Eazy-E Took It Like a Man and Sluts Don’t Walk Like They Used To on the Last Men on Earth Podcast #20 (AUDIO)

By Lex October 08, 2015 @ 2:15 PM

At the end of the day, it’s all about speaking truth to power. Your own version of the truth to whoever you designate as powerful. That’s the beauty of everybody deciding they work against the system. Everybody is the victim, nobody is the bully. Everybody is the outsider who can’t catch a break. Everybody has the tougher row to hoe. Except Matt and I. We are kind of dicks.

This week’s Last Men on Earth podcast performs a post mortem on Amber Rose’s SlutWalkLA, muses about just how much dick Eazy-E took up his dirt hole before tainted acupuncture needles felled him, and looks to the brave re-Tweeters of the Internet for advice on gun control. It’s all there if only you will listen.


Thanks to our primary sponsor at ThePornDude.com for making the show happen and also the after-party when we each retreat to our own computers and lock the door. Even Jesus masturbated. True fact.

Be sure to follow the show on TwitterFacebook, and on the LastMenonEarth.com. Also hit up iTunes and write something nice.

Ashley Benson’s Lion Problem And Shit Around The Web

By Jack October 08, 2015 @ 12:00 PM


Ashley Benson caught a lot of shit for dressing up like a sexy version of famous dead lion Cecil. You know what they say, dead pussy is better than no pussy at all. Sorry.

See what all the fucking fuss is about. (Last Men On Earth)

Who says nerd girls can’t be hot when they cosplay? (I Am Bored)

Lisa Opie wears a blue bikini in Miami because it’s her job. (Egotastic)

The douche Steve-O from Jackass is going to jail. In other news Steve-O is still alive. (TMZ)

Constance Jablonski models some tasty swimsuits. (Drunken Stepfather)

Bras are for quitters. (The Chive)

Holly Peers is a sexy devil in red lingerie. (Hollywood Tuna)

Cora Keegan Topless For Treats! Magazine

By Lex October 08, 2015 @ 11:12 AM

Cora Keegan Topless Delights For Treats!

Body shaming afflicts only the A-listers and the under employed who both have the luxury of self-serving victimization complexes. The girls in the middle trying to make the rent don’t have time for that nonsense. Like this chick cares if some Internet troll out a thousand points out a flaw in her body they will never ever fuck even with their successful cousin Stephen’s dick. People are generally less horrible than you think. But the horrible people are by far the loudest. If they have outstanding tits none of that really matters.

Photo Credit: Treats! Magazine

Do Not Go Down on The Stripper

By Lex October 08, 2015 @ 9:48 AM

I’m pretty unflappable when it comes to idiotic fraternity hazing rituals. When you agree to allow for an institution run entirely by 20-year old drunk boys named Scotty (that’s actually the dude’s name in the video so shut the fuck up) there is no effective off limits. There is no gross. There is no being appalled after the fact. As long as everybody wakes up not dead the next morning, it’s kosher.

Some fake Greek named fraternity got shut down at Indiana University which claims to be a real academic institution because a video leaked of them hazing their pledges in a group sex ritual that involved them forcing some poor drunk shmuck to perform oral sex on the professional party talent. Naturally, the University was horrified because they haven’t read the newspaper or the Internet for the past several decades.


The first rule of your culture of care ought to be, do not let your students go down on a paid sex worker. I could show you the augur smeared petri dish reasons why, but we can probably settle on common sense. Forcing somebody to get oral herpes in front of a group of dudes in their underwear seems like a bizarre way of forming lifelong fraternal bonds, but to each their own. This is the college experience. Why can’t I get a job again? Oh, that’s right. Occupy Wall Street!

Farrah Abraham DNA Not Flying Off the Shelf

By Lex October 08, 2015 @ 9:11 AM


According to Celebrity Gene, makers of fine liquid human DNA filled necklaces since whenever, the Farrah Abraham model wasn’t exactly moving. After four months on the market, not a single one had sold. Buying a pendant filled with a stranger’s genetic material seems like an odd purchase. Maybe Charles Manson freaks or Taylor Swift’s easily manipulated teens would find it provides some kind of comfort when totally alone in the universe, but porn star DNA is inherently icky. It’s like framing your bukkake.

Celebrity Gene claims that Farrah Abraham barely marketed the genetic necklace. In contrast, she spent tons of time pushing her adult sexy toys which just made people even more inclined not to buy her spooge jewelry. Abraham is crass and a liar, but she’s not stupid. She makes a healthy percentage off her molded assholes and vaginas. The creepy necklace proceeds go to charity. Celebrity Gene fired Abraham. Though legally they have the right to clone a dozen of her, have their way with them, then push them off a cliff. Best Christmas office party ever.

Photo credit: Getty Images

Joan Smalls Self-Censors

By Lex October 08, 2015 @ 8:04 AM

Joan Smalls Pasties Flash At Vogue Party
Joan Smalls, the surprisingly Puerto Rican fashion model, flashed her pasties covered nipple at a Vogue Party in Paris. Either she lost a bet or she’s reminding the world that models will suck you in between Camel draws in the back of taxis, but their nipples remain off limits on Instagram. Unevenly applied morality remains difficult to defend. Today, it cost us a nipple. Tomorrow… I can’t think of anything worse.

Here’s Joan Smalls topless from six weeks ago. Imagination is overrated.

Photo Credit: Instagram

Ashley Judd Was Harassed Hard

By Lex October 08, 2015 @ 6:38 AM


Ashley Judd has previously recalled stories of rape, molestations, and incest by unnamed adult males. She’s suing Twitter trolls for sexually lame attacks on her after a University of Kentucky sports tweet. Now she’s come out with a tale of illegal sexual harassment by an unnamed studio chief in the late 90′s. Judd claims she reveals these tales as they come back to her, in the name of providing empowering examples for other women. She doesn’t name any of the perpetrators which brings her threshold of proof down to zero. You can asses for yourself what it does to her credibility.

Ashley Judd describes how her Anon film executive harasser would constantly come on to her with trite little bits about grabbing a late meal up in his hotel room, or coming upstairs to help him pick out what to wear.  Basically, what every other guy has had to do to get women over to their place since Blockbuster went out of business. Then it got worse:

The ultimate thing when I was weaseling out of everything else was, ‘Will you watch me take a shower?’

In that moment, I told him something like, ‘When I win an Academy Award in one of your movies.’ He said, ‘No, when you get nominated.’ I said, ‘No, no, when I win an Academy Award.’ That was a small moment of power when I was able to contradict him and hold to my reality. And then I got out of there. And by the way, I’ve never been offered a movie by that studio. Ever.”

Well, that case seems open and shut. No man should compel a woman to hold her reality, let alone his towel while he showers. Though I’m not sure that’s exactly illegal. Just gross. Especially if he’s old and fat. If he’s young and handsome and successful, it’s a cute story to tell your friends after you get back from your honeymoon together.

Judd claims this same studio chief hit on tons of other women in Hollywood the exact same way. Did he not hire any of these actresses as well? Did he make only gay gladiator films? Why don’t you throw us a name every now and then so we can judge for ourselves. Also, while you’re at it, could you do my back? I’m kidding. Also, judgement proof.

Photo credit: Getty Images

Randy Quaid Deported And Shit Around The Web

By Jack October 07, 2015 @ 12:00 PM


Character actor and Santa Claus on meth look-a-like Randy Quaid is being detained by Canadian immigration. He lives in Montreal because he’s in deep legal trouble in the U.S. and crazy assholes are more readily accepted in Montreal.

When did he go batshit crazy? (TMZ)

Sylvie Meis in lingerie makes me Dutch drool. (Last Men On Earth)

Telenovela star Isabel Madow shows off her naked chichis. (Egotastic All-Stars)

Sienna Guillory has a good ‘ol fashioned nip slip. (Drunken Stepfather)

Lily Donaldson has some long legs and delicious cleavage. (Hollywood Tuna)

Hot girls on bikes has to be a fetish somewhere, right? (The Chive)

Newsflash: Kylie Jenner has a big fake butt. (Popoholic)