Angelina Jolie Topless Memories of Those Mammary Glands

It's times like this it's good to remind yourself why you're no better than Brad Pitt when it comes to falling for crazy chicks with that horny twinkle in their eye and a near perfect 20-something body. read more

Brad Pitt, Child Abuser, According to Reports from Angelina Jolie's Sister's Friend Who's Cousins With a Guy at TMZ

Let the games begin. Angelina Jolie is wasting no time leaking tales to the media about her husband's drug and alcohol fueled rants and verbal and physical abuse of the children. TMZ is biting: read more

Angelina Following the Heard Model for the Sake of the Children

The only people who know what goes on in any family are the husband and wife and their seven or so internationally adopted and conceived children. Plus the truck beds of UN Refugees turned into household staff, nannies, and windbreaker wearing personnel security. read more

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Angelina Jolie And Brad Pitt Divorce

It's a miracle it lasted this long. She appears to be completely insane and keeps removing her body parts. He seems like a not so bright pothead. You don't have to get married just because people think it would be kind of cool. read more

Angelina Jolie Child Thirst Originated in Cambodia

Angelina Jolie is in Cambodia filming yet another morose and unpopular film about human tragedy for Netflix. Search under Sad and Suicidal and Asian Genocide next date night on the couch. Famously now the mother of anywhere from nine to fourteen children from all the... read more

Angelina Jolie Digging Menopause

Amongthe benefits of descending into your basement laboratory and jigsawing out your lady parts is early onset menopause. Fuck those big pharma commercials where women are scratching their menopausalhuman shellsinto bloody shreds. Jolie finds it calming. Like a serial... read more

Angelina Jolie Even More Depressing Movies

Every time Angelina Jolie lops off another reproductive organ she celebrates by writing directing and producing a grossly disheartening foreign film. Is she legally not allowed to make depressing art house movies in the U.S.? I couldn't read all the Sony emails. Jolie's... read more

By The Sea Looks Scintillating (VIDEO)

Writer director Angelina Jolie is surpassed in horror only by oncologist clairvoyantAngelina Jolie. I might have that reversed. I could finally finish my Psych 101 paper requirements watching Angelina pre-cog her breasts and uterus out of her body. I see no redeeming... read more

Angelina Jolie Updates the U.N.

Angelina Jolie will take a break from freaking out her kids with her preventative organ removals for matters of international importance. Like when the United Nations Security Council calls her in to solve the Syrian refugee problem. Having a high school dropout with... read more

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Angelina Jolie Cuts Out More Shit

Angelina Jolie lopped off both her breasts a couple years ago in order to avoid future cancer predicted as more likely than not by her genetic drill down. Jolieand her vivisected tits were carried on high by throngs of cheering women who don't get similar thrills from... read more

Hot Single Girls Seeking Men And Shit Around The Web

Sometimes I wonder about important shit. Like if seeing hot selfies of single girls helps or hinders the dating process. Just kidding. I don't think about that shit. I just look at their tits and ass and hope they put out after appsat TGIFridays like the rest of you.... read more

Angelina Jolie And Jennifer Aniston Co-Exist

A you stole my man with your slutty vagina accusation lingers on through eternity. At the time, it seemed easy to peg. Jennifer Aniston was vanilla ice cream and Angelina Jolie was hot pussy juice flavored ice cream and stole Brad Pitt because he has a dick and that's... read more