Tobias Strebel Died of a Broken Bieber

A year later and plastic surgery addict Tobias Strebel (a.k.a. Toby Sheldon) has been declared dead due to drug overdose. A year is a long time to wait on the cause of death for a 30-something guy found alone and unresponsive in a motel room in the North Valley. The coroner concluded that the twisted man who spent his life savings on surgery to look like Justin Bieber died from a cocktail of Valium, Xanax and alcohol,...

read more
Ashley Graham Fat Farming and Gay Sulu On the Cutting Room Floor in the Last Men on Earth Podcast #53 (AUDIO)

There have to be more important issues of the day than the shit we discuss on our podcast. Look at all those sexless souls with buttons and vintage hats at the conventions. They're doing the yeoman's work of this nation. Cheering, drinking, and sharing money with the local sex worker industry.

read more
Selena Gomez Goes Deep (VIDEO)

Selena Gomez has something on her mind. It's been stewing while she put words to her thoughts. It's like watching Russians try to karaoke Blinded by the Light. Gomez welled up with tears in Jakarta as she spoke to kindness and the human condition on stage. Her fans screamed because hearing her speak so guilelessly enhanced the youthful quality so many love to tug to in the evenings after prayers. After the concert,...

read more
Bella Hadid Bikini Show And Shit Around The Web

Bella Hadid has overtaken her older sister Gigi Hadid in popularity. It's probably the fake lyme disease that propels her ambition. Symptoms of fake lyme disease included showing off your tits a ton and demanding privacy. In that order.

read more
Aldon Smith Lacks That Certain Je Ne Sais Quoi (VIDEO)

In the future that started ten years ago, people will be judged entirely by dumb shit they film themselves doing. Social media is one large stupidity test. Case in point, Aldon Smith. The talented NFL linebacker is set to come off a one year suspension for DUI, subsequent to arrests for holding a knife at a stabbing party, hit and run, and making casual bomb threats at LAX while wasted.

read more
Rio Seems Ready, Part Eleven

As the world turns its eyes to Rio for the grand unveiling of the Third World Olympics, there are continued signs that the lawless post-colonial slum town isn't quite prepared. Decapitated bodies and robberies are one thing. Crime stats are easily fudged. Zika babies linger, but you put a nice crocheted hat on their diminutive domes and nobody even screams in fear until kindergarten. Non-working toilets, that people...

read more
Lindsay Lohan Can't Have Nice Things

Lindsay Lohan seemed settled down with a young wealthy Russian man who believed in her creatively and as important, supported her financially. Somebody left the keys to the liquor cabinet out and everything went to hell.

read more
Britney Spears Ass View (VIDEO)

The only thing creepier than having a dude sneak up on a woman at a gym and film her ass crack is for that same woman to order her intern to do the same. The Jason Voorhees eye view is quite becoming a lady.

read more
Kim Kardashian Still Fucking With Taylor Swift (VIDEO)

Nobody fucks with Taylor Swift. Kim Kardashian fucks with everybody. This is the battle earth has been waiting for since Xenu launched his first volcano burial business.

read more
Amber Heard And Elon Musk Possibly Boning

Amber Heard is reportedly sucking Elon Musk's cock. Musk is a bonafide genius. Any media outlet with financial stake in Tesla will gladly tell you in 3,000 words. He's probably super smart. Yet marketing and super genius rarely go together. People steal the latter's ideas. Hence Tesla didn't have a Campbell's Soup campaign and probably died wearing those weird fingerless gloves.

read more
Iggy Azalea Bum Rush

The fact Iggy Azalea thinks this is a flattering picture speaks to a harsh truth: People are fucking garbage. She's into body modification possibly as a response to a documented rape she is on the record as having enjoyed. You don't hear that much. It's not refreshing. This chick should have turned up in a dumpster.

read more
Lisa Bonet Comes Out of Sex Scene Retirement (The Mr. Skin Minute Video)

Who knows shit like Lisa Bonet hasn't been naked on camera in twenty-two years? Mr. Skin does. He knows that cold like you know Bulgarian Olympic weight lifting records. Everybody's got their thing. His is cooler than yours. Bonet's taking it from behind on Ray Donovan on Showtime. The show does pretty well for itself. If you renamed it to Lisa Bonet Takes It From Behind, it would do even better.

read more
Can Katy Perry's Shitty New Song Save the Shitty Summer Olympics? (VIDEO)

NBC has tapped Katy Perry's new familiar sounding single, Rise, as the official anthem of the 2016 Summer Olympics in Rio. That means Universal footed the bill for the studio time to translate inspiring Amazing Race riffs into a pop song about overcoming obstacles, like masked gunmen or Zika you'd have to think. Metaphors are for cowards.

read more
Gay Sulu Continues to Confuse

Star Trek Beyond is a snooze fest with endless MacGyver discussions about how to jimmy up a communicator or an impulse engine. If you're keeping cinematic reboot LGBT score, Sulu's got a husband in this one.

read more
Charli XCX Ass Show And Shit Around The Web

Every time there's a story on Charli XCX, I consider looking up who the fuck she is. Then I stare at her ass for a while and assume she'll be gone before I ever get around to reading. I may be right, I may be wrong, but I manage my time well.

read more