Alessandra Ambrosio Educating

Alessandra Ambrosio took her daughter out of the school she may or may not attend to bring her along on a European modeling jaunt. It's take you daughter to work day and your work is allowing hyperactive gay men to layer you in chiffon and order you to show a little nipple on a walk down a raised platform. So, something less than bio-engineer, something more than being a real estate agent. They all cry at times.read more

Alessandra Ambrosio Rides 'Em, Gay Cowboy

If you're a hot chick, a gay best friend is as key to your happiness as the guy you married for convenience, kids, or your ass waxing esthetician. You could easily live without those others. Your fellow models are far too sinister to confide in anything more than the state of the zika virus in their home countries.read more

Alessandra Ambrosio Downward Facing Dog

While the feminist world is striving to be treated like men, minus the prostate cancer and ceaseless decades of work, they're being betrayed by their own gender naturally obsessed with celebrity, fashion, and looks. A quick search reveals that the last forty to infinity articles in female journals on Alessandra Ambrosio are about her figure, her hair, her clothes, or how cute her children look in designer outfits.

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Alessandra Ambrosio Ass Wardrobe Malfunction And Shit Around The Web

Alessandra Ambrosio's ass flashed during a photo shoot on the beach. She compared it to growing up in Brazil and letting older men lick her budding breasts in exchange for cooking oil and quickly waved it off as no big deal.read more

Alessandra Ambrosio Has It Figured Out

Alessandra Ambrosio has started her young daughter in with yoga classes. You can force them to skip meals, but there's no way to ensure they become lucrative models if they're not committed to living in Lululemon stretch pants by seven. If Ambrosio had made her fortune in the vulcanized rubber industry, this kid would be stirring the sulfide tanks. Dr. Seuss explains relative gratitude far better.

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Alessandra Ambrosio Cleavage Show And Shit Around The Web

Alessandra Ambrosio says she's excited to welcome people to her home country this summer. I think she means Brentwood. She occasionally visits Brazil to drop off ten American dollars to her grandmother's kidnappers but outside of that she sticks mostly to Northern Hemisphere Fairmont Hotels.

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Alessandra Ambrosio Likes To Bikini And Shit Around The Web

Alessandra Ambrosio has that high maintenance look stamped all over here. She's also thirty-five, good looking, and rakes in about fifteen million a year. You can look past the stamp.read more

Alessandra Ambrosio Has a Simple Strategy

Every media mention about Alessandra Ambrosio is related to what she's wearing or how great she looks. Living in Spandex is absolutely the way to go through life if you can get away with it. You'll be out of the lingerie game in five more years, but you'll have forty million American dollars buried in a cemetery in the hills outside your native city.read more

Alessandra Ambrosio Make-Up Free

Alessandra Ambrosio is being lauded for taking her son shopping without wearing any make-up. Every seventh day models have to let their acne riddled skin go fallow. More noteworthy is the absence of her kid she took shopping. She might be tracking him on GPS. He's almost four. Time to grow up. In Brazil he'd be on his third off the tax rolls job by now. Look at those long fucking legs. She can make more. [gallery...

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Alessandra Ambrosio No Shirt For Shoe Ad

Why do men instinctively long for super high maintenance women? I know the answer, but this is a test. This chick always looks like a fucking handful of broody regret and emotional stroking. She's topless selling shoes. This wasn't your idea but you've certainly going to pay for it. When she finds her husband porking the far less attractive nanny she'll wonder how it happened. That fuming anger will be paid forward to...

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Alessandra Ambrosio Off Duty

You couldn't build a more perfect mom than a Brazilian chick in jean shorts wearing a vintage foreign AC/DC concert tee purchased yesterdayat Barney's. Her legs are easilyeight furlongs. Her teeth are chiseled square for the perfect blow job or damming up the Amazon in support of industrial deforestation. Her belt cost more than your dad made in his career. Your dad worked hard.Tough luck. He should've looked more...

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GQ Remains In the Closet

GQ used to be more subtle in its emasculationlike going with your girl to see Pitch Perfect because you claim it will get you laid or trying on silk shirts thinking it makes you look gangster. The gloves are off. The GQ editorial staff decided they couldn't just show a Brazilian model in a bikini in their annual body issue so they added a soccer player topless on a scooter. I don't care how many hot chicks Ronaldo...

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Alessandra Ambrosio Rolls Her Bare Ass on America

It's always a humdinger when some hot chick in a bikini disrespects the Stars and Stripes. According to my Farmer's Almanac, this Danger Zone melange violates about seventeen different rules of treating Old Glory like the reverent symbol she is. If this was some ISIS dude wearing only a keffiyeh, we'd have boots on the ground in Syria by noon. The mom you badly want to fuck writhing around an American flag submerged...

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Alessandra Ambrosio Pokies

Alessandra Ambrosio is a constant reminder that if you're handsome and wealthy you get to marry and have sex with tall attractive women. Also, you do exceedingly well with offers in 24 Hour Fitness saunas. This could be that male privilege thing feminists glean through the study of HuffPo and Jezebel like it's torah. But ask the fat broke guy how his privilege is working out for him. He's going to get prostate cancer...

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Alessandra Ambrosio Seems Like a Good Devil

You don't get the parent you want, you get the parent you need. If you see your mom hawking her tits outside a nightclub on Halloween in a devil costume, just know that she's trying hard to keep you fed and in a decent full tuition pre-school. You think Brazilian bikini models don't have bills to pay? Fuck you. What do you know of their struggles. Did you get your vagina tested for latex allergies. This is the first...

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