By Lex December 09, 2013 @ 7:31 PM
None of these men have a chance at nailing Alessandra Ambrosio. I’ve seen this triangle offense before. It’s born to fail. One guy will ultimately make the move. It won’t be the guy with the crossed arms or the lowered arms. It’s going to be the guy making hand gestures to her right. He’s the gamesman. If she were a chunky junior college girl, he’d probably be getting lucky tonight. But she’s a Victoria’s Secret model with a wealthy husband. Move along, Chester.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet, Splash
By Lex December 09, 2013 @ 6:28 PM
It’s only been seven months since Angelina Jolie shared with the world that she’d cut off her boobs because she might get breast cancer in the future. Her precog foresight earned her resounding kudos from every female corner and from the men who like to here-here whatever women say for fear or being cut off from sex. That shit is powerful. I remain concerned that Angelina’s decision to lop off appendages pre-disease might convince people to get a little overzealous in treating their potential future illnesses. I already lost one friend who learned of heart disease in his family to a vegetarian diet. He used to be fun, now he just smells like salad and issues hourly reports on his LDL. The idea of losing millions of tits on spec is some kind of boob-lovers nightmare. That probably sounds selfish and chauvinistic. That’s how you know it’s honest.
Photo Credit: INFphoto.com
By Lex December 09, 2013 @ 5:50 PM
Michelle Vieth is special. She did the reverse Mexican migration from Iowa to Mexico to become a TV star on Spanish language television. I blame the Tea Party because why not. But it worked out okay because now she’s a star and she’s posing in her underwear. Which makes her hotter than any girl I’ve ever met from Iowa.
Photo Credit: H Para Hombres
By Lex December 09, 2013 @ 5:26 PM
Just this past Friday Rose looked pretty fucking amazing without her clothes on. What happened to the good looking chick who inexplicably let Marilyn Manson cry and put his penis in her ear for several years? I blame natural lighting. Everybody clamors for it, but it ruins everything. When I build a home, I’m asking for 3am pub lighting where everybody looks fuckable and none of the girls bother to question why I installed bars on the inside of my windows.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet, PCN
By Lex December 09, 2013 @ 4:51 PM
With only one preview shot of the forthcoming video for the Lady Gaga song about letting R. Kelly piss directly into her screeching portal, I’m already prepared to call this the musical event of the year. What could possibly go visually wrong with Megan’s Law website featured face Terry Richardson directing the bewildered ferret like countenance of Lady Gaga writhing around on R. Kelly homaging Kanye and flipping the bird.
I know you’re waiting for the DWUW video. Its unlike any video I’ve ever done. Very Personal. Just making it perfect. Exciting, — Lady Gaga tweeting her Little Monsters
By personal, I think Gaga means you might catch a glimpse of the sutures where he gunny sack used to be. Do What You Want will be the video they show on long sea voyages to keep the sailors from getting hard enough to rape each other in the boiler room. Can not wait.
By Lex December 09, 2013 @ 4:35 PM
Padma Lakshmi is down in Miami looking for another billionaire to give her a baby. It probably won’t take very long. While Zuckerberg likes his girls a little more aspy, I can see one of the Walton kids or maybe Jeff Bezos on a bender dipping his wick into this hot chef. Billionaires don’t draw nearly as much hot tail as millionaires. One of life’s little ironies I’m expecting never to encounter.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet, INFphoto.com
By Jack December 09, 2013 @ 4:21 PM
Lamar Odom got slapped with three years probation after he plead no contest to a DUI. Odom’s been in trouble with the law before, and a notorious crack-whore delighter, but given that he had to spend four years having sex with Khloe Kardashian, the court kind of took mercy on his soul. In true celebrity justice form, Odom was also sentenced to three month alcohol education, where he will learn such things as how to mix a proper martini and how many gallons of hooch it will take until he forever forgets what Khloe’s furry snatchball looked like in those crotchless panties she wore for their first-hand job anniversary. Remember when coach told you to just focus on basketball? Why didn’t you listen?
By Lex December 09, 2013 @ 3:35 PM
Paris Hilton once imagined her drug dealer was Paul Walker while she threw him a short-on-cash bone, so don’t tell her she’s not feeling as crushed as Tyrese Gibson or Paul Walker’s kid or NBC/Universal this week. When an airplane banner flew over the Paul Walker memorial tribute in Santa Clarita over the weekend, the entire crowd stopped to remind themselves how they need to bake some pies and head over to Paris’ house. Paris would naturally order her guards to beat the well-wishers into the pavement, but everybody would know deep down she was thankful for the gesture. Hang in there, Paris. Don’t do anything stupid. Like hiring a plane to fly your name over Paul Walker’s memorial.
Photo credit: Splash News