Five Bucks Gets You Into Mr. Skin!

Five freaking dollars. That won't even get you into most 11-inch Subway sandwiches, not if they're warm and moist like the young ladies Jared used to favor. read more

Time's List of 30 Most Influential Teens Didn't Take Much Effort

Watching the legacy magazine business die is merely a matter of watching every decades old publication turn to lowest common denominator celebrity culture listicles. Nobody dies like Chess King anymore, with a quiet leathery dignity. read more

Lady Gaga Ain't No Fucking Madonna

If you work in Accounting, nobody ever peppers you with how your work is reminiscent of Fred, our former Payables clerk. Musicians are forced to listen to reporters and critics compare them to artists that came before them. It's invariably something overly obvious. Then... read more

Captain Planet Is Coming Back Because You Know Why

In the early 1990's Ted Turner got behind a tirelessly didactic animated superhero series intend to encourage kids to become environmentalists. Also, not smoke or steal people's wallets. You know, like kids who don't sort their recycling are apt to do. read more

Jennifer Connelly's Merkin on the Mouths of the Mr. Skin Podcast

It’s another crazy week on the Mr. Skin Podcast! This time Skin and the gang are talking about a vengeful prank pulled on a legendary star, and the surprising source that confirmed the leak. Plus, a discussion of Jennifer Connelly’s best nudity after her mega merkin... read more

Josh Brown NFL's New Problem Child

The Giants Josh Brown just singlehandedly threw a bunch of kicker stereotypes out the window. Turns out they do still pee sitting down but apparently are not as docile as previously thought and beat their wives. read more

Hillary Clinton A Dick To Security

Hillary Clinton really wants to be the next President and so does a vast majority of the national news media. Perhaps that's why they've donated so heavily to her campaign and brushed most of her deplorable behavior and frightening facial expressions to the side. read more

Ashanti Bikinis In The Dominican Republic And Shit Around The Web

Ashanti bikinis in Puerto Plata in the Dominican Republic. The DR isn't necessarily your first thought for beach vacations, but then maybe you don't like fifty cent drinks and one dollar hookers. read more

Victoria Justice In a Push Up Bra, The Best of Rocky Horror

Fox remade The Rocky Horror Picture Show for broadcast television tonight largely because they have to make something and new ideas scare people in Hollywood. Also, Marketing makes most of the greenlight calls and trannies are big in the news. Though the fun kind of... read more

Zuckerberg Tolerates Thiel

If you remember watching The Social Network, Zuckerberg was the Harvard nerd who stole his friend's algorithm and the app idea of some WASPy twins on campus and promptly invented TheFacebook. Peter Thiel was the Aspy not yet Gawker outed gay but already successful right... read more

Victoria's Secret Now Dominating Needless Athletic Wear Market

Women spend a lot of money on workout gear. The multi-billion dollar industry was the inevitable outcome of women working out. read more

Derrick Rose Lives to Underperform Another Day

Derrick Rose was found non-liable for any and all rape claims made by the booty call chick he banged with two of his buddies one late night when In & Out had already closed and everybody was looking for something to do. read more