Rumer Willis Jawline Bullied

Rumer Willis claims Vanity Fair Photoshopped her jaw to several evolution iterations past Cro-Magnon. Willis posted the previously unseen photo to Instagram then asked everybody to please remove it from their accounts. Somebody got into mom's Whip-Its.read more

Madonna Is Gross And Shit Around The Web

Feeble crone Madonna was still trying to shock us by wearing assless pants to the Met Gala and then sucking her finger seductively at the after party. Wigged Gollum fetishists to the front of the line.read more

Kanye Just Can't Let Go

Kanye West is still talking about that one time at band camp he interrupted Taylor Swift on stage at the 2009 VMA's. Even twelve year old Taylor Swift fansite bloggers stopped asking years ago. West swerved onto the topic on the Steve Harvey Radio Show even after Harvey said he's rather not bring it up. This is Kanye West's molestation moment.read more

Emma Watson Recycled Fashion

Watson claims the use of the recycled plastic threads and organic only silk and cotton additions are a feminist issue since most of the third world traditional garment factory workers are female. She's not quite clear on what happens to the women of Bangladesh once they lose their shitty factory jobs. Perhaps Sarah Lawrence for four years of Art History studies?read more

Ariel Winter Can't Stop Showing Off Them Titties

Being eighteen and having a constantly talked about rack is just far too much power. It supersedes any desire to be politically correct or discuss your craft seriously. TV sitcom daughter is not an official SIC code but it's still lionized as teacher or Chief Diversity Officer.read more

Grimes Propositioned

Grimes is a shitty nickname. Like a dwarf with scoliosis who sweeps the manor floors. Canadian singer Grimes' real name is Claire. But Claire is the kind of girl who likes frame stores and spying on her boyfriend's texts. As Grimes, you can authoritatively comment on the misogynistic state of the music industry. Asked about the Kesha and Dr. Luke case, Grimes claimed that particular situation is fairly complicated....read more

Columbia Has a Mattress Girl Problem

That chick at Columbia University who toted a mattress around on her shoulders because the school refused to expel her ex-boyfriend she claimed raped her on that mattress continues to haunt the college. What was once the Northeastern liberal arts cause célèbre may become a payout to Paul Nungesser for the school wholly backing Mattress Girl, Emma Sulkowicz, both before and after Nungesser was completely exonerated.read more

VP Mary Carey And Shit Around The Web

Former porn star Mary Carey would like to be Donald Trump's running mate. Nobody knows the struggles of the middle class like a woman whose done ass to mouth on camera for five hundred a pop. Like the modern Howard Cunningham.read more

Marcella Braga Made It Out

Olympics fever has turned out to be mostly Zika. The IOC is producing thousands of tiny sized baby knit caps as souvenirs for foreign visitors to Rio in August. Attractive Brazilian woman like this chick know exactly what to do during pandemics and inflation crisis, head for the fucking exits.read more

Cara Delevingne Seems Unstoppable

Cara Delevingne is one of those chicks racking up career accomplishments with the impossible to overestimate benefit of a massive social media following. If you're producing a historical costume drama, you could do worse than her thirty million Instagram followers pushed to buy tickets.read more

Nicki Minaj And Madonna Fashion Forward

The Met Gala is New York's version of the Oscars, only you don't have to have a job to attend, just a really expensive dress. Until fully audited, consider it a fundraiser for the Metropolitan Museum which needs to remain open so student filmmakers at NYU have somewhere to guerrilla shoot. More movies about what it's like to grow up with two literati parents who ignored you, please.read more

Radio Disney Assembles Their Pretty Babies

Disney TV and radio events resemble the trotting out of child sex slave workers freed from dingy sub-basements after Adam LaRoche has raided the joint. We've won the battle but we're losing the war. Fogle has a Foundation. LaRoche just has Wonderboy and Jesus in his bluetooth.read more

Bieber Tranqs His Tiger

Tiger blood seemed cooler when it was a cheeky euphemism for The AIDS running through Charlie Sheen's veins. Less cool when loaded with sedatives to keep kitty comatose at a Toronto engagement party for Justin Bieber's righteous dad Jeremy. You'd think maybe Jeremy Bieber would've given up on romance after fucking a baby into a runaway teen and making a very small grown up. His prospects certainly got richer when his...read more

Carlos Martinez STD Sued

Cardinals starting pitcher Carlos Martinez had to leave St. Louis to defend himself in court for aggravated re-gifting of an STD to a chick in a Miami. If every man in this world was a pro athlete, we'd all be making pilgrimages to South Florida for similar cases. The upside of playing big league ball is you pull exceptionally good tail for a skinny dude from the Dominicanread more

Amy Schumer Cam Raped

Amy Schumer missed the first day of I'm suddenly super fucking rich and famous orientation. The late bloomers never catch up. Watch the fat kids in ski school. Born attractive chicks embrace their bogus public persona from the time they're working over their sixth grade teacher for a passing grade. You and everybody else passed the background check. Give her an A just in case.read more