Johnny Manziel Keith Moon Status

Johnny Manziel will either be dead in six years or become a born again Christian on the 7-Eleven parking lot lecture circuit. He reportedly was at a family function and then disappeared via helicopter only to be spotted blacked out in a bar hours later smelling of skidmarks and discount jerky.read more

Amber Heard Laughing All The Way To The Bank

Amber Heard testified in court of the horrors of Johnny Depp's domestic abuse then left with her obvious lesbian box licker with an expression which could only be described as having just pulled a fast one. The best things in life are free.read more

Gay Vigilante Billionaires and Amy Schumer Trolling For Trolls on the Last Men on Earth Podcast #47 (AUDIO)

On this week's show Matt and I delve into the profound topics of Johnny Deep iPhoning Amber Heard, Ludacris demanding extra large condoms when performing at colleges, Facebook and Paypal billionaire Peter Thiel bankrolling Hulk Hogan's legal team, and vegans showing that vegans can do anything less obnoxious people can do. Like climbing Mount Everest. You already know how that turns out.read more

Amber Heard Blackmails Johnny Depp

According to comedian Doug Stanhope who was hanging out at Johnny Depp's house the night of the alleged abuse, the entire facial bruising is a domestic abuse ploy by Amber Heard to dig into Depp's deep pockets. Stanhope notes that Depp's friends knew that Heard was a horrible cunt who manipulated the shit out of their lovelorn drama buddy.read more

Bella Thorne Bikinis At A Photoshoot And Shit Around The Web

The question isn't when is Bella Thorne in a bikini, it's when isn't she in a bikini? This girl wears that shit in the dead of winter. Not that I'm complaining. She's got some mighty fine tetas as she says in her fake Spanish.read more

Justin Bieber Drinks Out Of Lewis Hamilton's Champagne Bottle At Monaco Grand Prix

Auto racing is a good gig if you can get it. You drive souped up cars. You fuck hot international models. Everybody gets wasted on rich people's wine. Lewis Hamilton who used to bang that Pussycat Doll won the Monaco Grand Prix. As is the tradition a magnum of champagne was opened for the champion racer. He chose to share with Justin Bieber who was on hand because that little lesbian Lucifer is everywhere.read more

Serena Williams Dominates

Serena Williams has dominated the French Open with her tennis skill of being five times bigger and stronger than her nearest competitor. An offensive lineman who can bench press two thousand pounds would be tough to get past. Why do the nose tackles keep ending up in the stands?read more

Rob Kardashian And Blac Chyna Working the Door

Nothing says pool party like a pre-diabetic unemployed scion and his pregnant stripper girlfriend. That's where you want to be spending your Memorial Day weekend.read more

Alexis Ren Tan Lines Not Much Else

A young chick with buck teeth and a hot body can write her own check. I have to keep looking up this model's age to make sure I'm not getting bunked next to Jared for the next ten years.read more

Depp's Ex Has His Back

Johnny Depp's ex-wife essentially called Amber Heard an opportunist in a handwritten letter stating she doesn't believe Depp has an abusive bone in his heavily accessorized body. People change. Depp probably didn't punch Amber Heard. He probably shot putted an iPhone at her while she was badgering him about vegan dog food.read more

Ludacris Demads Big Condoms

Ludacris made $65,000 for a 13 minute shitty performance at the University of Georgia. While that is offensive in its own right a lot of people are missing the point and are super mad he was supplied with liquor and Magnum Condoms as his rider demands. You don't have to use them to put them in your contract.read more

You Can Run, But You Can't Hide From the Mr. Skin $99 Lifetime Special

That big grey dude in the epically shitty new X-Men movie (spoiler alert) lived for a thousand generations. That seems like a long time. Especially without access to any decent pictures of naked mutant chicks. If only he'd have had a $99 Lifetime special membership to Mr. Skin.read more

Amber Heard Bruised Face Leaving Court

Just when you thought there was nothing left to the Johnny Depp and Amber Heard out of nowhere divorce filing, along comes Amber Heard with one a bruise on the right side of her face. Heard claims that Depp threw his iPhone at her over this past weekend. It's completely unsubstantiated and Depp's representatives are denying it, but if you close your eyes you can easily imagine Johnny Depp all pissy and throwing his...read more

Somebody's Baby Is Feeling Up Hannah Ferguson

Hannah Ferguson is a proud member of the Trump Modeling Agency. Donald Trump formed the outlet in New York after realizing running a modeling agency was the only thing better than being a billionaire for making hot young women weak in the knees. It bore him many good lays and a future Slovakian model third wife wife.read more

April Love Geary in A Bikini

April Love Geary posted a whole bunch of vacation photos of her tits and ass to remind the world why she gets to have Robin Thicke in his vests laying on top of her each night. It's like a quarterback showing off his college football championship rings after being traded to the Browns. We know you were once great.read more