latest bikini posts

Nina Agdal In A Bikini
Nina Agdal In A Bikini

I wonder what goes through your mind when you realize Adam Levine dumped you to marry a different cute foreign model. Probably something akin to being stuck in the TSA line and missing an airplane that ends up crashing. That’s God giving you a shot across the bow. For Nina Agdal, she’s taking her second […]

Arianny Celeste in A Bikini
Arianny Celeste in A Bikini

Miami used to be the place you’d go to browse markets for the freshest cocaine. Then maybe in the evening be sucker punched by one of the Canseco brothers. Now you can also see girls like Arianny Celeste in their bikinis taking a break from their jobs of being in bikinis. I’ve liked Arianny Celeste […]

Bella Hadid Arrested For DUI
Bella Hadid Arrested For DUI

Being seventeen and blowing a .14 at 4:00am is not a good set of numbers. Naturally, this teen model kid of the Real Housewives chick couldn’t have been driving in the first place since her license was previously suspended. A suspended license renders all your combustion engine options toit, like an electro-magnetic pulse blast. Just […]

Lea Michele Posts Bikini Photos from Her Happy Hooker Vacation
Lea Michele Posts Bikini Photos from Her Happy Hooker Vacation

Lea Michele continues to honor the one year anniversary of Dead Cory Monteith by boning the living shit out of her male escort boyfriend. Nobody blames Lea for finding comfort in the bulging biceps of a hunky prostitute. Who hasn’t? You can’t dwell forever on the list of men who’ve offed themselves to rid their […]

Paulina Porizkova In A Bikini
Paulina Porizkova In A Bikini

Paulina Porizkova is some miracle of modern science. She’s the Dennis Quaid of chicks. I don’t think she’s shooting Human Growth Hormones into her eye sockets like Dennis and Sean Penn at their ghoulish cocoon swim parties. It’s just genetics. I wish I could build a time machine to go back to 1984 and masturbate […]

Alessandra Ambrosio Sucks On A Lollipop
Alessandra Ambrosio Sucks On A Lollipop

Alessandra Ambrosio was back in her native Brazil portraying a street whore sucking on a lollipop. At some point we’ll see Hillary Clinton pushing this same pose in her continuing ‘I’m just like you’ common woman image rebuild. For Alessandra, she’s playing on one of the archetypal characters in Brazilian lore. The saucy Rio street […]

Anastasia Ashley In A Thong Bikini
Anastasia Ashley In A Thong Bikini

I am truly in love with this surfer girl. I was going to look up her surfing rankings but then I realized I’d never understand them. It’s a close call, but I dig this chick even more than that blond surfer girl who had her arm eaten by a shark then heroically went back to […]

LeAnn Rimes In A Bikini
LeAnn Rimes In A Bikini

LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian’s new reality show, LeAnn and Eddie, because Crazy and Shmucky was apparently already taken, debuted this week on VH-1.¬†The classy couple are fronting the show as a chance for them to explain the real LeAnn and Eddie beyond the tabloid headlines. Then they proceed to spend the entire episode discussing […]

Ashley Sky Poses In A Swimsuit
Ashley Sky Poses In A Swimsuit

Ashley Sky seems to have survived her session in the Terry Richardson studios. The South American girls are a bit heartier than those Hungarian girls who feel the need to piss and moan every time a photographer whips out his dick and announces it’s time to see the rattler bite. In Brazil they educate the […]

Lindsay And Ali Lohan In Bikinis On A Yacht
Lindsay And Ali Lohan In Bikinis On A Yacht

Childhood trauma, drinking, drugs, anorexia, prison, failed careers. These are among the things that simply can’t keep the Lohan sisters down. Those two chin-up girls donned some ill fitting bikinis for their respectively awkward shaped bodies and hit the high seas about ten feet off the coast of Capri, lest probation officer helicopters come swooping […]

Kim Kardashian and Joe Francis Show Off Their Respective Asses
Kim Kardashian and Joe Francis Show Off Their Respective Asses

The jaunty Instagram elf so totally caught Kim Kardashian off-guard when he snapped this candid of her thong ass after only four hours of lighting, prepping and staging. Next to Kim you can see the poor sap who let herself get pregnant by Joe Francis who I thought was doing a dime in Alcatraz for […]

Devin Brugman And Natasha Oakley In Bikinis
Devin Brugman And Natasha Oakley In Bikinis

These two girls have ensconced themselves on the beach in Miami like Jimmy Buffett fans in Key West who realize being a teeth bleaching tech in Milwaukee sucks compared to drinking all day in a thatch covered booze shack by the beach. The one in white is hiding her overbite which just serves as a […]

Natasha Oakley In A Bikini With a Coconut
Natasha Oakley In A Bikini With a Coconut

I feel like it was just yesterday we saw Natasha Oakley on the beach in a bikini. It’s quite possible she doesn’t have a day job. Or this is her day job. In which case, good for her. I sat around on a beach once for a week and all I got were cops in […]

Genevieve Morton Poses Nude for Randall Slavin
Genevieve Morton Poses Nude for Randall Slavin

This South African chick will do anything for attention. You think laying naked on a rocky beach is pleasant? You get a chunk of limestone up your cunny and you’ll be wondering why you didn’t take that weekend shift at the Johannesburg Chick-fil-A. ¬†Ambition really is what differentiates the aspiring models from the girls who […]

Ann-Kathrin Brommel in A Bikini
Ann-Kathrin Brommel in A Bikini

This is what you get for coming in off the bench in the World Cup and kicking the winning goal. Ann-Kathrin Brommel became famous when she ran onto the field in Brazil to show the world that her hyper-styled soccer player boyfriend wasn’t gay, just extremely European. In Germany, it’s feast or famine, or, you […]

Courtney Stodden Goes to Washington
Courtney Stodden Goes to Washington

What makes this country so great is that any common man or woman can go to our nation’s capital and have their voices be heard. There is no more common woman than Courtney Stodden. Courtney went to Washington in a lettuce bikini to encourage people to stop eating hot dogs stuffed full of nasty processed […]

Natasha Oakley In A Bikini
Natasha Oakley In A Bikini

The older you get, the easier it is to lament how shit used to be much better. But it’s rarely true. Oh, fuck no, people are becoming famous just for posting photos of their tits and ass in bikinis on Instagram. That’s a bad thing I guess. Remember when people had to have real talent […]

Jeff Goldblum Likes Young Flexible Wives
Jeff Goldblum Likes Young Flexible Wives

This is the time to call out older men who bang gymnast dancers half their age. They’re emotionally immature and obviously threatened by women who are their equals. They’re not looking for a real partnership, they’re looking for a submissive human doll who won’t challenge their authority. I know, I read the feminist doctrine on […]

Lindsay Lohan Bikini Make Out Pictures Shot from Space
Lindsay Lohan Bikini Make Out Pictures Shot from Space

Lindsay Lohan’s slide rule calculations proved a little off in her effort to achieve beyond-camera distance on her rented boat in Italy. Lindsay didn’t want anybody to see her making out with what everyone is calling her new boyfriend because journalists are uncomfortable using the term fuck buddy. Lindsay’s attempts at privacy only persist in […]

Elisabetta Canalis in A White Bikini
Elisabetta Canalis in A White Bikini

I can’t help but feel George Clooney missed out on this one. I know models like to talk about scarves and plot revenge against the bitch that stole their mascara and stare at dots on the walls for hours wondering if they’re bugs. But that’s a good, simple companion. Like a cocker-spaniel that has great […]

Jessica Alba in A Bikini
Jessica Alba in A Bikini

I enjoy the freedom of being able to say, look at Jessica Alba’s tits and ass in her bikini. Every other entertainment site has to headline Jessica Alba sizzles or Jessics Alba looks romantic or some shit like that to pretend they’re showing you pictures of Jessica Alba’s tits and ass under a fashion news […]

Jenny McCarthy's Is True to Her Word
Jenny McCarthy’s Is True to Her Word

When Jenny McCarthy left The View due to being the worst swimmer in an intellectual pool of limbless ladies, she was given sixty seconds on air to talk about how her next project was going to be equally as huge and annoying. She fake laughed about how it would be a project where she didn’t […]