Ke$ha drinks her own urine

By brendon February 13, 2013 @ 5:19 PM

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And yet this somehow isn’t even the weirdest story we’ve heard about Ke$ha. But, whatever, the New Zealand Herald says…

‘Ke$ha: My Crazy Beautiful Life’ is scheduled to premiere in the US on MTV in April (and she) says viewers can expect some strange things.
“It’s my brother and his weird friend following me around for the past 2 years. We didn’t know what we were doing per se, but it’s my little brother and he’s my best friend. He’s got me wasted at 6am … He got all the things you would want to see and all the things you wouldn’t really want to see – making out with dudes, drinking my own pee, jumping out of a building, jumping out of planes, swimming with sharks…”
“I was told drinking my own pee was good, I was trying to be healthy … Somebody tried to take my pee away from me and I said, ‘That is mine!’ So I snatched it up and took a chug and it was really gross so I don’t do it anymore.”

Oh, so she only drank her urine because someone tried to take it from her. Ok. See, now that I’ve heard the whole story in context it makes more sense.

(image source = fame/flynet)

sorry Kate Upton. Not gonna happen.

By brendon February 13, 2013 @ 4:58 PM

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Kate Upton is doing her best to promote her second cover for the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, and she looks great doing it, but there’s no way anyone really goes out and buys a copy of this, is there? Any kid under 12 hacked Time Warner and set up a real-time live-feed from the actual photoshoots 4 months ago, and any adult looks like a lonely pervert. Every ad in this thing must be for lube and eHarmony.

(image source of kate last night in new york = getty, wenn)

Steve Martin a dad for the first time at age 67

By brendon February 13, 2013 @ 4:37 PM

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You probably got the gist of this from the headline but Steve Martin, who is 67, had a child for the first time with his wife Anne Stringfield, who is 41. Page Six says…

“They’ve had a baby, and how they kept it a secret nobody knows,” a source said. “Steve’s very private.” The source added, “They are thrilled. They worked hard to have the baby.” The couple married in 2007 at Martin’s home in a surprise ceremony where guests, including Tom Hanks and Diane Keaton were told it was a party.

I know it’s not cool but I still like Steve Martin and admire the way he tries to live a normal life. If this “secret baby” story was about some bitch like Jennifer Lopez, the “hard work” would be about the tour or movie the pregnancy interfered with, and the private “ceremony” would have less cake and celebrity guests.

Lindsay Lohans still got it

By brendon February 13, 2013 @ 4:20 PM

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A regimen of cocaine, cigarettes, no sleep and random semen is pretty much the exact opposite of the fountain of youth, as you can tell because Lindsay Lohan is 26 (younger, for example, than Olivia Wilde, 28, Natalie Portman, 31, Anne Hathaway, 30, or Amanda Seyfried, 27) and she looked awful at the amFAR gala in New York.

Their slogan is “Making AIDS History”. Do they mean that you can have it yet still be puffy and bloated? Because if so, mission accomplished.

James Franco is a natural at deep throat

By brendon February 13, 2013 @ 3:29 PM

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I’m not homophobic at all, in any way, except in the sense that seeing two guys in a sexual situation might make me throw up. I know that’s probably bad but I can’t help it. I support gay rights in every way, I despise pussies who bully gay kids, but male gay sex really freaks me out. It’s not as awful as ‘Girls’ on HBO, but it’s close.

Point being, if I stumbled upon the fact that I had a natural talent for deep throating things, here’s how I’d handle it:

1. Tell no one; take it to my grave.

Here’s how James Franco handled the same thing:

1. Tell literally the entire world. Or at least the 10 people who even know Details magazine still exists.

In the first of several three-ways, Franco performs some very impressive deep throat on two of his character’s pistols after the girls turn the tables on him and shove them in his mouth.
“Most people can’t get past that gag reflex at the back of the throat,” I say.
“Guess I’m a natural,” he says with a laugh. “It was my first time.”
“So that wasn’t you in Broken Tower (deep-throating a dildo)?”
“Oh shit, you’re right!” Franco’s eyes light up. “It wasn’t my first time.”
“You’re known for going the extra mile, but that was, what, a good eight inches?”
He gives me a get-real look. “That was a dildo.” Then he turns that look back on himself, and I see the real James Franco: “If I’d had the guts, it woulda been real.”

I on the other hand am so insecure that if a doctor tried to save my life by putting an intubator down my throat I’d push his hand away and my last words on earth would be, “knock it off… fag.”

Lady Gaga postpones 4 concerts becuase she cant walk

By brendon February 13, 2013 @ 10:07 AM

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Lady Gaga, who last year pushed herself around stage in a wheelchair during a concert in Sydney, has had to postpone her next 4 concerts because of “synovitis, a severe inflammation of the joints”, making it painful for her to walk. If only blind piano player Ray Charles were still around to console her during her time of need.