Jessica Simpson Bares Booty For Husbands Birthday

September 21, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Jessica Simpson just turned 37 not too long ago. But she’s decided to go out with a bang before committing the remainder of her existence playing Bingo and eating canned cat food on purpose.

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Shailene Woodley Doesn’t Have a TV, Is Better Than You

September 20, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Shailene Woodley is a voluntary vagabond. She gave her house to her grandma and chose to live a bare minimum minimalist lifestyle. All of her worldly belongings are able to fit in a suitcase. Which goes against the exact... READ MORE

Netflix Narcos Scout Possibly Slain By Sicario

September 20, 2017 | crap around the web | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Netflix is second runner-up behind alcohol in unexpected pregnancy. And they're seriously willing to risk it all on their original programming. Even if that means a location scout has to die so your chances of getting laid are increased... READ MORE

Leah Remini Snitches On Jada Pinkett Smith’s Scientology Status

September 20, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Family is forever. So snitching on your sister about her psychotic Scientology beliefs should be expected. Blood in blood out. Scientology was clearly the tax free answer to the Illuminati.

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Heather Locklear Didn’t Dodge Ditch But Ducks Criminal Charges For Car Crash

September 19, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Heather Locklear has stepped up her personal attention grab game with a sympathy seeking post for a car crash that was all her fault. 

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Kevin Hart Didn’t Delete the Evidence

September 19, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Being called out for sex crimes in the war to establish gender privilege dominance can be distracting for a man. Not literal sex crimes that fall under rape. But sex crimes like infidelity that would be made illegal by... READ MORE

Jerry Sandusky’s Son a Chip Off the Old Block

September 19, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Apparently rape and pedophilia runs in the family when you're a Sandusky. It looks like Jeffrey Sandusky was attempted to beat his dad's record when he pleaded guilty to 12 felony counts related to child sex abuse. Like father... READ MORE

Katy Perry Supports Foreign White Wash

September 18, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Foreign commercials often encounter conundrums when crossing cultural boundaries to expand product exposure. Remember that Chinese commercial that washed a black guy white? That's only okay in America if you're the King of Pop. Or a king of pedophiles.

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Paula Abdul’s Problem With The Lakers

September 18, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

The Los Angeles Lakers decided to celebrate the dying franchise by retiring Kobe Bryant's jersey numbers. Pre-rape and post-rape. But Paula Abdul's problem is wondering why her jersey isn't up there next to the Black Mamba's. 

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Jennifer Lawrence Taking A Hiatus

September 18, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Maybe Jennifer Lawrence's roll in Mother! took a lot out of her. Having your boyfriend also be your boss is stressful. 

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