latest bikini posts

jewel has bad timing
jewel has bad timing

If Jewel wants attention, and it would seem she does, she shouldn’t have posed for bikini pictures on Halloween weekend. If she ended up competing with hot girls in slutty costumes, she would get killed, and thx to sexy bitches like Kim Kardashian and Kimberly Phillips, that’s exactly what happened. Jewel should …

oh dear god
oh dear god

Kim Kardashian calls this Princess Jasmine costume part of her “Disney Halloween”, but a better name might be “HOLYFUCKINGSHIT”.  Kim used to be kind of average looking. Now she seems to get hotter every day. If I had sex with her while she wore this outfit, I would just chop my …

doutzen kroes in st barths
doutzen kroes in st barths

Dutch supermodel Doutzen Kroes is also in St Barths this week to shoot for the new Victorias Secret catalog, and even though she’s awesome looking, she had to follow Alessandra Ambrosia on this same beach. And it’s not her fault, but compared to Alessandra, every other woman is a pig. God I …

alessandra ambrosio, day 3
alessandra ambrosio, day 3

Alessandra Ambrosio is still in St Barths to shoot the new Victorias Secret catalog, and just when it seemed she couldn’t get any more perfect, it turns out she can do this with her tongue. At this point it wouldn’t surprise me to learn that her vagina is lined with velvet, and …

friday morning headlines
friday morning headlines

LINDSAY LOHAN - is sleeping with guys again. Or at least she left a hotel with one, a model named Pete Smith. Wow, sex with Lindsay Lohan! What an amazing accomplishment. She must think he’s really special. (the sun)
ASHLEE SIMPSON - might have been kicked off ‘Melrose Place’ because Heather …

alessandra ambrosio, day 2
alessandra ambrosio, day 2

I don’t know if you heard the news, but these are actual pictures from Heaven. It’s a real place. They found it.
(source = fame pictures)

afternoon headlines
afternoon headlines

CUTE COLLEGE GIRL - some of the girls on the “cute girl” page will have one or two good pictures but that’s about it. Nikki on the other hand gets hotter and hotter with every new picture. In fact I’m trying to find a state that will let me marry this one. …

alessandra is still perfect
alessandra is still perfect

Alessandra Ambrosio is on St. Barths this week to shoot the new Victorias Secret catalog, and it’s hard to even comprehend how good looking she is. She’s so physically perfect I’m not sure I could even have sex with her. There’s certainly no way I would cum on her. She’s flawless, …

marisa miller is photogenic
marisa miller is photogenic

Marisa Miller modeled the Victorias Secret Harlequin Fantasy Bra yesterday, a diamond studded bra valued at 3 million dollars. That seems like a waste of money. I mean, really, who do they think is gonna buy a bra for 3 million dollars? Not to mention how heavy it would be. …

morning headlines
morning headlines

METALLICA - has offered $50,000 as a reward to help find a girl who went missing after one of their concerts in Virginia.  Have they checked the hospitals?  Maybe she checked into one to see if they could help with her shitty taste in music.  (ap)
JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT - has created …

oh hell yes
oh hell yes

I’ve never heard of Emanuela de Paula before, but according to google my sources, she’s a 20-year-old model from Brazil, and here we see her posing for Victoria’s Secret in St. Barth yesterday.
In ‘Great Expectations’, Pip said this concerning fate and destiny:
“That was a memorable day for me, for it made great changes in …

Smooth, bro.  Smooth.
Smooth, bro. Smooth.

‘The Real Hustle’ must be an amazing example of whatever it is because it’s host is Jessica-Jane Clement, and here she is today in Cyprus, Greece. The totally cool guy who got those sleeves because they mean a lot to him and NOT because he’s a mindless jackass who does what everyone does …

is she wearing makeup?
is she wearing makeup?

Today is boring, so it’s a good thing that mostly naked Aussie girls never go out of style. In this case, Sophie Monk, “surfing” outside LA yesterday. She’s not really surfing of course, just using the surfboard as a prop to pose for the paparazzi. But that’s ok, for I believe …

marisa.  millers.  ass.
marisa. millers. ass.

When you’re shooting for the new Victorias Secret catalog, theres no time to seek out fancy closets or changing rooms, so brave pioneers like Marisa Miller just take their clothes off right there on the beach. It’s why a lot of the top experts think she’ll go down in history as one of …

lindsay is doing great
lindsay is doing great

Everyone changes as they get older of course, but it’s still striking to compare a picture of Lindsay from last night to one from 10 years ago. Especially since that one on the left is from 3 years ago (frightening full size image here). She used to be fantastic looking, now she …

britney got bam
britney got bam

Britney was in Mexico this weekend with her lover Jason Trawick, at least that’s what the caption said. This is not what I thought he looked like. This looks more like Dax Shepard pretending to be Billy Bob Thornton. Way to go Brit.  She still swings her arms around …

courteney cox is pretty gd hot
courteney cox is pretty gd hot

Courteney Cox filmed some bikini scenes for her ABC show ‘Cougartown’ over the weekend. The show is about she and her friends sleeping with younger men. She looks amazing so it’s probably a pretty good show. Another good show would be one called ‘Colonel Monkey’. It’s about a …

morning headlines
morning headlines

KIM KARDASHIAN - will get paid 50 grand to have a birthday party (she turns 29 on Wednesday) at Tao inside the Venetian in Las Vegas. I sometimes stand outside of Tao and loudly complain on my cell phone about all the girls I’ve been having sex with.  The “dude” I’m talking …

afternoon headlines
afternoon headlines

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MAN - Over 2000 people, people with no connection to each other, from different parts of the world, all claim to have seen this man in their dreams. I would have posted this sooner, but I was hiding under my desk in a puddle of urine and jabbing espresso …

theyre gonna sell a lot of these
theyre gonna sell a lot of these

It’s surprising that Richie Rich isn’t the most popular fashion designer in the world. He has such amazing clothes. Like this outfit Pam Anderson wore yesterday in Miami to promote their fashion line ‘Amuse’. He took a bathing suit out of her closet, then marked her vagina with crime scene tape …

marissa miller is somewhat attractive
marissa miller is somewhat attractive

The new Victoria’s Secret catalog with all new pictures of Marisa Miller is out, and if it wasn’t clear before it should be now that Marisas body is ridiculous. She’s so perfect I don’t need new pictures. I don’t even need pictures. If she got killed in a car crash today, …

jamie pressley is spoiled
jamie pressley is spoiled

Jaimie Pressley spent her honeymoon in Mexico this weekend, and pictures like this were probably considered pornography 50 years ago but things being what they are, now it’s just boring. What are you, a Senator? Take your damn top off.

oh hell yes
oh hell yes

Oh thank God finally. Finally last night was the the night on “Californication” that Eva Amuri (Susan Sarandons daughter) got naked. If you don’t know, David Duchovny plays a writer now teaching a college class and she plays a student in his class.
Her face is a little suspect but who the hell cares …

tara reid is not bad
tara reid is not bad

Just last week Tara Reid posed naked for an upcoming issue of Playboy, and this weekend she pranced around Santa Monica in a bikini top and a wristband she used for shorts. If the Playboy computer wizardry can do something about her stomach, it’s possible this shoot could be kind of hot. …