Chanel Iman in A Bikini

Vogue declared this chick one of the top models of the 2000's. She entered the decade at nine years of age, so that's probably worth a Special Victims Unit investigation. read more

Miami Swim Week Has Tits Too (VIDEO)

Swim Week in Miami was invented as an excuse to assemble attractive young women to walk around half naked. So similar origins to the University of Florida. read more

Klay Thompson’s Ex-Girlfriend Still Figuring Things Out

This chick with the amazing ass broke up with Klay Thompson because he was cheating on her. That's a technical impossibility if you have any adult level sense of how the world works. Or you've ever watched Animal Planet while high. read more

Rocky Barnes in A Bikini

Somebody invented Swim Week in Miami for when the scent of Cuban armpit is especially strong. It's a time in mid-July for thousands of women designing nearly identical bikinis all stitched in the same garment factory in The Killing Fields to hire out tons of hot bodied... read more

Emma Roberts in A Bikini

Emma Roberts has Eric Roberts blood coursing through her veins. She's playing with borrowed time. That beat down she put on her boyfriend is a classic sign her close associates will choose to ignore when interviewed as to how Roberts found herself up in a bell tower with... read more

Dakota Johnson Topless Filming 'Fifty Shades Darker'

Sex with the same partner over and over again is pretty fucking boring. That's why no man conducted himself thusly for the first 99.9% of human history. Monogamy cries out to invent shit like leather straps and ball gags in the place of just finding new and more... read more

Model Joy Corrigan Not Quite in A Bikini

If mothers could set aside straight-faced 'you can be an engineer' chats with their teen daughters and teach them how to secure their bikini tops after sunbathing on their stomaches, they'd be imparting a far more practical life skill. Never let a man see your tits if... read more

The Stallone Girls in Bikinis

There are pluses and minuses to being seventy with a still attractive forty-something wife and three attractive teen daughters. Cialis and a chick in your bed who still looks good naked is a big something. But older guy muscle juice can't stop hordes of horny young men... read more

Toni Garrn in A Bikini

Every model who's done her time on the DiCaprio line charts a different path upon release. Some get a taste of the sweet life and simply can't go back. Toni Garnn dabbled in independence before realizing paying rent is for suckers. read more

Melanie Brown in A Bikini

America's Got Talent neither showcases unknown talent or features hosts from America, yet it passes as iconic Americana. This is the kind of shit that leads to nationalist referendums. read more

Daniela Lopez Osorio in A Bikini

This model is famous because she was once spotted eating food on the set of shoot. It's like seeing LeBron called for shoving off a defender. You recall the one time in your life you saw it happen. Osorio was said to have told the stunned onlookers, that she doesn't eat... read more

Aspiring Model Brianna Addolorato Topless Sunbathing

The best of modern American literature can be found in the blogs of young women wishing to be more sought after professional models. The word "plucky" comes to mind. If you discount the ripe subtext of desperation. It's like documenting the captain of the high school... read more