Bella Hadid Making It

Bella Hadid and her slightly older sister Gigi are massively dominating the celebrity model daughter space. It's a big fucking space with a shit ton of money and famous pop singers and gay men with extremely nice nails. read more

Amber Rose Wild Birthday Bash And Shit Around The Web

Apparently human STI Amber Rose's birthday party got out of control. The entire venue had a massive pap smear to measure the net damage. read more

The Good Version of The Bachelor Materializes

Now would be the time to notice that network television programming is for people over fifty or people with vaginas. Networks didn't move into reality TV programming merely because it was cheaper, though that was obvious. They also realized they couldn't compete with... read more

Byron Allen Figured Shit Out But Good

Well-past prime standup comedian Byron Allen has transformed his mediocre syndicated unscripted network of shows into a massive money maker by compelling major cable outlets to take his product as a course of racial bias lawsuits. read more

Kourtney Kardashian Stepping Out

With Kim Kardashian on psychological trauma lockdown, there's a power vacuum in the braless big fake tit Calabasas moms evening out space. The first to fill the void are her very sisters. Sharks can't ever be real friends. read more

Paula Jones Again (VIDEO)

Trotting Paula Jones out for another recounting of a Bill Clinton Governor pants dropping is a sure sign this election is just about over. Hillary Clinton may be the most insidious Corleone fatty sister and her fake husband may be more rapey than all the faked Rolling... read more

Jamie Foxx and Katie Holmes Going Strong Despite Obstacles

Here's a thing. Half the guys in your high school or college drama programs were gay. The number of openly gay male movie actors approximates zero. Either the reprogramming ministers are working wonders on the Greyhounds to Los Angeles or certain somebodies are finding... read more

Tara Reid Key Get for Maxim

The second best looking woman at Maxim's Halloween party was Magic Johnson's son. In the right light, or absence thereof, Tara Reid was the best. Mark down the year in which your mediocre Halloween party list surpassed Maxim magazine's. read more

Paris Hilton Corrupting The Youth

Paris Hilton has been shoving herself in front of paparazzi cameras with Sofia Richie, Lionel Richie's 18 year old daughter. If you could tell Richie was a prick based on his wardrobe and music videos, the way his children have turned out should be exhibit A. Not... read more

Justin Bieber's Real Ticket Buyers Speak Out

Justin Bieber threw a temper tantrum in London protesting the fact that his screaming fans weren't taking him seriously as an artist. Sasha Grey was known to do the same during her double penetration scenes. These outbursts can last a few years until society recycles the... read more

Selena Gomez on 5-Star Lockdown

If the empty chairs in pastoral retreat settings tell you anything, it's mental health facility. Hotel and vacation promotional photos always show couples holding hands. Rehab centers empty chairs. Somebody needs to work on the iconography. No reason to rub in the feeling... read more

Caitlin Stasey Gets Topless Again And Shit Around The Web

Caitlin Stasey knows Instagram is for topless pics. She uses it as a tool to teach her specific brand of feminist empowerment. Smile and tug. She'll assume you're listening. read more