Lena Dunham Merely Looks Pregnant

Confucius probably said something about the zoo with no cages soon being empty. Now that social media has allowed unsolicited opinions to flow freely, the landscape of opinionated mother-in-laws has grown nearly infinite. read more

Bella Hadid Christmas Video Is Simply Adorable

Women's magazines alone are now able to produce cliche cheesecake shots of women without fear of an enraged hashtag. They provide much needed mitigating context for the sexual objectification of women. That context being, we're women, we can't possibly be exploiting other... read more

Cuba Gooding Needs Rehab Stat

You get a few passes on being really sloppy drunk in public before it goes from funny to kind of sad. That's where Cuba Gooding is at. Also once you near fifty, drop the junior. read more

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Hollywood Loves a Slick Rape Story

With the sudden disappearance of every single woman who stepped forward to accuse Donald Trump of rape, celebrities are looking for fresh bait to spark their self-righteous outrage. Jessica Chastain and a bunch of kindred spirits found such a burning ember in news that... read more

Anthony Weiner Returns From Sex Rehab

Anthony Weiner is reportedly too broke to stay in sex rehab. Most guys who have a lot of sex are less financially secure than they'd have you believe. Hookers are super expensive. So are drinks. Dinners can be. Divorces, certainly. read more

Charles Barkley Used The G Word

ESPN analyst Rachel Nichols didn't appreciate Charles Barkley referring to the Golden State Warrios as playing "Little girly basketball." To be fair, he probably wanted to say they play like "little bitches" but you can't say that on TV and also it might irritate Kevin... read more

Pirelli Calendar Ruined and Amber Heard Beaten on the Last Men on Earth Podcast #68

On this week's Last Men on Earth podcast Matt and I try to figure out how a titty wall calendar became a testament to intentionally aged and wrinkled women, why Tom Cruise will never find happiness no matter his amulet count, offer some advice to Mariah Carey on breakup... read more

Toni Garrn Bikinis On A Boat And Shit Around The Web

Sexy Toni Garrn struts her stuff in a tiny bikini on a boat. If Leonardo DiCaprio could only see what he gave up now. Though he'd have to see it while fucking five other hotter women, so probably not as disappointing. read more

Joanna Krupa Sideboob and Panties for the Animals

Joanna Krupa has a long history of helping out animals. Some that used to pay her handsomely for dates. Others smaller and furrier and in need of rescue. read more

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Man, Cable TV Is Getting Good and Raunchy (Mr Skin Minute VIDEO)

Premium cable television has become everything you'd hoped it could become if you were frustrated trying to beat off to the first fifty years of television. read more

Irina Shayk Is Throwing Pots and Having Bradley Cooper's Baby

Irina Shayk is pregnant. Out of decorum, news outlets are refusing to state definitively that the baby belongs to Bradley Cooper who's been fucking Shayk for almost a year now. Though that decorum makes Shayk seem even sluttier. read more

Chelsea Handler Run Hide Fight

The common through line of doleful celebrities lamenting the loss of Hillary Clinton is the intense focus of how the election results affected them personally. Less so how the Family First economic plan shall never be enacted. Whatever the hell that was. read more