Khloe Kardashian Posts Nude Ass Shot

December 21, 2015 | celebrity | colin| 0 Comments

The upside of Kardashian sibling rivalry is its singular focus on being fuckable by popular black male entertainers. Kimmy never came home with a 96 on her geometry exam setting off fits of academic testing jealousy. Kourtney wasn’t going to nail that medical breakthrough threatening the relatively lackluster contributions to society by her sisters. How round is […]

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Ashley Benson’s Lion Problem And Shit Around The Web

October 8, 2015 | crap around the web | colin| 0 Comments

Ashley Benson caught a lot of shit for dressing up like a sexy version of famous dead lion Cecil. You know what they say, dead pussy is better than no pussy at all. Sorry. See what all the fucking fuss is about. (Last Men On Earth) Who says nerd girls can’t be hot when they cosplay? […]

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Charlize Theron Reliving History

April 9, 2015 | celebrity | colin| 0 Comments

Reporters feel obliged to ask actors about how they personally relate to the character in their current movie and actors feel obliged to make up some bullshit answer. Everybody has to pretend that making movies is not simply pretend. That would make both sides seem slightly less important. For her new movie about a girl […]

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Candice Swanepoel Makes Peens Happy And Shit Around The Web

March 10, 2015 | crap around the web | colin| 0 Comments

Candice Swanepoel was created in heaven as a test of wills between your nutsack and  your cranium. If you think you’re getting into her panties, your nutsack is currently winning. Prepare to arm your chubbie, it’s Swanepoel in skimpy lingerie. (Egotastic) Why don’t you give that underwear a little tug? (The Chive) How good does […]

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Rose McGowan Can’t Be Topless Enough

November 25, 2014 | celebrity | colin| 0 Comments

I’m not sure if Rose McGowan made a bet with a friend who she’s just the only go-to named actress in Hollywood who will flash her bare cans for a reasonable rate, but she seems to be topless in half the style and arts magazines this month. I could explain how Rose is ten times […]

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Lindsay Lohan Pays Truck Driver She Smashed Into

September 2, 2014 | Uncategorized | colin| 0 Comments

Remember when Lindsay Lohan used to be drunk and high and drive her car into other people? Those were good times. A couple years ago she totaled her Porsche into the side of a truck she thought was just a figment of her imagination. At the time, Lindsay convinced her assistant to tell the cops […]

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#asssscap

July 15, 2014 | celebrity | colin| 0 Comments

Khloe’s new boyfriend posted an Instagram photo of her Mothra egg shaped cans with the hashtag #asssscap. I can only imagine the look of pride on his face when he invented that hashtag. If any girl on Twitter sobbed to Khloe about her boyfriend posting her body part pictures online, Khloe would’ve bounced into action […]

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Katy Perry Got Too Much Miley Tongue

March 6, 2014 | Uncategorized | colin| 0 Comments

Katy Perry knows this cheeky sexualized pop star act is just a bit. You do the Kissed a Girl thing and get half naked in your music videos because it sells records. Then you go home and slap on your fat girl sweatpants eat a pound of olive loaf while watching Hoda and Kathie Lee. […]

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Judge Sentences Justin Bieber to Death!

January 24, 2014 | celebrity | colin| 0 Comments

Justin Bieber faced the judge in Miami this morning after his DUI and expired license and street racing arrest and the judge gave him… $2500 bond. It was beyond exciting. CNN landed a helicopter on the courthouse rooftop with thirty-seven television reporters to cover the Justin Bieber arrest after somebody at Time Warner noticed that […]

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Correction of David Copperfied Story

January 14, 2014 | site news | colin| 0 Comments

Last week we posted a satirical commentary making light of David Copperfield’s upcoming nuptials with an irreverent aside to a past allegation against the well known magician. The fact is, that criminal allegation has been completely discounted and dismissed by the authorities. If you are interested, you can read details on the case HERE. In […]

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