagina is becoming so egregious that Depp's lawyers want to fine her $100,000 every time details of the case are leaked.

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Michael Jackson Outed Posthumously

The guy who administered Michael Jackson's fatal dose of pain killers is calling out Jackson as a pedophile. Conrad Murray did two years for executing Jackson by way of administering hardcore sleepy time opiates then leaving the room to go text his bitches. He's probably a really bad guy, or in the very least, a doctor who loves pussy more than his patients. Which is fine, until one dies. Murray is talking to the...

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Kourtney Kardashian Raking

Gwyneth Paltrow skirts the long arm of the law when she promotes shit like vacation spots and vagina rejuvenating cremes without disclosing the fact she's being compensated. The FTC is pretty clear on the matter. You have to declare if you're a paid sponsor or just a fangirl. By way of shortcut, every single famous chick who ever says she loves some product or service publicly is getting paid.

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Lindsay Lohan Balcony Drunken Serenade (VIDEO)

After Lindsay Lohan deleted all her hooker bitch Russian whore cheating motherfucker posts from social media, she tipped back a couple or three more gimlets and waited for her boyfriend to arrive back at the flat. The Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf second act moved out on the balcony of a high-end London apartment. A voice resembling a chain smoking AARP member on hour ten at the stud table at Binions, so clearly...

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The Real Victim of the DNC Email Leaks

The DNC email leaks confirmed what most already knew -- people who work in national politics are wonky sinister losers who take themselves far too seriously. Also, they watch shitty movies and find Rachel Maddow attractive. Following the standard that the only thing that'll create scandal in D.C. is a dead girl or a live boy, the latter now off the LGBTQ table, this shit was vastly overrated.

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Tobias Strebel Died of a Broken Bieber

A year later and plastic surgery addict Tobias Strebel (a.k.a. Toby Sheldon) has been declared dead due to drug overdose. A year is a long time to wait on the cause of death for a 30-something guy found alone and unresponsive in a motel room in the North Valley. The coroner concluded that the twisted man who spent his life savings on surgery to look like Justin Bieber died from a cocktail of Valium, Xanax and alcohol,...

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Ashley Graham Fat Farming and Gay Sulu On the Cutting Room Floor in the Last Men on Earth Podcast #53 (AUDIO)

There have to be more important issues of the day than the shit we discuss on our podcast. Look at all those sexless souls with buttons and vintage hats at the conventions. They're doing the yeoman's work of this nation. Cheering, drinking, and sharing money with the local sex worker industry.

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Selena Gomez Goes Deep (VIDEO)

Selena Gomez has something on her mind. It's been stewing while she put words to her thoughts. It's like watching Russians try to karaoke Blinded by the Light. Gomez welled up with tears in Jakarta as she spoke to kindness and the human condition on stage. Her fans screamed because hearing her speak so guilelessly enhanced the youthful quality so many love to tug to in the evenings after prayers. After the concert,...

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Bella Hadid Bikini Show And Shit Around The Web

Bella Hadid has overtaken her older sister Gigi Hadid in popularity. It's probably the fake lyme disease that propels her ambition. Symptoms of fake lyme disease included showing off your tits a ton and demanding privacy. In that order.

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