Photoshopped Bikini Gwyneth Paltrow Admits She Used to Be an Asshole

October 12, 2016 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Gwyneth Paltrow conducted an interview and obviously manufactured bikini photoshoot with Samantha Bee for Harper’s Bazaar where Paltrow comes clean on everything that means nothing and run through a perfection blender available for sale on Goop.

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Kennedy Summers and Khloe Terae Bikinis Together

September 21, 2016 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

It’s hard for a sister to get a job out there. Imagine the decline in the number of jobs for what is loosely and generously referred to as bikini model. The Rust Belt isn’t the only labor subset depressed by international competition, outsourcing, and the rise of the digital economy. When’s the last time you or your buddy bought a wall calendar?

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Alicia Arden in A Bikini

August 26, 2016 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Seeing so many older B-movie and former soap actresses taking their tits to revealing digital media shoots makes me wonder what the fuck happened to these women before high speed modems.

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Chanel Iman in A Bikini

August 9, 2016 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Vogue declared this chick one of the top models of the 2000’s. She entered the decade at nine years of age, so that’s probably worth a Special Victims Unit investigation.

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Miami Swim Week Has Tits Too (VIDEO)

July 28, 2016 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Swim Week in Miami was invented as an excuse to assemble attractive young women to walk around half naked. So similar origins to the University of Florida.

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Klay Thompson’s Ex-Girlfriend Still Figuring Things Out

July 19, 2016 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

This chick with the amazing ass broke up with Klay Thompson because he was cheating on her. That’s a technical impossibility if you have any adult level sense of how the world works. Or you’ve ever watched Animal Planet while high.

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Rocky Barnes in A Bikini

July 18, 2016 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Somebody invented Swim Week in Miami for when the scent of Cuban armpit is especially strong. It’s a time in mid-July for thousands of women designing nearly identical bikinis all stitched in the same garment factory in The Killing Fields to hire out tons of hot bodied Florida Junior college chicks.

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Emma Roberts in A Bikini

July 14, 2016 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Emma Roberts has Eric Roberts blood coursing through her veins. She’s playing with borrowed time. That beat down she put on her boyfriend is a classic sign her close associates will choose to ignore when interviewed as to how Roberts found herself up in a bell tower with a rifle and Facebook live manifesto regarding recycling.

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Dakota Johnson Topless Filming ‘Fifty Shades Darker’

July 14, 2016 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Sex with the same partner over and over again is pretty fucking boring. That’s why no man conducted himself thusly for the first 99.9% of human history. Monogamy cries out to invent shit like leather straps and ball gags in the place of just finding new and more interesting people to fuck normally.

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Model Joy Corrigan Not Quite in A Bikini

July 13, 2016 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

If mothers could set aside straight-faced ‘you can be an engineer’ chats with their teen daughters and teach them how to secure their bikini tops after sunbathing on their stomaches, they’d be imparting a far more practical life skill. Never let a man see your tits if you’re not being paid or potentially proposed to.

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