Over the weekend it was learned that Kate Upton would be on the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue for the second year in a row after a cellphone copy of the cover showed up online. But now even more pictures have arrived. It’s like Christmas, except not made up and there’s actual proof that Kate Upton exists. My erection, for one.
UNSEXY UPDATE - there’s no way to sugarcoat this: sports illustrated is freaking out about those pictures and will only let me post these. all happiness and joy are gone.
It would be a lot easier to call Jamie Foxx a jackass if he weren’t so god damn good in ‘Djangio Unchained’, but Jamie Foxx is a jackass anyway for what he said at the NAACP Awards.
As he accepted the Entertainer of the Year Award, he praised other luminaries such as Harry Belafonte and Sidney Poitier, saying that he was humbled by the amazing people he shared the stage with.
‘Black people are the most talented people in the world. I, it’s, I can’t explain it,’ Foxx said. ‘You can’t sit in this room and not watch Gladys Knight sing and go like, “Golly, what in the world?”’
Keep in mind that making this about race was Jamie’s idea, not mine, but yeah, “talent”. That must be why all the African countries and black neighborhoods are such fantastic utopias. Lagos, the second biggest city in Africa, is totally the same as Berlin and Seoul and London. They even hope to have a train one day. Imagine that! It’s the world of tomorrow, today! Well, I mean, actually it’s still tomorrow because they don’t have one yet but you get the idea.
Only Kate Upton and Alessandra Aambrosio are hot enough to make that work (in Alessandras case because she’s the worlds most perfect woman, her shirt is see-through, and she sticks her tongue out), but as God as my witness if I keep seeing this weirdo pervert waste hot models with this exact same thing, he’ll be the one lined up in front of a wall right before I shoot him.
It should go without saying that I didn’t watch Taylor Swift sing “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” at the Grammys last night, so I’m just taking Us magazines word for it when they say she’s acting like the entire god damn world is her facebook page again…
…and (Swift) took a jab at her British ex (Harry Styles of the band ‘One Direction’).
“So he calls me up and he’s like, ‘I still love you,’ and I’m like, ‘I’m sorry, I’m busy opening up the Grammys,’” she deadpanned in the middle of her song, using a British accent at an obvious nod toward Styles. “And we’re never getting back together, like, ever.”
2. What the hell is the point of this song anyway? Because none of the guys she writes about ever try to get back together. Quite the opposite, in fact. They just run; they don’t even stop to tweet. They don’t hope to get back together just like they don’t wish the guy who hit them with his car would back over them too.
It still ranks way behind other things he’s done at the Grammy Awards, but Chris Brown once again showed what a classless dick he is by refusing to stand after Frank Ocean made his way to the stage to accept the award for Best Urban Contemporary Album, an award Brown was also nominated for (that’s him dressed all in white, like a child magician).
And Brown should have even been in a good mood because Rihanna was his date. And she looked terrific.
Of course, as we know, looking good at the beginning of a date with Chris Brown is the easy part. It’s looking good at the end where things get dicey.
Award shows are all dumb because taste is subjective but the Grammy Awards are extra dumb because they’ve given Taylor Swift 7 of the fucking things. So all we can really hope for is that Katy Perry wears something that shows off her tits (she did!) and that Lindsay Lohan does something embarrassing (she did not).
But that’s only because she wasn’t there. At this point there could be a Lindsay Lohan Awards with a Best Lindsay Lohan category and she wouldn’t even be invited to that.