is Scarlett Johansson engaged?

By brendon February 20, 2013 @ 6:43 PM

scarlett_johansson_engagagment_ring

If this were your local news, I could say, “Is Scarlett Johansson engaged, and is there a connection to Natalie Holloway killer Joran van der Sloot?” And then 20 minutes later I’d say I have no idea about either one of those things but Scarlet was wearing some kind of ring in New York. Local news can honestly go fuck itself.

(images of scarlett and her french journalist boyfriend romain dauriac = inf)

Lindsay borrowed this $1750 dress, immediately destroyed it

By brendon February 20, 2013 @ 6:16 PM

wenn2011

If your grandmother were here she would say, “no good deed goes unpunished”, because Lindsay Lohan was all over town last week, desperate to borrow a fancy dress for the amFAR gala, and was only successful when Charlie Sheen arranged for celebrity stylist Phillip Bloch to loan her one. And it was beautiful; a beaded full-length gown from Hollywood favorite Theia worth $1750.

But of course this is a Lindsay Lohan story, so, naturally, within a matter of hours, she was in a bar with a pair of scissors cutting the gown in half.

“She said that the dress had ripped (and) she couldn’t possibly wear it like that — so her stylist friend went to the club bouncer and requested some scissors to repair the torn part of the dress,” a source tells Us Weekly. “But what bouncer has scissors?”

Wouldn’t it be amazing if one day you woke up and read a story where Lindsay Lohan wasn’t a complete cunt? I think my legs would kick out and my hat would pop off my head like in cartoons.

this might be why Alec Baldwin is always so cranky

By brendon February 20, 2013 @ 2:50 PM

ireland_baldwin_new_orleans

I’m not even gonna google how old Ireland Baldwin is now because I doubt I want the answer, but the daughter of Kim Basinger and Alec Baldwin flew in to New Orleans last night, and if my daughter looked like this I’d probably be on edge all the time just like Alec.

Obviously every parent wants an attractive child, and if it’s a girl they want her to be pretty but Jesus Christ let’s not get carried away. Not THIS hot. A solid 8 that’s funny would be fine. Not some skinny blonde that literally hundreds of dudes will try to drug and rape. And that’s just while she’s in the New Orleans airport.

(image source = pacific coast)

this is the nicest possible Cameron Diaz headline

By brendon February 20, 2013 @ 1:33 PM

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I don’t get why the Huffington Post is so surprised, because the less someone looks like Cameron Diaz, the better. Would they prefer this? If I were that magazine I would have just used a picture of Kate Upton and then claimed it was some kind of mix-up, because Cameron Diaz looks like her parents are Uma Thurman and one of those old mangled trees.

(image source – interview magazine, getty)

Jessica Simpson is naming her kid…

By brendon February 20, 2013 @ 12:42 PM

jessica_simpson_cleavage

Ace! The kids name will be Ace Johnson!

An unlike her daughter Maxwell, who just sounds like a boy, Ace Johnson will actually be a boy, assuming that last months rumor was true.

“[She's] told people she’s going to name the baby Ace!” the source told Us.com. Simpson, 32, is already mom to 10-month-old daughter Maxwell. The singer hasn’t yet revealed how she and Johnson, 33, decided upon the name, however.

How they decided on the name is by asking, “what’s fucking awesome?” It’s a nick-name actual men call each other that they’re making a real name! That’s bad ass! It would be like if a black couple named their kid My Nigga. If they have another son his name should be Tough Guy.

(image source = fame/flynet)

Christina Ricci is still underrated

By brendon February 19, 2013 @ 6:05 PM

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If you had to describe Christina Ricci to someone who had never seen her, I admit it might sound a little disastrous, but in real life, when you put everything together, she’s just awesome. She’s not pretty, might even be a little weird, but god I cannot get over how badly I wanna have sex with her.

These are not lines I would use to try and hit on her if I were you, by the way.

(image source of ricci at the marc jacobs show = getty)