Kris Jenner Still Dropping The Simpsons

For those who admire people who use all the tools in the tool shed, behold the vapid apparatus known as Kris Jenner. Or as People refers to her, America's favorite momager. And so they shall continue to do so if they want access to those adorable grandkid photos.   read more

Rihanna Fucking Rich

It took several hours for the Internet to uncover the name of the dude seen making out with Rihanna in a pool in Spain. That provided a ton of speculation for people who are consumed with the love lives of people more romantically successful than themselves. read more

Danielle Bregoli Pleads Guilty

Danielle Bregoli, who has been fourteen with fake tits for the past five years, copped to some fairly serious charges in juvenile court in Florida, where she simply had to be from.   read more

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Kylie Jenner's Boyfriend Caught Banging Ten Other Chicks

There's a point at which cheating becomes somewhat impressive. Like when you're caught fucking twins. Or banging ten other women your girlfriend or wife doesn't know about. Both rappers. Go figure.   read more

Michelle Rodriguez Girl Power Move

Michelle Rodriguez has made herself a mini fortune portraying a tough chick in a wife beater in various movies where she has to snarl but look feminine enough to fuck the leading man. Trick of the trade onscreen. Offscreen she's fucking the leading lady.    read more

Miranda Kerr Accepts Gifts Graciously

Miranda Kerr is the latest celebrity forced to hand over wildly expensive gifts sent by Jho Low, one of the shady investors working with the Malaysian Prime Minister to funnel billions away from the nation's economic development fund. Low is the same guy who sent Picasso... read more

Kate Beckinsale Rebound Boy Sex With Actual Boy

Doing well is the best revenge. Trite, but true. In terms of broken relationships, that means fucking somebody younger, hotter, and more socially relevant than whoever broke your heart.  read more

Taylor Swift Comes Out of Hiding With Cringe-Worthy Westbrook Congrats (VIDEO)

Taylor Swift has been in hiding since earlier this year. Some say she's locked down in her candy factory after too much public attention nearly ruined her chocolate. Others suggest long term esthetician treatments and slapping her boyfriend's hand away from her adorable... read more

Demi Moore New Teeth Are Biting Back

There's a quiet confidence a woman gains when her meth teeth are fixed. Watch Orange is the New Black for a dramatized example. Though skip the ninety-four percent about oppressive prison conditions for the underclass. It's not as broadly humorous as it used to be. Demi... read more

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CNN Retracts

Journalism as an honest trade is largely dead. Major news outlets are either driven by partisan ideology or the broader issue of being underfunded and understaffed as all the eyeballs and money move toward entertainment. The money always was in entertainment, but... read more

Salma Hayek Finds Outer Beauty in Herself

There's one rule related to Hollywood women who speak or host seminars denouncing the industry patriarchy: they will be naked in selfies within three weeks. Women can be both strong and beautiful. Or, opportunistic and vain, depending on how you frame the very same... read more

DeMario Jackson Crying a Ton

Nothing worse than being accused of sex with a chick too drunk to give consent when you're simply going down on a regular old drunk chick on camera in Mexico. One is shabby and tawdry and reeks of desperation, while the other is a crime. Though not specifically in Mexico... read more