Randy Quaid We Missed You So Much (VIDEO)

It should come as no surprise that Randy Quaid is an avid Bernie supporter nor that he is apparently unaware Bernie dropped out of the race. Complicating matters his wife Evi appears to be a Trump fanatic. Such details only back up the common assumption that these two have the weirdest sex in North America which can be verified with a few quick Youtube clicks:

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Khloe Kardashian Not High on Trump

In panoply of gruesome tasks Khloe Kardashian has been made to perform at the insistence of her mother, appearing on Celebrity Apprentice involved swallowing the least amount of anything more than pride. Interviewed on Chelsea Handler's show on Netflix which is still airing because Netflix paid for a strip of them in advance, Kardashian recalls how Trump's demands that she be literate and functional rubbed her the...

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Genevieve Morton Bikinis Like A Champ And Shit Around The Web

Genevieve Morton knows Instagram is for bikini shots. And ISIS terrorism recruitment. Someday the two shall merge.

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Aaron Rodgers Particularly Miffed

Green Bay QB Aaron Rodgers is miffed that his brother Jordan who he no longer speaks to was selected to be on ABC's The Bachelorette so the bachelorette could keep asking him planted questions about why Aaron no longer takes his phone calls. It's a blatantly cynical ploy that the ladies who watch the show care about as much as they do In the Grasp rule in football.

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Taylor Swift Snubbed

Taylor Swift received zero nominations for the MTV Video Music Awards this year. The VMAs celebrate the shittiest content at the intersection of teen music and quick-cut videos featuring super limber gay backup dancers. Swift's ex-boyfriend Calvin Harris got nominated. As did Kanye for his music video about fucking Taylor Swift. Swift got bupkis.

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Farrah Abraham in A Bikini

Dating life is tough for a single mom. Single mom anal porn stars not nearly as bad. Farrah Abraham has been the "toughest case yet" for We channel's Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger who finds people who aren't really millionaires and creates artificial relationships that last so long as the cameras are on.

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Blac Chyna Wearing that Kardashian Baby Like a Golden Parachute

Still Fat Rob Kardashian got into a tussle with his stripper baby mama and went on Instagram and deleted every single picture of her. A glimpse into how all middle school going steadies will bust up in the future. According to E! Chyna was worried Still Fat Rob was cheating on her while she carries the baby he never asked for. Chyna well understands her whoring peers and the ease by which dumpy loser with spending cash...

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Insane Clown Posse Scheduling in Advance

At the annual Gathering of the Juggalos last week, the Insane Clown Posse announced they would be holding a march on Washington in September of 2017. The Insane Clown Posse consists of two dudes in clown makeup, one of whom looks a shitload like Guy Fieri in grease paint. Might want to check if he announces out loud that every sandwich he eats is one of the top five sandwiches ever.

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Michael Vick's Bro Has Herpes Too (VIDEO)

Michael Vick's brother Marcus is having a rough week. First he got into a Twittter war with the universe after claiming that LeSean McCoy of the Buffalo Bills gave his baby mama herpes.

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Lindsay Lohan Comes Clean

Lindsay Lohan apologized for her public histrionics accusing her Russian trust fund boyfriend of cheating on her which he most certainly was. Hopefully he used a condom because Lohan definitely has herpes. As it turns out she's a bipolar whore. No harm no foul. We all make mistakes.

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The Mr. Skin Podcast Will Tug Your Dick Just the Way You Like It

THE MR. SKIN PODCAST comes alive once a week, but because this is 2016, you can listen to it whenever the fuck you like. It's a few laughs, some hot girl news, and a whole mess of free easy listening. This Thursday at 10am, what are you doing that's so important? Precisely. Get into this shit.

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Kendall Jenner Breast Defense

Kendall Jenner took to her premium website that can be all yours for three bucks a month to defend her decision to not wear bras. On the scale of literary efforts, this lies somewhere south of Cormac McCarthy though more sapient than anything published on the Player's Tribune ever.

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GQ Has Changed

GQ magazine routinely pens fanboy articles on young male celebrity bodies and fashion that makes gay male erotica blush in its inherent moderation. GQ has evolved into the world's most prominent trap. The seductive photos of famous women featured on the cover guide you into a world of Oxford Library late night glory holes.

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Doutzen Kroes Paddleboards In A Bikini And Shit Around The Web

That's some ass. That's all I got. Paddle boarding seemed totally fucking stupid until right now.

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Amber Heard Leaking

Amber Heard and her team of Johnny Depp ambulance chasers have been openly sharing details of their divorce proceedings to TMZ. It's unclear how she looks in the mirror and it's a bonafide fact she doesn't give head. Her leveraging of her vagina is becoming so egregious that Depp's lawyers want to fine her $100,000 every time details of the case are leaked.

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