By Lex December 10, 2013 @ 4:14 PM
I guess this is part two of Adriana Lima rides a subway in her underwear while black folks ignore her in Numero Tokyo magazine. This seems like a rather failed campaign to get more Brazilian models to visit The Big Apple. What’s the point if you can’t even get a decent sexual assault on the subway? I guess you’ve still got the museums.
Photo Credit: Numéro Tokyo
By Jack December 10, 2013 @ 3:37 PM
Katy Perry finally revealed the true reason why she and human hard-on Russell Brand split up: he wanted to fill her with a baby. It seems that the prancing Limey really wants to be a father. Katy just wasn’t ready to have kids because there are too many insipid repetitive songs left to be sung from her heart. She also says it was a way for Brand to “control” her,
“[Brand] really wanted me to have children, and I knew I wasn’t ready — I think it was a way of control. I think it was part of, If I have a kid, then I would have to sacrifice — I’d have to be home more.”
I for one applaud her decision. Not because of some feminist reason of her owning her reproductive destiny, but because I don’t want those two to make offspring. That would be fucking horrible. It would be just a mop of hair and tits with a chalkboard scratching voice listening to Katy’s parents read a bed time story about how the Jews are ruining the world. We couldn’t allow that child to reach adulthood and I for one am getting too old to keep sneaking into homes and stealing devil babies.
By Lex December 10, 2013 @ 2:52 PM
Lady Gaga is running out of bizarre costume ideas so she just headed out in London in her underwear and a bathrobe. We once found my Great Aunt Elaine looking like that outside a closed hardware store when she was in her 80′s. She said she was buying a socket wrench for Harry Truman. That’s when we knew it was time to start combing her attic for valuables she’d never know were missing.
Photo Credit: PCN, WENN
By Lex December 10, 2013 @ 2:17 PM
Dead Cory Monteith died struggling to silence Lea’s voices in his head. There’s a good chance if you listen to Lea’s new single Cannonball off her impossibly titled Louder album you too will be requesting a hotel room with an early checkout.
Suck on those melodics for a little while. I already answered a Craigslist ad for downtown apartment sharing with Nick Stahl and Leif Garrett. I’m coming Cory. Like a cannonball, I go boom.
By Lex December 10, 2013 @ 1:49 PM
Just when you were pretty sure Tila Tequila was dead, nope. Still here. And telling the Jews to get over The Holocaust already.
I understand the Jewish people went through some shit too, but hey guess what?? SO DID THE MAJORITY OF THE PEOPLE WHO SUFFERED IN EVERY SINGLE WAR THST TOOK PLACE! You were NOT the only ones! So please, if the rest of us can forgive and forget maybe it’s time you do also!!!
Things started to head South for Tila right about the time one of her personalities decided to stop eating and then another decided to throw itself out of a building window. Granted, it was a first floor window so damage was largely superficial. Some people saw it as a cry for help. Other people saw it as the time to hire Michael Jackson’s doctor to help Tila finally get a good long napper. If they’d known Tila was being rebooted in a Nazi costume apologizing for Hitler, I bet more would have voted for the Propofol.
I never said I hated anyone, but just because I fee sympathy, compassion, and forgiveness for others such as Hitler means I am now a monster? All for trying to open your eyes to the truth that Hitler was NOT as bad as he was painted out to be?
The story of Tila Tequila is really the story of Internet social media itself. She got popular for showing off her tits and kissing other girls, then she started talking and everybody started getting bored, and eventually it all turned into Nazi name calling. I’m going to go watch her sex tape again and pretend this never happened.
Photo Credit: Tila Tequila/Facebook, Instagram
By Lex December 10, 2013 @ 1:31 PM
I guess this is why magazines are going away and premium cable is raking in the dough. Emmy Rossum’s tits. Esquire can’t show them to you or else they lose their corporate advertisers who have hated boobs since the Pilgrim days. Showtime can, and they do, and that’s why you pay to watch Shameless. Girls almost showing off their tops is high school. Paying money to see girls take off their tops is what being grown up is all about.
Photo Credit: Esquire Magazine
By Travis December 10, 2013 @ 12:00 PM
Charlize Theron and Bono were among the celebrities and political leaders who gathered at the FNB Stadium in Johannesburg, South Africa this morning to pay tribute to Nelson Mandela, and boy did it look like they were having a good time. They were probably talking about what a comic genius Mandela was known as among his friends, with jokes like, “Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was forced to live separate from others” and “Knock knock…” “Who’s there?” “Me, I just got out of prison after 28 years!” In fact, if Mandela hadn’t just passed away, he probably would have been hanging out on his futon with Charlize, just watching old episodes of Seinfeld.
Photo Credit: Getty
By Travis December 10, 2013 @ 11:00 AM
Victoria’s Secret held its annual Holiday Cheer Gift event last night in New York City, and as always they sent two Angels to stand in one place for several minutes, while blowing kisses and looking pouty so guys will buy their bras under the belief that their girlfriends will instantly look like Adriana Lima or Karlie Kloss. It’s nice to see Victoria’s Secret pushing Karlie more, though, because she has that perfect girl next door look that so many models are lacking these days. And of course by “girl next door” I mean she looks like the girl who lives in my building and shakes a can of pepper spray when she walks by me each morning as a playful reminder that I should wear pants.
Photo Credits: Andres Otero/WENN.com