Melanie Griffith Auctioned Off Her Asset To An Unwilling Alec Baldwin

December 6, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Melanie Griffith, in her current state of wrinkles, is one of the last 60 plus women that I would want laying on top of me after one too many hot toddys at the group home. Christmas may be coming,... READ MORE

Gwyneth Paltrow Wants Instructions On How To Be A Stepmother

December 6, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

I don’t blame Gwyneth Paltrow for being hesitant about mixing broods with hubby Brad Falchuk. He probably doesn’t even fully accept her favorite child, Goop. She claims she’s having a hard time adjusting to stepmotherhood because she’s never done... READ MORE

Sarah Hyland Backlash After Asking For Death Donations

December 5, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Sarah Hyland has a net worth somewhere in the millions. She gets paid an absurd amount of money per episode of Modern Family. But even with all of the money she’s raking in, she’s having a hard time shelling... READ MORE

Katie Holmes Won Tom Cruise With A Wife Audition

December 5, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

In addition to Katie Holmes auditioning for movie roles, she also had to audition to become Tom Cruise’s wife. It’s probably the only casting couch MeToo turned marriage on record. It must have been difficult for Katie to jump... READ MORE

Cardi B Skips Court Because She’s Famous

December 4, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Cardi B has clearly forgotten her roots after finding fame. The same woman who once had intoxicated men ever so eloquently lodge legal tender between her buttcheeks now thinks she’s too good to show up for court. Cardi B... READ MORE

Melissa Joan Hart Up For A Reboot And Being Really Naughty

December 3, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

When Melissa Joan Hart’s husband isn’t home to smell the scent of his lover wrapped in warm latex, he’s receiving dirty GIFs because normal sexting is so last season. Whatever happened to women sending pictures of themselves with whip... READ MORE

Amy Schumer Is Making Attire For The Bigger Woman

December 3, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

I’m not that deep. Usually when I get a gut feeling it means I have to fart. I’m not trying to find any hidden meanings behind the things certain celebrities do. If everyone was more straightforward, this world would... READ MORE

Megan Fox Is Making Archeology Great Again

December 1, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

My two biggest fears in life happen to be pooping in a public place before checking if there’s enough toilet paper and a Megan Fox come back. Both very shitty scenarios. I live life with low expectations. It’s the... READ MORE

Adam Levine Livid About Maroon 5’s Fall From Grace

November 29, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Maroon 5 is past their salad days and Adam Levine is looking for someone to blame. The band’s most recent music has a feature from Cardi B. Cardi B! And Adam actually has the audacity to wonder where the... READ MORE

Kit Harignton Allegedly Caught Naked And Unfaithful With Russian Model

November 29, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

It seems Kit Harington has a hard time keeping his hands to himself around Russian whores. He hasn’t been married to his ginger for a full year yet and he’s already rummaging through the rumps of bottom barrel reality... READ MORE