By Lex December 09, 2013 @ 1:46 PM
I guess Bruce Sprinsteen’s daughter is some kind of horse jumping champion. She’s also kind of hot. She was in some horse show in Paris for rich kids from around the world who can afford a sport that sets you back a couple hundred grand a year. My dad wouldn’t ever buy me a replacement glove in Little League so I used rubber bands for the broken webbing. Even the Dominican kids were mocking me for being poor. Jessica Springsteen dressed up as a swan as part of this costumed event, defeating Bill Gates daughter who dressed up like Windows 8 which everyone agreed was both unnecessary and lame.
Photo Credit: PCN, FameFlynet
By Lex December 09, 2013 @ 1:34 PM
When you give a man the power to do whatever the fuck he wants, he will fuck whatever he wants. Simon Cowell banged a baby into his friend’s wife, then he invited his ex-girlfriend to his new knocked up lady’s baby shower. You try that sometime and see what happens. No mortal man can pull that shit off. Next up Simon’s going to stick his dick through the giant Randy’s Doughnuts sign while he calls the White House to tell them he’s coming by to pick up Malia for a weekender in the Poconos. The Secret Service will try to stop him, but he’ll probably fuck them too. You can’t stop his cock at this point, you can only hope to deport it back to England.
Photo Credit: INFphoto.com
By Jack December 09, 2013 @ 1:16 PM
Selena Gomez shot off her potty mouth and stomped off stage at a concert on Friday. She was performing at KIIS FM’s annual horrible holiday show at the Staples center in LA when she started having trouble with her audio. It seems either the lip-synching equipment was malfunctioning or that whoever was running the board had a brain fart. Annoying? Sure. But was it really worth her saying “What the fuck?” in front of an audience full of her child-aged fans and then refusing to continue with your pre-programmed music set. Unless you’re shooting as much heroin as Sid Vicious, you have no real excuse for breaking the ‘show must go on’ code.
That’s the problem with these young propped up pop music stars. They never came up with a band hauling cheap-ass equipment around from show to show, experiencing annoying malfunctions on a nightly basis. Getting your shit stolen, lost, or damaged and MacGyvering a solution so you don’t sound like total crap is part of the learning process. These girls just move from shampoo commercials to Disney shows to stage. They’ve never plugged in an amp. It’ll be okay, Selena. Shit breaks, you string along the crowd for two minutes with a not so amusing anecdote until the dude in the leather vest fixes it. Don’t ruin Christmas just because you had a glitch in your bluetooth, you pampered twat.
By Travis December 09, 2013 @ 12:00 PM
For as much as $3,000, you could have attended a party at Hyde Bellagio in Las Vegas hosted by “reality star” Audrina Partridge this weekend, and if you actually paid that much money to hang out with a girl who was on The Hills, then I’d like some of whatever drugs you’re selling and smoking. If anything, I’d love to know what Audrina tells people when they ask her what she does for a living, because “reality star” would imply that she’s currently on a TV show, while “really terrible actress in several recent awful movies” would at least be a little more accurate.
Photo Credits: WireImage/Getty
By Travis December 09, 2013 @ 11:00 AM
Charlie Sheen’s days of nailing everything with two feet may be numbered, because the 48-year old actor who looks like he’s at least 60 claims that his current girlfriend, former porn star Brett Rossi, is the love of his life. Charlie recently put on a hell of a sickening public display with Brett for everyone with a camera to conveniently witness, but while he’s busy accusing his former porn star girlfriends of stealing money from him, he has also been telling TMZ that Brett is the pot of fake breasts at the end of his jizz-soaked rainbow.
“I’ve been on a lifelong journey, a 1000 century quest, in search of the better and missing half of my heart and my brane (sic),” he wrote with incredible irony, adding, “That expedition is now (rated) ‘a major success’ and beyond the valley of dunn-ski complete. The MaSheen wins again.” So we can all look forward to his incredibly offensive and juvenile rant about Brett when this shit goes south by February.
Photo Credit: Getty
By Travis December 09, 2013 @ 10:00 AM
Shakira arriving at LAX in a see-through shirt isn’t very newsworthy as much as it’s a reminder of how much us losers in coach suck at life. I’m assuming that if Shakira isn’t flying around on her own private jet, the wealthy singer is at least taking up all of first class on her own, so nobody but her and her entourage can experience her rose petal queefs. But this at least offers the possibility that some lucky asshole got to sit next to Shakira for a few hours, while the rest of us were busy fighting over an arm rest with 400 pounds of egg salad in a pair of old sweatpants.
Photo Credits: WENN.com
By Lex December 09, 2013 @ 9:32 AM
Sure there’s some natural remorse after nailing a Kardashian. That’s the cosmos confirming you’re going to die prematurely in some grisly manner. Still, if you’re Q score is high enough to bone eighteen year old Kendall Jenner on a gratis package in New York, you’ve ought be wearing a shit-eating grin from ear to ear. You didn’t join a fucking boy band to make music, you sad mascara wearing sack. You’ve notched Taylor Swift and now Kendall Jenner. You’re one Madonna’s busty daughter away from an epic deflowering trifecta. They’ll sing songs about you, I mean, real singers who can sing actual notes. It’ll blow your mind. Now quit looking askance like you’ve got VD and act like a fucking king.
By Lex December 06, 2013 @ 7:14 PM
Taylor Swift’s prom-less minions may have figured out how to scare Victoria’s Secret into firing Jessica Hart for her disloyal comment about Taylor’s fat hips or whatever, but they couldn’t stop making her better looking than their pufferfish-faced liege. Somebody else already hired Jessica Hart to flash her ass and gap-toothed grin for the cameras. Which just goes to show, good looking women trump pudgy anonymous online sycophants some of the time.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet, PCN, INFphoto.com