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Heather Locklear Is A Cop Loving Law Abiding Citizen; Just Kidding

April 16, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Heather Locklear was married to Tommy Lee at one point in her life so she isn’t above rockstar behavior. At 56 years of age her highlights include driving a Porsche into a ditch and beating her boyfriend as well... READ MORE

Priyanka Chopra Possibly Born To Brown

April 16, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

The only Chopra whose existence I acknowledge is Deepak. Because when you start paying attention to the others you open the door for diva behavior from someone who most likely won’t stay around long. I’m starting to think that... READ MORE

Kendall Jenner Nipple Inspiration

April 16, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Does your significant other have unsightly nipples? Maybe those innies make you cringe. Or areoles the size of IHOP pancakes are deal breakers for you. No longer will you need to fear staring at your old lady’s enormous lopsided... READ MORE

Patti LuPone Pooping On Uma Thurman’s Broadway Performance

April 15, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Women don’t really stick together outside of metoo related incidents or other similar instances that allow them the opportunity to unitedly shame men. It’s completely fine for women to be cunts to each other, just as long as the... READ MORE

22 Year Old Sophie Turner Putting Work Before Her Wedding

April 14, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

If we needed any further confirmation that Joe Jonas never owned pants in his relationship with Sophie Turner, this is it. Most women typically consider marriage, sandwich meat selection, and giving birth as their greatest achievements. Not Turner, she’s... READ MORE

Moby Mad At The Poor

April 14, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

If you’re the kind of man to openly enjoy Moby’s music in front of other people I’m going to assume you also enjoy rubbing mustaches together with other men. Real men listen to Porcelain in the privacy of their... READ MORE

All Anna Faris Wanted Was Bigger Boobs

April 13, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Whenever a woman doesn’t feel good about herself shopping or being superficial helps. It’s even better when you can combine the two and shop for new boobs. A-cup Anna Faris suffered from chubby boy chest most of her life.... READ MORE

Amber Heard Is Psychotic But Also Generous

April 13, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Amber Heard contributed to Johnny Depp’s downfall. She walked away with a $7 million settlement, his sanity, and some furniture. Then she proceeded to slide in-between Elon Musk’s arms right after. But then for some reason, she had an... READ MORE

Tommy Lee Not Such A Scumbag After All

April 12, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

It’s a bittersweet moment for any son when they finally figure out that their father is Tommy Lee. Yes, you have access to a residual of stashed cash that wasn’t squandered away on drinking and drugs but you also... READ MORE

Sandra Oh Playing The Race Ace She Had Up Her Sleeve

April 12, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

An alleged lack of Asian representation in the media has been an argument that’s been around for quite some time. If you believe there aren’t enough Asians in media I’m going to say you aren’t looking hard enough. There... READ MORE

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