Adriana Lima and Julian Edelman Couldn't Find Time to Get It On

Scheduling conflicts has to be the laziest public excuse ever for a celebrity breakup. It's less honest than 'that fucker gave me genital warts'. Also far less clickbait worthy. read more

Adriana Lima Deep Thoughts

At some point we may want to stop interviewing supermodels, or at least admit that we're being condescending by pretending what they're saying isn't mostly garbage. read more

Adriana Lima Does Some Foxy Boxing And Shit Around The Web

Adriana Lima boxes in some skimpy workout clothes. She's selling something. Just say yes and save some hassle. Her vagina is sweating for God's sake. read more

Adriana Lima Is the Shit And Shit Around The Web

This video of Adriana Lima's hottest looks has got my pressure up. Fries and gravy has the same effect, only they label you a weirdo if you masturbate openly to the latter. read more

Adriana Lima Hot Body In A Sports Bra And Shit Around The Web

Adriana Lima shows just how fit she is in a sports bra. It's pretty fit. Fit enough to make her one of the top paid models in the world. So it also comes off. read more

Adriana Lima Olympian Tits And Shit Around The Web

Adriana Lima will take part in Olympics opening. She doesn't fear Zika because fear leads to hate which leads to suffering. Also, her tits are generously lubed in mosquito repellant. read more

Adriana Lima Erection Maker And Shit Around The Web

Adriana Lima has never taken a bad photo. Her mom's obstetrician saw Adriana in utero and got a boner. That's a hyperbole, but only by a little. read more

Adriana Lima Is Muy Caliente And Shit Around The Web

Adriana Lima's job is to show up to events, strike a pose, and let guys imagine fucking her. The hours are rough, but the pay is good and virtual spooge doesn't leave any stains. read more

Adriana Lima Black Lingerie For Love Advent (VIDEO)

I'm pretty sure the Advent is over. But who's going to stop a bunch of foreign models from rolling around in lingerie like they're back in the emir's palace and somebody's plucking a lute. Wait for the zither. Here comes the buggery. None of this really had anything to... read more

Adriana Lima's Lingeried Tits And Shit Around The Web

Adriana Lima is muy caliente. She makes my Latin blood boil in a good way, not in a have to take blood pressure medicine way. Check out her chichis in lingerie. (Last Men On Earth) Erin Heatherton is topless for your viewing pleasure. (Egotastic All-Stars) Marisa Papen... read more

Victoria's Secret Intends to Win the Super Bowl

People who say the commercials are the best part about the Super Bowl have never seen Katy Perry sing over a pre-recorded track to staged multicultural fans screaming their heads off. Until they allow tits on network television, the game itself will always be better. You... read more

The 2015 Pirelli Calendar Is Here

Back in the days when you could eat steak rare and colonic with Camel smoke and bang your secretary over a metal desk, men kept pin up calendars on their wall. Now that move will cost you two weeks in a re-education camp beneath Vassar's rugby field. Pirelli has been... read more