Madonna Handcuffed By Sean Penn For Charity

Madonna's eleven year old son is from Malawi. Being the daughter of Madonna has got to be a step up, but just barely. The villagers back home never used to masturbate with a mustard bottle on the hammock. read more

Matt Barnes At It Again

Matt Barnes either choked a woman out or got choked by a guy at an NYC nightclub, depending on which hood rat you believe. According to dubious reports, he also punched another woman and a man, and according to his much better teammate DeMarcus Cousins, Cousins then... read more

Serena Williams Wants Gender Equality Now

Perhaps it's a sign of social progress that a black woman from Compton is now flush with time and energy to complain about female athletes not receiving similar accomplishment status to male athletes. Serena Williams simply won't let gender equality go as an issue in one... read more

Farrah Abraham Is Slutty Santa Claus And Shit Around The Web

Human cum sponge Farrah Abraham dressed like a slutty Santa. She's bringing kids the clap for Christmas. read more

Madonna's New Ass Seems a Tad Bulky (VIDEO)

Malawi is a special place for Madonna. It's the impoverished African nation where she's purchased between three and seven of her adopted children. You can never get those shiny beads back. read more

Lisa Opie Eschews Undergarments

Women going out for the evening without underpants used to have a very limited upside. You weren't necessarily shuffled up to the VIP room to meet the visiting royals and Haliburton execs. But the bartender would fuck you in exchange for comped drinks. read more

Taylor Swift Shut That Shit Down

Denver radio DJ David Mueller isn't remaining silent during his civil case with Taylor Swift who's suing him for grabbing her ass during a promotional photo op. FlatAssGate rolls on with Mueller claiming Swift's false charges of goosing cost him his job while Swift claims... read more

Lena Dunham Merely Looks Pregnant

Confucius probably said something about the zoo with no cages soon being empty. Now that social media has allowed unsolicited opinions to flow freely, the landscape of opinionated mother-in-laws has grown nearly infinite. read more

Bella Hadid Christmas Video Is Simply Adorable

Women's magazines alone are now able to produce cliche cheesecake shots of women without fear of an enraged hashtag. They provide much needed mitigating context for the sexual objectification of women. That context being, we're women, we can't possibly be exploiting other... read more

Cuba Gooding Needs Rehab Stat

You get a few passes on being really sloppy drunk in public before it goes from funny to kind of sad. That's where Cuba Gooding is at. Also once you near fifty, drop the junior. read more

Hollywood Loves a Slick Rape Story

With the sudden disappearance of every single woman who stepped forward to accuse Donald Trump of rape, celebrities are looking for fresh bait to spark their self-righteous outrage. Jessica Chastain and a bunch of kindred spirits found such a burning ember in news that... read more

Anthony Weiner Returns From Sex Rehab

Anthony Weiner is reportedly too broke to stay in sex rehab. Most guys who have a lot of sex are less financially secure than they'd have you believe. Hookers are super expensive. So are drinks. Dinners can be. Divorces, certainly. read more