Porn Stars Back on the Beach

If you're a champion of pornography rights under the guise of civil rights, you're a liar. But you've signed up for a solid cause. Women who fuck on camera for their 9 to 5 are people too. The men, not so much. read more

Bar Refaeli Quickly Pregnant

Stories about supermodels being pregnant seem less immediate when you're quite certain you're not fucking supermodels. read more

Eminem's Daughter All Grown Up

Eminem's daughter Hailie Mathers turned twenty-one. The headline is how she's good looking, an earnest student at Michigan State, and appears to be troubled life free. read more

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Robert Blake and Pamela Hudak Seem Happy

It's wrong to assume that a woman only marries an elderly man for his creature comforts and amassed financial resources. Though it's true every single time. Think it on the inside, Johnny Full of Facts. read more

Amber Heard Humble Hero

Amber Heard recalls a crazy day seven years ago when she took the plunge and told an Ellen show website interviewer that she was bisexual. Obviously the reporter was also gay, as was everybody else within eight nautical miles of Ellen's re-imagined Isle of Lesbos luxury... read more

Hollywood Comes to the Rescue of Leggings Girls

You knew it would it would take some extraordinary turn of events to rip palatial living Twitter warriors away from their laser beams of 140 character anti-Trump truth. Done. read more

Demi Rose Not Without a Plan

This chick used to bang Tyga. That's the simplest way to express an entire character back story in one terse statement. Sexism doesn't happen in a vacuum. read more

Jon Gosselin Taking It All Off (VIDEO)

It was never clear what Jon Gosselin was doing to pay the rent after being booted by his baby mama and reality show in one fell swoop. Kate Gosselin was clearly the brains behind the child slave auction to TLC. read more

Hailey Baldwin Isn't Really Pissing

Hailey Baldwin is super famous model for reasons nobody can explain with a straight face. She's the fifth hottest girl in her family. Nobody's heard her speak. That's as close as you may come to unraveling the mystery. read more

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Ariana Grande Dick Bike

Every song Ariana Grande sings is a metaphor for getting fucked until she can't walk. You'd think with that literary premise her audience might be men who want to fuck her until she can't walk. read more

Chrissy Teigen Back to Drunk (VIDEO)

Chrissy Teigen used to be a fun drunk. That's how she made her bones. Posting ripped on Twitter after midnight and posting stupid shit. The kids call it speaking truth to power. read more

Shia LaBeouf Art Installation Can't Find a Home

Shia LaBeouf's living art project which consisted of a blank white wall and a camera that live streamed Shia and the occasional New York City College lesbian activist chanting "He Will Not Divide Us" has been shut down for the fourth time. read more