Selena Gomez on 5-Star Lockdown

If the empty chairs in pastoral retreat settings tell you anything, it's mental health facility. Hotel and vacation promotional photos always show couples holding hands. Rehab centers empty chairs. Somebody needs to work on the iconography. No reason to rub in the feeling... read more

Caitlin Stasey Gets Topless Again And Shit Around The Web

Caitlin Stasey knows Instagram is for topless pics. She uses it as a tool to teach her specific brand of feminist empowerment. Smile and tug. She'll assume you're listening. read more

Never Go Against the Family

MediaTakeOut made its bones by publishing many of the early hacked celebrity email and text nudes before Scarlett Johansson and Jennifer Lawrence muscled the FBI into the equation and made re-posting that shit plain suicidal. The Feds are one thing. The Kardashian legal... read more

Olivia Wilde Breastfeeding Points

There's a quiet dignity in being part of the hundred million women a year who breastfeed their babies without so much as a selfie or Instagram shoutout to woman power. At some point wealthy celebrity women having kids in their 30's decided that snapping photos of their... read more

Subway Jared's Ex Wants a Taste (VIDEO)

Jared Fogle's second ex-wife is suing Subway because she claims the fast food franchise knew all along her husband was a creepy sex offender but kept it from both Americans who love shitty cheap food and herself. read more

Lady Gaga Riding High

Lady Gaga is riding high on a positively reviewed new album, Joanne. Also, she lost weight so she can do the mostly naked thing in public again. She was formerly relying on the unsupported belief that fishnet deftly disguises chub. read more

Kendall Jenner Stalker Let Loose

Kendall Jenner's crazy ass stalker was acquitted by a jury for jumping out of the bushes everywhere this chick goes because stalking charges are super hard to make stick. At least until there's a bloody corpse on the ground and a guy in handcuffs screaming, "Why wouldn't... read more

Amy Schumer Called To Task for Plantation Yucks (VIDEO)

Eventually, the politically correct eat their own. It's the Hungry Hungry Hippos Theory of self-righteous consumption. If the process happened with any expediency, the snowflakes would melt faster than they're falling. It's not. The drifts are growing. read more

Justin Bieber Believes Himself To Be An Artist

Justin Bieber walked off stage in London because his idiot prepubescent fans wouldn't stop screaming at the sight of him. Bieber apparently feels he has a message to convey and wants to be treated as a serious artist and not the twink YouTube bubblegum fuck he is who has... read more

Black Players Sensing the Josh Brown Double Standard

Black former and current players in the NFL want to know why the Commissioner seems to be running a lose and completely objective standard on penalties for beating your wife or girlfriend. I mean, you gotta beat them, but shouldn't the penalties be the same whether you're... read more

Victoria Justice Covered Topless And Shit Around The Web

Victoria Justice is topless except for some strategically placed hair. She's never shown her tits and she's approaching 24. Let's pretend she's wild in bed. It takes the edge off. read more

Blac Chyna Covered Up

Blac Chyna has taken to motoring around Los Angeles in a black hoody, covered from head to toe like a Suge Knight sized ninja. Coming in and out of a 200,000 car nobody bought with money they truly earned violates at least seven rules of stealthiness. read more