latest bikini posts

miranda kerr deserves an apology
miranda kerr deserves an apology

In the post just beneath this one I said Miranda Kerr and her pictures from the Victorias Secret Fashion Show were kind of boring. Obviously that was before I knew she had pranced around all night letting strangers take pictures of her hot little ass. Because it really is awesome. Seriously. Wow. What? …

friday afternoon headlines
friday afternoon headlines

NEW MOON - is already breaking records. The ‘Twilight’ sequel made $26.3M when it opened this morning at 12:01a.m. There were so many fat girls concentrated in so few spots, the mass pulled the moon 10 miles closer to America. If there’s a tidalwave, I’ll get you for this, Fatties.  (variety)
JON GOSSELIN - entered …

chanel iman is a good model
chanel iman is a good model

I wish there were more pictures of Chanel Iman at last nights Victorias Secret Fashion Show, because this girl really knows how to model. She’s new, but Operation Show Everyone My Perfect Ass was a complete success. That ass is amazing because she’s only like 10 inches in diameter. She must …

heidi klum at the victorias secret fashion show
heidi klum at the victorias secret fashion show

The famous Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show was held in New York City last night, and Heidi Klum is fantastic looking but she’s not exactly 19 anymore, and she gave birth to her fourth child just 6 weeks ago. So many kids have come through her vagina you’d think Disneyland was on the other …

marisa miller is more like it
marisa miller is more like it

Marisa Miller worked the Victorias Secret Fashion Show last night as well, and this is more like it. This is how fashion shows should be, and this is exactly how Marisa should be. 99 percent naked except for body oil and lingerie, but still in ridiculously high heels so I can grab …

minka kelly is in st barths
minka kelly is in st barths

Minka Kelly is in St Barths this week with her boyfriend, New York Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter. He’s really famous, so I have to sweeten the pot if my plan to steal her away is gonna work. The commercials for Kay Jewelers suggested this Loves Embrace pendant.  While the world may …

thursday afternoon headlines
thursday afternoon headlines

Todays headlines are sponsored by Barney, the fattest Dalmatian in England. He’s not the fattest black and white mix breed in England though. Hint hint, Mariah Carey. (barney pix here and here and here. source = splash)
DAVID FINCHER - was called in to create a menu screen for the BluRay release …

annalynne mccord wins again
annalynne mccord wins again

Despite all evidence to the contrary, there are a lot of really smart and creative people trying to work in TV and movies.  But those people cost money, so instead the networks doom us to live with this army of reality show retards who aren’t smart, funny, insightful or attractive.  At least AnnaLynne McCord …

amy is now even sexier
amy is now even sexier

Now that Amy Winehouse has some rock hard implants to compliment her pale, sickly figure, you may be telling people there’s no way she could get any hotter. Well it turns out you’re a god damn liar!  The Sun says…
(Amys dad Mitch) revealed the real reason behind Amy’s trip to hospital at …

the carmen electra sex tape
the carmen electra sex tape

It’s not really a sex tape, by the way. This is everywhere today but I don’t know why people are calling it a sex tape. She hits a bottle of Veuve, then dances to some … thing. Music? It sounds more like someone broke a robot and now the robot is dying. Then she and …

joanna krupa has some free time now
joanna krupa has some free time now

I don’t care about ‘Dancing With the Stars’ of course (in fact if you and I met and I asked what you were doing later and you said, “I’m watching Dancing With the Stars” I would just stare at you blankly while I waited for my brain to calculate how much was wrong with …

tuesday afternoon headlines
tuesday afternoon headlines

WOODY HARRELSON - says America invaded Afghanistan because Chevron wanted to overthrow the Taliban and build an oil pipeline. “The guys from Chevron went in and met with the Taliban and realized those guys just weren’t in control enough. That’s why they wanted to oust them.” You can read his entire interview …

brace yourself for boredom
brace yourself for boredom

‘High School Musical’ star Ashley Tisdale is in Mexico today, and sites like Tyler are pretty much obligated to post pictures like this, so I apologize. She’s so GD boring. She’s not ugly, she’s not pretty, her body isn’t good but it’s not awful either. She’s completely average in every way. …

does jennifer aniston still suck?  you know it.
does jennifer aniston still suck? you know it.

Jennifer Aniston is still a blurry mess in the newest bikini pictures from her trip to Mexico, and thank god because the only thing worse than blurry Jennifer Aniston bikini pictures is clear Jennifer Aniston bikini pictures.
Or maybe I’m being hard on her because these are from Mexico. One time I was doing …

britney is not bad/sort of hot
britney is not bad/sort of hot

Britney Spears and her boyfriend/agent Jason Trawick went for a cruise around Sydney Harbour in Australia this weekend, and Britney may be a little too muscular, but overall she looks pretty good in a bikini again. This Jason dude deserves a high five.  She’s not what she once was, but it still has …

'its always sunny' is now even better
‘its always sunny’ is now even better

Most people are generally stupid and to prove it Vanessa Williams of ‘I Have No Idea’ was nominated for an Emmy as Best Actress in a Comedy while Kaitlin Olsen of ‘It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia’ was not. They might as well have nominated a map of Texas and the color Red too …

jennifer aniston sucks in mexico too
jennifer aniston sucks in mexico too

Jennifer Aniston is on vacation in Mexico today, although you may have to take my word on that because these bikini pictures are so blurry and muddled and annoying. Much like Jennifer Aniston herself. It’s like you and I are psychics seeing her aura, looking right through her and straight to her …

lindsay lohan is a hard worker who deserves respect
lindsay lohan is a hard worker who deserves respect

The highlight of todays audio clip on Radar is when Dina Lohan admits to Michael Lohan that their daughters lifestyle is going to kill her sooner than later (“time is running out with this kid. I know, I’m her mother and I feel it and I’m scared.”). Luckily it seems the message may finally …

eva mendes is too sexy (update!)
eva mendes is too sexy (update!)

A new billboard in SoHo for Calvin Klein is getting some people all worked up because they claim it’s, “borderline pornography”. The ad, which features Eva Mendes, is also on Sunset Blvd. in West Hollywood, but no one there seems to be complaining. Maybe because much of the real pornography is filmed …

this is more like it
this is more like it

Carrie Amstutz spent some time on the beach in Miami yesterday, and of course I don’t need to tell you who Carrie Astutz is. By that I mean I can’t tell you who she is. May God strike me down if I’m lying because I have never seen or heard of this …

jennifa yopez is disgusting
jennifa yopez is disgusting

The home movie of Jennifer Lopez made in 1997, legally held up for now but still being shopped around be her first husband Ojani Noa, at first sounded pretty boring. Now it sounds pretty boring and then interrupted by a scene so awful just the description of it makes my dick shrivel.  People …

britney is still a kick ass mom
britney is still a kick ass mom

Britney Spears has been criticized in the past for her parenting skills, and as you can tell by these pictures of her in Australia today, seen in her room on the way to the pool with her kids and boyfriend Jason Trawick, those criticisms are 100 percent justified.
JASON: “Brit honey, wheres Jayden?”
BRITNEY: “Oh I …

kelly brook is here to help
kelly brook is here to help

This is relevant to nothing but because Rihanna has the self-defense skills of a fucking toddler who just came out of the dryer, my sexxxy website got all serious and depressing.
Luckily Kelly Brook, being wise and all-knowing, preemptively posed for pictures in her bra and panties. Catholics should drop the shit about sunrises …

i dont feel so good
i dont feel so good

Mariah Carey filmed a video yesterday on the beach in Malibu, and she did it in this very revealing swimsuit for some inexplicable reason. I have no idea what song it’s for. It should be called ‘Hungry For Love’. I know there are lots of guys who like girls built like …