Amber Heard Leaking

Amber Heard and her team of Johnny Depp ambulance chasers have been openly sharing details of their divorce proceedings to TMZ. It's unclear how she looks in the mirror and it's a bonafide fact she doesn't give head. Her leveraging of her vagina is becoming so egregious that Depp's lawyers want to fine her $100,000 every time details of the case are leaked.

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Michael Jackson Outed Posthumously

The guy who administered Michael Jackson's fatal dose of pain killers is calling out Jackson as a pedophile. Conrad Murray did two years for executing Jackson by way of administering hardcore sleepy time opiates then leaving the room to go text his bitches. He's probably a really bad guy, or in the very least, a doctor who loves pussy more than his patients. Which is fine, until one dies. Murray is talking to the...

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Kourtney Kardashian Raking

Gwyneth Paltrow skirts the long arm of the law when she promotes shit like vacation spots and vagina rejuvenating cremes without disclosing the fact she's being compensated. The FTC is pretty clear on the matter. You have to declare if you're a paid sponsor or just a fangirl. By way of shortcut, every single famous chick who ever says she loves some product or service publicly is getting paid.

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Lindsay Lohan Balcony Drunken Serenade (VIDEO)

After Lindsay Lohan deleted all her hooker bitch Russian whore cheating motherfucker posts from social media, she tipped back a couple or three more gimlets and waited for her boyfriend to arrive back at the flat. The Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf second act moved out on the balcony of a high-end London apartment. A voice resembling a chain smoking AARP member on hour ten at the stud table at Binions, so clearly...

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The Real Victim of the DNC Email Leaks

The DNC email leaks confirmed what most already knew -- people who work in national politics are wonky sinister losers who take themselves far too seriously. Also, they watch shitty movies and find Rachel Maddow attractive. Following the standard that the only thing that'll create scandal in D.C. is a dead girl or a live boy, the latter now off the LGBTQ table, this shit was vastly overrated.

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Tobias Strebel Died of a Broken Bieber

A year later and plastic surgery addict Tobias Strebel (a.k.a. Toby Sheldon) has been declared dead due to drug overdose. A year is a long time to wait on the cause of death for a 30-something guy found alone and unresponsive in a motel room in the North Valley. The coroner concluded that the twisted man who spent his life savings on surgery to look like Justin Bieber died from a cocktail of Valium, Xanax and alcohol,...

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Ashley Graham Fat Farming and Gay Sulu On the Cutting Room Floor in the Last Men on Earth Podcast #53 (AUDIO)

There have to be more important issues of the day than the shit we discuss on our podcast. Look at all those sexless souls with buttons and vintage hats at the conventions. They're doing the yeoman's work of this nation. Cheering, drinking, and sharing money with the local sex worker industry.

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Selena Gomez Goes Deep (VIDEO)

Selena Gomez has something on her mind. It's been stewing while she put words to her thoughts. It's like watching Russians try to karaoke Blinded by the Light. Gomez welled up with tears in Jakarta as she spoke to kindness and the human condition on stage. Her fans screamed because hearing her speak so guilelessly enhanced the youthful quality so many love to tug to in the evenings after prayers. After the concert,...

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Bella Hadid Bikini Show And Shit Around The Web

Bella Hadid has overtaken her older sister Gigi Hadid in popularity. It's probably the fake lyme disease that propels her ambition. Symptoms of fake lyme disease included showing off your tits a ton and demanding privacy. In that order.

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Aldon Smith Lacks That Certain Je Ne Sais Quoi (VIDEO)

In the future that started ten years ago, people will be judged entirely by dumb shit they film themselves doing. Social media is one large stupidity test. Case in point, Aldon Smith. The talented NFL linebacker is set to come off a one year suspension for DUI, subsequent to arrests for holding a knife at a stabbing party, hit and run, and making casual bomb threats at LAX while wasted.

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Rio Seems Ready, Part Eleven

As the world turns its eyes to Rio for the grand unveiling of the Third World Olympics, there are continued signs that the lawless post-colonial slum town isn't quite prepared. Decapitated bodies and robberies are one thing. Crime stats are easily fudged. Zika babies linger, but you put a nice crocheted hat on their diminutive domes and nobody even screams in fear until kindergarten. Non-working toilets, that people...

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Lindsay Lohan Can't Have Nice Things

Lindsay Lohan seemed settled down with a young wealthy Russian man who believed in her creatively and as important, supported her financially. Somebody left the keys to the liquor cabinet out and everything went to hell.

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Britney Spears Ass View (VIDEO)

The only thing creepier than having a dude sneak up on a woman at a gym and film her ass crack is for that same woman to order her intern to do the same. The Jason Voorhees eye view is quite becoming a lady.

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Kim Kardashian Still Fucking With Taylor Swift (VIDEO)

Nobody fucks with Taylor Swift. Kim Kardashian fucks with everybody. This is the battle earth has been waiting for since Xenu launched his first volcano burial business.

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Amber Heard And Elon Musk Possibly Boning

Amber Heard is reportedly sucking Elon Musk's cock. Musk is a bonafide genius. Any media outlet with financial stake in Tesla will gladly tell you in 3,000 words. He's probably super smart. Yet marketing and super genius rarely go together. People steal the latter's ideas. Hence Tesla didn't have a Campbell's Soup campaign and probably died wearing those weird fingerless gloves.

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