Kathy Griffin Bare Naked Validation

April 14, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Fans of Kathy Griffin fall into two categories: gay or Kathy Griffin. The 56-year-old comedian took the Lady Gaga route by pandering her shtick to a subset of people with limited options.

READ MORE

In Death, There Is Cash Money (Sounds Cooler in Latin)

April 13, 2017 | News | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Spike TV is releasing a Heath Ledger documentary on May 17th. I Am Heath Ledger uses behind-the-scenes footage of the actor taken years before his multiple meds cocktail overdose in 2008. This will serve as “Ledger’s final gift to his now 11-year-old daughter.”

READ MORE

Pink Milk Bags On Instagram

April 13, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Pink shared a breastfeeding picture on Instagram. The 37-year-old is an advocate for public milking. Older moms with social media followings are the only ones who give a shit about public breastfeeding.

READ MORE

Heidi Montag With Child

April 12, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt would eat a litter of puppies if they thought it would land them a sentence in Parade Magazine. Instead, they’re having a kid.

READ MORE

Melania Trump Declared Not A Prostitute

April 12, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

The Daily Mail must pay $2.9M in damages after claiming that Melania Trump operated as a dick servicing station before marrying Donald Trump. During and after remain in question. 

READ MORE

Kate Beckinsale Biological Anomaly

April 11, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Kate Beckinsale flaunts her body in a trio of new Instagram pictures. Shamelessness is a virtue when you’re attractive. Beckinsale hit the genetic jackpot. As a 43-year-old woman, she should be the fake kind of sexy involving a technically thin body but askew body parts. 

READ MORE

Mariah Carey Drops Boy Toy

April 11, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Mariah Carey is a national treasure. Her mental instability brings joy to millions of Americans anxious to see another star implode right through her girdle. But Carey will never go full Shelley Duvall. Dr. Phil won’t have the pleasure of exploiting her as he journeys into hell.

READ MORE

Kylie Jenner On an Incredible Journey

April 11, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Kylie Jenner is getting her own spinoff series. This is the sixth spinoff show or so from the original Kardashian reality mothership. E! and three hundred of their closest friends are putting their kids through college on this nonsense. 

READ MORE

Bella Hadid Nike-Sponsored Camel Toe

April 10, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Bella Hadid sports a fashionable camel toe sponsored by Nike. Their marketing team put her vagina lips in the contract. Centaur asses are the norm now. Instagram mannequins have to look mythical. 

READ MORE

Scarlett Johansson Calls Out Ivanka Trump

April 7, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Scarlett Johansson isn’t happy with Ivanka Trump. The actress spoke with Arianna Huffington at the Women in the World Summit in New York City where women and the beta males who serve them assembled to drink water out of mugs made from repurposed human waste. 

READ MORE