Rihanna Loves The Fake Black Lady And Shit Around The Web

By Jack October 06, 2015 @ 12:00 PM


Singer and occasional Chris Brown punching bag Rihanna came out in defense of Rachel Dolezal, the NAACP local official who faked being black for years. She said she was “kind of a hero” for fooling everyone. Rachel Dolezal came out in favor of Rihanna’s singing for the same reason.

Read more of Rihanna’s love of cultural appropriation. (TMZ)

Bono’s daughter Eve Hewson has some big ‘ol titties. (Last Men On Earth)

Elisa Meliani is all kinds of naked in these pics. (Drunken Stepfather)

Charissa Littlejohn is cleavy as fuck in a black bikini. (Egotastic)

Behold Zendaya’s sideboob! Behold it, I said! (Hollywood Tuna)

Hot chicks dressed like cops can touch my night stick any day. (The Chive)

Vanessa Hudgens looks like a clown. A clown I’d like to boink. (Popoholic)

Kate Winslet In Lingerie

By Lex October 06, 2015 @ 11:49 AM

Milftastic Kate Winslet In Black Lingerie Esquire Mag Uk
British actresses understand the need to be naked for film roles. A must if you want to win shit. American dramatic craftswomen are so precious about their tits. I can’t keep trying to avoid eye contact with Chloe Sevigny’s tit mole every time there’s a call for an American actress to get topless. Kate Winslet has been bare assed pounded in over ten thousand feature films. She’d take on a role of the imprisoned sex hostage of a Japanese robot set to fisting mode if it meant working with an acclaimed director. Emote emote naked in a bathtub and show me some earned tears, American actresses. Your political messaging is tiresome.

Photo Credit: Esquire UK

Kate Hudson Fabletics Scam, Or Not

By Lex October 06, 2015 @ 9:32 AM

Kate Hudson Fabletics Scam
Kate Hudson fronts the moronically named sports apparel line for women under fire because customers keep signing up for some grifter VIP new outfit of the month club and can’t figure out how to quit. I’d mock them more but I’m still paying for a Bally’s gym membership I quit eight years ago and I just got a cash on delivery order of Best of Steve Miller cassette tapes from BMG. The company that owns Fabletics uses a too good to be true entry deal to lure you into a subscription service to get new sports bras and leggings every month then you find you’re locked in for $50 a month. You can’t read the 2-pt font out-clause and even if you could, nobody seems to answer the number they tell you to call to cancel. Still, you do look amazing in spin class and Kate Hudson gets to feed her babies the better heroin. When the address for legal letters is the Island of Misfit Toys, you’re probably best not entering the credit card digits.

Photo Credit: Instagram

Kaley Cuoco Saw It Coming

By Lex October 06, 2015 @ 9:13 AM


According to friends of Kaley Cuoco, the Big Bang Theory actress wasn’t surprised by her recent divorce from her husband Ryan Sweeting after only 21 months of the kind of marriage gay marriage activists used to point to as heterosexual marriage fail. Those were good times. According to friends of Cuoco, the divorce was a long time coming, which is an odd thing to say of a year and a half marriage. Marrying a hunky professional tennis player seemed like a good idea when Cuoco polled her moist and happy vagina, but didn’t hold well when she realized his annual earnings were in the ten grand minus thirty-seven grand in travel expenses range

She realized she wants to be with a guy who has a job and is motivated. All of Ryan’s friends knew it was going to end bad

Sweeting was perfectly content to live off of his wife’s million dollars an episode sitcom cash. And why not? He did that hard work being born good looking and having great legs in tennis shorts. He used his charms to win himself a very successful actress and now he wants to do some light workouts and have lunch with his BFFs. Women wanted equality. Welcome to it. That Roman numeral wedding date tattoo removal is going to be a bitch.

Photo credit: Getty Images

Kylie Jenner Rolling in the Dough

By Lex October 06, 2015 @ 7:33 AM

Kylie Jenner’s Rolls Royce Ghost has caused controversy among people who believe it’s inappropriate for an eighteen year old chick to buy herself a $350,000 car. Her third. It’s easy to decry base capitalism when the whore is outspending the johns. That seems pretty fucking sexist. Kylie Jenner’s new app is printing money from among a young female audience that feminists will someday decry were never encouraged into the mathematical and computing sciences. Somebody has to serve the Bloomin’ Onion. Kylie Jenner’s family is drowning in bullion and new vaginas. There will be plenty of time in the future to make highly publicized charitable donations that never get delivered. This is your time, Kylie. Hit the freeway doing eighty come next rain and don’t wear a seat belt. Turn off the lights at night. You are invincible. You are the Ghost. I did what to your brakes now?

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Christina Milian in A Bikini

By Lex October 05, 2015 @ 12:20 PM

Christina Milian Bikini Hottie In Miami
I have mixed feelings seeing Christina Milian in Miami. She’s bronzed and shiny and lost the baby weight but kept the tits. Twice blessed. Yet, she’s been my sleeper pick in my celebrity ghoul pool since the day I learned fucking rappers is her primary hobby outside of betting the greyhounds and elective surgery. The AIDS is still known to be pretty powerful as are bus crashes and drive by shootings. I’m not wishing Milian an ill-fate, I’m stating that drinks are on me should something truly unfortunate happen. I’m doing much shittier on DraftKings than everybody randomly selected to be in their commercials. I kind of need this.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Krysten Ritter’s Ass And Shit Around The Web

By Jack October 05, 2015 @ 12:00 PM


I watched that shitty Don’t Trust The B In Apartment 23 show because sometimes Krysten Ritter was in her underwear. Does that make her sad or me? Okay, yeah, it’s me.

Check her out in a bikini. (TMZ)

Meanwhile, Denise Schaefer’s ass is spectacular. (Last Men On Earth)

“The Leftovers” is chock full of floppy titties. (Egotastic All-Stars)

Tara Reid in a bikini looks like Skeletor in a bikini. (Drunken Stepfather)

Martha Hunt is covered topless on a motor cycle. (Hollywood Tuna)

I’m all about sweaty bitches in sports bras. (The Chive)

Bella Thorne is busty as fuck. (Popoholic)

Elle Fanning Jogs

By Lex October 05, 2015 @ 11:48 AM

Elle Fanning Jogs In A Sports Bra
Elle Fanning has made several hundred movies I’ve never seen. She’s only seventeen but started at birth. They filmed her crowning with two men in the background weeping because their surrogate delivered them a perfect gay couple baby. Slap a gold laurel leaf on that movie one sheet. It’s easy to be jealous of Elle Fanning. She doesn’t even jog like most girls. You know what I’m talking about. If she’s that pale and never gets melanoma, we should probably clone her genetics and use them to fill in the Planned Parenthood eugenics valley. The sports bra seems superfluous but why nitpick. Your mile is almost over, sweetheart.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet