BREAKING NEWS: Rihanna smokes weed

By brendon February 15, 2013 @ 2:42 PM

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Rihanna is a 24-year-old from Barbados, who sings dance and pop music with a lot of hip-hop and who dates abusive dickhead Chris Brown, so it will probably shock you to learn that, according to her twitter, she smokes weed. I know, right?!? Just when you think you know someone, suddenly something like this just comes out of left field.

(image source of rihanna last night = fame/flynet)

Jennifer Love Hewitt thinks shes getting married again

By brendon February 14, 2013 @ 4:54 PM

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Anxious to prove she hasn’t learned a single thing about how her palpable desperation scares away every guy she ever dates, Jennifer Love Hewitt has asked her boyfriend and “Client List” co-star, Brian Hallisay, to move in with her.

“Jennifer has totally flipped for Brian,” a longtime friend told The ENQUIRER. “She firmly believes he’s ‘the one’ and she’s determined not to let him get away.
“She said, ‘I want to wake up next to him every day! So I told him he should just move in!’”
“Jennifer has a history of falling for many of her male co-stars,” said another source. “The problem is that things usually fall apart for her just when the relationships start getting serious. But she really believes that, with Brian, things are going to be different this time around.”

In a related story, Jennifer Love Hewitt now lives in a 40-story stone column with only one window at the very top and the whole thing is surrounded by a moat filled with crocodiles.

Celebrity Wife Swap: Kendra Wilkinson vs Kate Gosselin

By brendon February 14, 2013 @ 4:30 PM

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Here’s everything you need to know about what a mean desperate fame whore Kate Gosselin is: she and Kendra Wilkinson are going on a show called ‘Celebrity Wife Swap’. That title promises three things, and Kate can’t deliver on any of them. She’s not famous, not married, and is “swapping” her 8 unsupervised kids and debt for a week in Kendras NFL mansion.

Us.com says…

ABC announced Wednesday that Gosselin, 37, and Wilkinson, 27, will be the first stars to appear on the new season of the reality series on Feb. 26. On Celebrity Wife Swap, stars switch lifestyles, children and homes for one week to experience another celebrity’s life.
Gosselin will get to stay with Wilkinson’s husband, former NFL wide receiver Hank Baskett, and their son Hank, 3, while Wilkinson will become a single mother of eight kids whom Gosselin shares with ex-husband Jon.

An even better idea for a show would be, instead of Kendra, find a big mean bear who just had babies, then blindfold Kate and set her down in the woods directly between the mom and her cubs. Talk about drama!

(image source = splash. and i know they’re a few years old but they’re here to prove a point, and that is that i really like kendras ass)

news anchor Lisa Dutton is inappropiate

By brendon February 14, 2013 @ 3:26 PM

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I can’t tell what anyone is saying because this is either from Canada or Minnesota, but morning news anchor Lisa Dutton was telling some story about something, based on her accent I assume it involved some combination of mooses and beer, but then just did the universal sign for blowjob for about 10 seconds.

So in hindsight hopefully the story was about beer.








Lady Gaga cancels her entire tour

By brendon February 14, 2013 @ 2:38 PM

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Yesterday, Lady Gaga cancelled her next 4 concert dates because of a hip injury that kept her from walking. Not “hip” as in the way the young people of today use the word, but her actual hip bone.

Now Rolling Stone says she needs surgery and her entire tour will be canceled, all 21 of the remaining dates, which will not effect me or anyone I know in any way.

Gaga has a labral tear of the right hip, which will require an operation “followed by strict downtime to recover.” The condition affects the ring of soft tissue lining the outside rim of the hip socket. 

So, a few months ago, Gaga gained a bunch of weight and now she’s hurt herself from all the jumping around. This might be why the words “surgery” and “sugary” are practically identical.

Mila Kunis looks thrilled about her ‘Oz’ movie

By brendon February 14, 2013 @ 12:37 PM

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I’ve been on enough first dates to recognize when a girl is bored and disinterested, which is exactly how Mila Kunis looked last night at the Hollywood premiere of ‘Oz: The Great and Powerful’. It’s not as if I just went through and picked out the pictures where she wasn’t smiling, and even though that’s not true, and I did in fact do that exact thing, there are STILL a lot of pictures here where she looks like she has no interest in this whatsoever.

So a half-truth is good enough. At least according to my girlfriend, who swore she didn’t have sex with “a guy” when she went to Miami last week.

(image source = getty)