School Shootings Experiencing Gender Equality

In High school a girl's main focus is mostly boys, not guns and revenge. My guess is this was an attempt to get out of a test that she didn’t study for taken too far. read more

Forever 21 Sued For Sneaky Peaky Porn

The main focus of every corporation in existence is to make as much money as possible. That means cutting corners and squeezing every penny possible to turn a profit. Even if that means doing something strange for change on the side. read more

Massage Envy Spas Prove That Women Don't Like Happy Endings

In what may come as a surprise to people who don't think things through logically, the nation's largest strip mall franchise massage parlors stand accused of having rogue masseurs touch their female clients sexually.  read more

First Mall Brawl Signals Start of Crazy Women Shopping Season (VIDEO)

There's something to be said for venturing to the mall in the pitch dark to save twenty nine bucks on Christmas shopping, and that something is almost entirely related to the Seven Deadly Sins. read more

Instagram Model Christmas Shops Without Clothes On At Mall

It’s nice to know creating a viral video has a formula. Just get as close to forced voyeurism as possible and voila, three million views and counting.  read more

Casey Anthony Is Definitely Not Crazy

I’m still trying to figure out why someone who wasn’t afraid to murder their own child would fear a lawsuit from their parents. Once you earn your murder badge being sued isn’t a big threat to you.  read more

Vegas Shooter’s Other Brother Caught With Kid Porn

Having siblings can sometimes suck. Especially when their crimes get you caught too. But there’s no sympathy for someone who catches collateral damage child pornography charges. read more

Pole Dance Is Officially A Sport, Olympic Contending Strippers Coming Soon

For once women can finally take pride in pole dancing instead of it only being celebrated in the privacy of sketchy clubs. That woman with the C-section scars struggling to feed her five kids was always an athlete read more

Halloween Remains the Slutty Holiday

Slutty's an overwrought adjective. But how else to describe wearing the sexy version of an eleven year old girl's iconic wardrobe for a party full of drunken men dressed as Donald Trump? read more

370-Pound Man Sues Six Flags For Pool Masturbation Allegations

Amusement parks are the end all be all place to teach your kids that shit gets real out there, and nothing is more real than a 370-pound man jerking his innie in a wave pool in front of his daughter. Allegedly. According to TMZ, A security guard at Six Flags Hurricane... read more

Don't Blow the Phallus Shaped Woodwinds

Nothing could be more benevolent than a humanitarian organization such as "Flutes Across the World". They circulate "peace" decorated school recorders among and between children in hard to pronounce countries around the world. read more

Dick Pic Gets Kid Show Yanked From Netflix

Creative people almost always find a way to incorporate a small piece of themselves into the things they produce. And that’s fine. As long as that small piece of you isn’t your penis. read more