Claire Foy’s Knee Survives Adam Sandler Attack

October 30, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Claire Foy is such a prim and proper English rose that she makes Kate Winslet look like a bag of Katie Price's douche juice. Instead of slamming the h8ers with clever hashtags and tearful but defiant Snapchat videos after getting knee... READ MORE

Louisa Johnson Does Britney

October 28, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Halloween is a magical time of the year sluts far and wide, but each year, like in a fairytale, a select few sluts are chosen for Internet headlines covering whatever tragic party happened the night before. In this case, it's... READ MORE

Thank God For Phoebe Price’s Parking Lot Ice Cream Taint

October 27, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Before the rise of social media, aspiring Z-list celebrities had to air out their taints out in the real world to get attention - usually while crashing cars or shopping for bedazzled "cum magnet" onesies from Kitson on Robertson Blvd... READ MORE

Kelly Clarkson Looks Like Hell

October 27, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

While we know that all of the aged 90's actresses out there got together at some point and decided on a standardized face, it would appear now that Khloé Kardashian, Kelly Clarkson, and honestly the rhinestone Sea Witch herself Wynonna... READ MORE

Chrissy Teigen And Her Nipple Part One Thousand

October 26, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Chrissy Teigen's nipples have lost some of their razzle and dazzle over the past few years, and now the former model is being forced to turn cheap tricks in order to get them back in the spotlight. If Teigen... READ MORE

Guess That Celebrity

October 26, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

The fact that so many female celebrities, Mickey Rourke included, end up morphing into the same woman when they hit a certain age makes me a little sad. But I have a feeling that once we see the freshman... READ MORE

Two Idiots Reference Babies To Shill Makeup

October 25, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Ninety-percent of the time I'm able to write about the Jenndashian brothel without hearing any of the girls actually speak, but in order to supposedly hear Kylie Jenner and Beast spill the hot gos on their pregnancies, I sat through this... READ MORE

Bud Light Sales Rep Lady Gaga Tragic Lamborghini Entrance

October 25, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Former pop star Lady Gaga still thinks her milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, but unfortunately for her, she apparently consumed whatever milkshake she had left. Hollywood's Willy Loman took time away from drinking Pepsi in her... READ MORE

Kate Winslet Not Necessarily Pro-Child Molesting

October 24, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Kate Winslet stars in whatever half-assed vanity project Woody Allen is showing to empty indie theaters this year, and in a new interview in Variety's Award Season Launch issue (seems a little presumptuous) deflects a question regarding Allen's real-life... READ MORE

David “Ching-Chong-Ching-Chong” Cross Apologizes Again

October 24, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

The fact that gross comedian David Cross bangs his gross wife Amber Tamblyn on the reg is enough to make anyone lose their lunch, but at least, unlike his wife, Cross does his duty as an entertainer by bringing... READ MORE