Royals Fan Punches Woman In Face For Equality (VIDEO)

A man wearing a Kansas City Royals jersey at Kauffman Stadium punched the shit out of a woman. This isn't the soft jab of someone who wants to teach a bitch a lesson. He wanted her dead. read more

Target Remains a Hot Bed of Victimization

Most of societies great social struggles are played out within the walls of your typical Target box store. Tranny bathrooms, girls toys no longer allowed to be colored pink, and body shaming. Tons and tons of body shaming. read more

Fancy Boys Prep Schools Rife With Pederasts, Go Figure

Social issue outrage will result in half dramatic overstatement and half dramatic understatement of the underlying problem. Campus rape hysteria led to grossly exaggerated sexual assault stats on college campuses, leading to the Obama Administration to announce straight... read more

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Brits Dropping the Easter from Easter

New Prime Minister and perfectly British looking middle aged woman Theresa May is offended that the big National Trust Easter Egg Hunt in London is removing the name Easter from its title this year. They're rebranding with "The Great British Egg Hunt". read more

Carolina Dumps Their Single Gender Bathrooms for More Basketball

All politics are local. Also, incredibly inane, boring, and cynical. Last year North Carolina passed a bill that said you have to piss in the public restroom aligned with your birth certificate gender. This was the so-called tranny ban. read more

Raccoon Steals Bra

Lest you buy into the partisan politics that Russia is a well groomed Bond villain capable of manipulating mass media and global sentiment -- nope. Still drunks and shoddy porn producing fiends who can't find their pants in the morning. read more

Broseph Humps Bronze Girl on Wall Street

For International Women's Day a large Wall Street firm that probably owes you money commissioned the statue of a strident looking girl in bronze to face off against the iconic bronze bull in the small park near the financial district. read more

A Day Without a Woman Survival Guide

What can be said about A Day Without a Woman other than chicks are shitty at picking out fonts. Also, wearing red before Memorial Dayis somewhat gauche. Organizers are quick to note men are fully invited to participate. Less quick to explain their obvious absence from any... read more

Trigga Warning Is Pure White Gangsta

My asexual life partner Matt Ralston has a new musical comedy album out and it's super fucking funny. No, not musical comedy like Nathan Lane. More like Lenny Bruce rapping if Lenny Bruce had been big and goofy and Irish. read more

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Russian Politician Devises Grand Scheme

Apparently Russia has a problem with violent soccer hooligans. This sort of behavior tends to happen when rubbing alcohol is readily available but no jobs. Curiously these guys can still afford admission. Looks like it's wax lips for dinner again tonight kids. read more

Just Another Hippo Dead in South Central (America)

The best cure ever for being mired in the America-is-going-to-hell dark thoughts is a little trip around the rest of the world. It's a fucking sewer. read more

Monster Energy Girls Boobs Under Fire

Numerous complaints came into Fox and NASCAR about the revealing outfits worn by the Monster Energy promotional girls hanging around the Daytona 500 TV coverage. According to those upset, NASCAR is a family program. read more