Melanie Martinez Licks Ladies Without Consent

Theres a thesis in my social circle that states women with colorful hair are automatically crazy. A woman named Timothy with teal hair is claiming she was raped by a woman who clearly publicly appeals to pedophiles to sell records. read more

Manly Pecking During Exorcist Made Internet Upset

While homosexual characters on television have become the norm two men kissing still doesn’t flow as fluidly as it would if it were two women playing a pick up game of tonsil hockey.  read more

Katharine McPhee Kicked Out After Wedding Crash

Katharine McPhee was recently reminded that she is in fact not Katy Perry. Showing up uninvited to a wedding got her tossed out. And nothing burns more than when a person of pedestrian caliber kicks a “star” out of their personal celebration.  read more

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Nick Carter Defended And Forgiven For Rape

When Nick Carter of the Backstreet Boys was accused of raping a woman I was confused. Anyone in a boyband is presumed to be an undercover homosexual until proven otherwise.  read more

Chloë Grace Moretz’s Sought Protection From Stalker

Stalkers are increasingly getting lazier year by year. Long gone are the glory days of stalking hot women worth going to jail over. Now men are willing to risk it all for females like Chloë Grace Moretz.  read more

School Shootings Experiencing Gender Equality

In High school a girl's main focus is mostly boys, not guns and revenge. My guess is this was an attempt to get out of a test that she didn’t study for taken too far. read more

Farrah Abraham Fired Because She Sucks At Being Slutty

Unfortunately for the world of fap Farrah Abraham is completely withdrawing from the promiscuous life she once led. Maybe this will lead to her finding the much need morality that went missing after becoming America’s favorite MTV milf. read more

Scarlett Johansson Dealing Well With Wife Demotion To Baby Momma

Scarlett Johansson is always teetering on the edge of permanently being old news. If it weren’t for her eccentric romantic antics she would be banished to the realm of no one cares never to return again.  read more

And The Meek Shall Inherent The Worth

There’s a number of things I would do for an opportunity to marry a woman with what is virtually considered an endless amount money. Divorcing my wife of eight years is easily on the top of that list. read more

Russell Simmons Removed From Businesses

Any man with millions of dollars giving advice from a downward-facing dog position is not to be trusted. Russell Simmons is an opportunist.  read more

The Simpsons Losing Apu Character To Social Justice

Too many people have too much time on their hands. Nitpicking at everything in the past and incessantly searching for something to be offended by.  read more

Justin Bieber Bodyguard Busted On DUI

The first rule of driving drunk is don’t do it. The next rule if you’re into taking risks is don’t crash into cops. But Justin Beiber’s bodyguard, Michael Arana, is someone that is not to be outdone.  read more