Baseball Dick Injury Delights

Crotch injury hilarity permeating elementary school playgrounds the world over extends throughout adulthood, into old age homes, and even into heaven, where Jesus loves nothing more than a good ol' sack wack for levity sake. Good spirits are just a dick and ball grab... read more

Muslim Terrorism Creating Great Deals to Europe

If you don't get killed in Europe by the the local baker radicalized at the corner mosque, you're set to experience some stellar travel deals. Thanks to the massive swell of jihadists ushered into Europe's major cities and a few limbless bloody bodies later, tourism from... read more

Saudi Miniskirt Chick Released By Cops

Feminists hate to rip on Muslims because they see themselves as similarly oppressed by Trump and his White Patriarchal Subjugation Brigade. It makes no principled sense, but imagine the level of intellectual honesty at feminist klatches read more

Trump Babes Might Move the Needle

While college educated and TV actress white women are desperately distancing themselves from Trump via Starbucks latte clutching paid-time-off marches, they aren't all women. Some women voted for Trump. Others merely want you to have a non-partisan desire to finish on... read more

Mom Defends Getting Fucked While Breastfeeding Baby

White trash and liberated social media prostitutes can agree on the importance of multitasking while breastfeeding. Appalachian teen mom hill people have a rotating carousel of cousins suckling on their meth-laced curdled tit milk. Without double tasking, they'd have no... read more

Pirates of the Caribbean Evolving Into Better Men

Pirates were really horrible guys it turns out. Brutish, sexist, misogynistic, racist pigs. On a future PBS show, Ben Affleck will apologize for the pirates in his ancestral tree.  read more

CNN Retracts

Journalism as an honest trade is largely dead. Major news outlets are either driven by partisan ideology or the broader issue of being underfunded and understaffed as all the eyeballs and money move toward entertainment. The money always was in entertainment, but... read more

'Fearless Girl' Kills It in France

The ad agencies that reminded America to feel super bad about itself during the Super Bowl, joined forces with their Worldwide counterparts in Cannes for a chance to compliment each other's choice of suits. read more

ESPN Surveys Itself For Liberal Bias

ESPN remains desperate to counter the growing Internet thinking that their subscriber base tanking is due in good measure to the liberal political bias of their TV content. Everybody in the industry understands ESPN's losses have far more to do with having overbid on... read more

Everybody Down With Wonder Woman

Who knows if Wonder Woman will be the first decent DC comics movie adaptation in a very long time. Maybe so. Certainly so is the fact that you better say it is or your permanent record is going to be marked in sexist red.   read more

Memorial Day A Good Day for a Reckoning

Memorial Day is one of those occasions when it's harder for re-Tweeters to pretend their commitment to the social good is not merely an exercise in shrill masturbation.  read more

Wonder Woman Just For Women

“Apologies, gentlemen, but we’re embracing our girl power and saying ‘No Guys Allowed’ for one special night at the Alamo Ritz. And when we say ‘Women (and People Who Identify As Women) Only,’ we mean it. read more