latest bikini posts

Amy Jackson Wears A Bikini
Amy Jackson Wears A Bikini

You may be asking yourself, why is Amy Jackson in a bikini? Or, more to the point, who the fuck is Amy Jackson.? She’s a British model who acts a lot in Indian movies. If you’ve recently caught a double feature in Mumbai recently on break from your underaged sex tourism, ¬†you’ve probably seen her […]

Bella Thorne In a Thong Bikini
Bella Thorne In a Thong Bikini

Somebody’s going to write me an angry letter and tell me this Disney chick is twelve or something. I’m pretty sure she’s thirty. Her stage parents doctored her birth certificate like an aggressive Dominican baseball scout so her skills would appear developed for her age. Imagine the look of horror on the faces of the […]

Katy Perry Shares a Bikini Picture
Katy Perry Shares a Bikini Picture

Katy Perry really is sassy, adjective adjacent from annoying and super fucking irritating. She has mastered the fine line of being sexy and edgy while dressing like your grandma and guffawing like your gay work friend Nick. It has to be the big chest. Otherwise, it’s inexplicable. Her team of press agents work the magazines […]

Indianara Carvalho Ass Crowned
Indianara Carvalho Ass Crowned

There is no higher achievement in Brazil than winning a best ass title. It’s the equivalent of winning a spelling bee at an H1-B visa heavy grade school in the Silicon Valley. You’re not eating the burnt part of the naan that night, my friend. This chick just won the Bumbum Brazil contest, an annual […]

Victoria Silvstedt in a Bikini
Victoria Silvstedt in a Bikini

Victoria Silvstedt has been missing from public view since her immersion in a stasis tank filled with hep-c blockers and finely shredded paper currencies from the G8 nations. The murky colloid allows her skin to be rejuvenated and her lips and breasts to be re-inflated to specs customized from survey responses of wealthy benefactors around […]

Claudia Romani Understands Snorkeling
Claudia Romani Understands Snorkeling

I’ve always found snorkeling to be a blatant taunt to the fish that we evolved well past them some hundred million years ago. It’s like when rappers go back to their hood to capture some documentary footage and pretend they’re still bunking down in a tract home in Compton. You made it out, we get […]

Brandi Glanville Drinking In a Bikini For A Change
Brandi Glanville Drinking In a Bikini For A Change

Brandi Glanville claims she’s officially given up provoking fights with LeAnn Rimes, even though LeAnn remains a crazy slut who stole her husband. This comes after Glanville’s marketing intern determined she’s no longer getting any media play from the fake feuds. Given that Glanville still colon cleanses with a gallon of Stoli each morning, sticking […]

Kendra Wilkinson Ready for the Jungle
Kendra Wilkinson Ready for the Jungle

Like most new moms with a husband who digs cock and reality shows that cause her to often forget what she’s been told to stay to the press, Kendra Wilkinson and her boobs are headed into the jungle of I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here on British TV. The show brings together D-list […]

Country Troll Is Getting Married, City Troll Comes to Visit
Country Troll Is Getting Married, City Troll Comes to Visit

Snooki already has some number of babies by some dude I thought she was already married to. I guess that never happened. With a new reality show for the mummified and brain dead, the production team has the nuptials keyed in for the season. Bachelorette parties for sliced-up former cast members of Jersey Shore always […]

Alessandra Ambrosio In a Bikini Taking Selfies
Alessandra Ambrosio In a Bikini Taking Selfies

Everything done by an attractive woman merits some form of social contract waiver. That includes up to selfies and manslaughter. Stinky dumps without lighting a match, the jury is still out. If God gave you the looks of Venus, why not document your perfect tits for the world. Snap those raw self-portraits so Aspy dudes […]

Lais Navarro Models Bikinis Well
Lais Navarro Models Bikinis Well

This Brazilian girl seems to know what she’s doing. Look forward, look askance, don’t give away that we’re holding your passport with our coyote contact. It’s all there. The smile of a woman whose freedom is a mere ten bikini photo shoots away. Still better than being the best looking server at all nine Sao […]

Genevieve Morton in A Bikini
Genevieve Morton in A Bikini

This chick really is my favorite. She’s the hot blonde South African model that wasn’t killed by Oscar Pistorious in the Blade Runner model murder roulette. She’s using her second chance at life to show off her tits and ass in every single one of her home country’s twenty nine thousand swimsuit magazines. They do […]

Lisa Opie in A Bikini Doing Yoga
Lisa Opie in A Bikini Doing Yoga

I’m not sure women should be allowed to strike this particular pose on the public beach. It’s like showing off breasts. It’s merely going to cause boys to become interested in girls and someday want to have sex with them. Somebody needs to explain to these boys that while sex is totally fucking awesome, until […]

Anais Zanotti in a Bikini
Anais Zanotti in a Bikini

Real life movements simply aren’t possible when you know dudes with cameras are snapping you. You can’t pick your nose or scratch your ass or adjust your junk. It’s all about tossing the hair and moving like you want the king to pick you out among all the servant girls for his harem where the […]

Colleen Shannon's Car Broke Down, Or Did It?
Colleen Shannon’s Car Broke Down, Or Did It?

The last time Colleen Shannon looked like this she was distracting customs officials in upstate New York so her boyfriend could hop over a creek from Canada into the U.S. with some controlled substances. It’s the Fraulein Helga bent over a low filing cabinet trick. It’s never been topped. These 138 water people are relentless […]

Caitlin O'Connor Has Commercial Grade Boobs
Caitlin O’Connor Has Commercial Grade Boobs

After an exhaustive number of attempts, the omnicidal maniacs at this sham bottled water company have finally stumbled upon precisely the winning formula for simple mastery of the human race. Tits. I don’t even know who this chick is and I want to do whatever the hell she asks. From watering her house plants to […]

Kimberley Garner Has a Keen Ass for Sales
Kimberley Garner Has a Keen Ass for Sales

This British chick designs, fabricates, sews, scissors, packs, ships, and sells her own swimsuit line. She also wears them around vacation hotspots so other women will ask her where she bought her suit and she can modestly say, check out my website. I’m not sure she does any of the hard work save for the […]

Stella Maxwell Wears Underwear Super Well
Stella Maxwell Wears Underwear Super Well

This chick seems to be getting a lot of jobs. Probably all those IT certifications on her resume. Maybe her perfectly tight ass which says to the world, I don’t need no fucking IT certifications. I’ll find a guy to set up my email. Good for you, sweetheart. The biggest mistake people make in life […]

Sally Fitzgibbons Surfs Professionally
Sally Fitzgibbons Surfs Professionally

Who doesn’t like surfer girls. They’re hot tom boys with Australian accents who will never make you hold their purse at the mall. They don’t even have a purse. They have knapsack and it’s filled with industrial lube they need to use you sexually to get loose before a competition. If she let’s me use […]

Abby Cubey In a Black Bikini
Abby Cubey In a Black Bikini

Fuck the 138 Water blood sucking sinister interplanetary invading bitches. This is too much. A Filipina girl with big tits. That’s got to be the Secret Weapon X they’ve been holding out on. This isn’t even supposed to exist. It doesn’t exist. Not on this planet. All I ask is that this big breasted anomaly […]

Colleen Shannon in a Bikini
Colleen Shannon in a Bikini

It only makes sense that the nefarious bastards from 138 Water have switched to ex-cons to lull everybody and their reflexive dicks into a sense of calm before the invading storm. Playmate Colleen Shannon billed herself as the world’s hottest DJ before she got busted smuggling her smuggling boyfriend across the Canadian border and got […]