You Can Run, But You Can't Hide From the Mr. Skin $99 Lifetime Special

That big grey dude in the epically shitty new X-Men movie (spoiler alert) lived for a thousand generations. That seems like a long time. Especially without access to any decent pictures of naked mutant chicks. If only he'd have had a $99 Lifetime special membership to Mr. Skin.read more

Amber Heard Bruised Face Leaving Court

Just when you thought there was nothing left to the Johnny Depp and Amber Heard out of nowhere divorce filing, along comes Amber Heard with one a bruise on the right side of her face. Heard claims that Depp threw his iPhone at her over this past weekend. It's completely unsubstantiated and Depp's representatives are denying it, but if you close your eyes you can easily imagine Johnny Depp all pissy and throwing his...read more

Somebody's Baby Is Feeling Up Hannah Ferguson

Hannah Ferguson is a proud member of the Trump Modeling Agency. Donald Trump formed the outlet in New York after realizing running a modeling agency was the only thing better than being a billionaire for making hot young women weak in the knees. It bore him many good lays and a future Slovakian model third wife wife.read more

April Love Geary in A Bikini

April Love Geary posted a whole bunch of vacation photos of her tits and ass to remind the world why she gets to have Robin Thicke in his vests laying on top of her each night. It's like a quarterback showing off his college football championship rings after being traded to the Browns. We know you were once great.read more

Alessandra Ambrosio Has a Simple Strategy

Every media mention about Alessandra Ambrosio is related to what she's wearing or how great she looks. Living in Spandex is absolutely the way to go through life if you can get away with it. You'll be out of the lingerie game in five more years, but you'll have forty million American dollars buried in a cemetery in the hills outside your native city.read more

Kim Kardashian Sues Man For Being a Publicity Whore

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are preparing a legal suit against that bodyguard from the Met Gala who was fired on the spot by West for personally conversing with his porn star wife pre-event. Steve Stanilus took his pink slip and made forthwith to the Daily Mail for a tell all interview about Kim and Kanye. That violated Paragraph 1 of his signed NDA which states in 24 point Impact Bold font, shut the fuck up you...read more

Yvonne Strahovski Gets Her Bare Tits Adrien Brody Handled (VIDEO)

The genius of Mr. Skin, in addition to selling nothing but tits, as opposed to the Just Lamps or Just Tires, is a reminder of who used to get naked a lot in the movies. Like Anne Hathaway who is widely recognized as a high maintenance horrible Hollywood cunt, even though most of it is probably undeserved. She's close enough.read more

Sexual Consent Apps Have Landed

Because you laughed not long ago about how someday you'd need a signed Memorandum of Understanding from a woman before proceeding with any sexual activity, here they are. Numerous technology start ups are now working with colleges to develop apps for students to use to codify sexual consent in verbal or written form. They have cute positive names like Good2Go and Yes to Sex, but mostly they are giant boner killing...read more

Camila Morrone in A Bikini

Models now routinely maintain eponymous websites where they deliver health and fashion and lifestyle advice based on the fact that they're in their 20's and really good looking. You could waste a ton of tuition dollars and work training hours only to discover nobody gives a shit about your professional advice. Or you could just be pretty and tell everybody about dangerous sugars hidden in fruits and the best place to...read more

Sara Jean Underwood Has a Job

Sara Jean Underwood has a job. Collecting followers on social media by way of the best outdoor recreational photos ever produced. This is not the hiking you imagine when overweight customer service reps reflexively list it as a hobby on their online dating profiles. Being hot and having amazing tits has always been a way to earn, it's just never had it's own SIC code.read more

Corey Feldman Confirms Pedo Bear Alive and Doing Well in Hollywood

Earlier this week Elijah Wood noted the child acting business was overflowing with pedophiles who had assaulted the rectum of every kid in Hollywood not named Elijah Wood. That's the story I'd stick with too. Wood backed off his comments after a cadre of fifty-something men in Polanski masks circled him at Whole Foods and asked him if he'd like to keep working.read more

Rihanna Nipples Hard for Sneaker Dollars

Rihanna celebrated the release of her third round of marked up sneakers by walking around Manhattan showing off her panties and nipples. They're Pumas with thick rubber soles called "creepers" because that sounds better than "we ripped off Vans and nobody gives a shit".read more

Amber Heard and Johnny Depp Lasted More Than a Year

Amber Heard filed for divorce from Johnny Depp. They were married for fifteen months. Enough time for nine different celebrity magazine cover stories about their fabulous love affair. Heard cited irreconcilable difference. Most notably she's a thirty year old lesbian and he's a a fifty-two year old who mumbles incoherently.read more

Mr. Skin For A Lifetime, It's Ninety-Nine Bucks, That Seems Sweet

I'm not sure what happens when you die, but presumably unless you're famous, they're never going to notice. You can pass this shit onto your children and grandchildren on down the line. In 2237, some perfected version of you can be checking out naked celebrity chicks off that same ninety-nine bucks. Now that's a bargain.read more

Kelly Osbourne Burns Her Dad's Hairdresser

When you desperately need to be in the news, you can't go wrong with outing the hair dresser who let your dad rub his flaccid cock up against her smock after a blow out.read more