Madonna's New Ass Seems a Tad Bulky (VIDEO)

Malawi is a special place for Madonna. It's the impoverished African nation where she's purchased between three and seven of her adopted children. You can never get those shiny beads back. read more

The Real Victim of the DNC Email Leaks

The DNC email leaks confirmed what most already knew -- people who work in national politics are wonky sinister losers who take themselves far too seriously. Also, they watch shitty movies and find Rachel Maddow attractive. Following the standard that the only thing... read more

Ariana Grande Selling Sex (VIDEO)

Ariana Grande's new album is chock full of songs about wanting to be touched and fucked and feel like a woman. I'm not sure she needs a whole album to make that happen. I know a bar. These are the musings of a young woman who grew up on a TV set and didn't get the chance... read more

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2016 Grammy Awards the 49th Best Grammy Awards Ever

Grammy's music is akin to grabbing the iPod of a random teen girl chewing bubble gum and pressing shuffle play. You throw in a desperate attempt to feature every single black person in the recording industry into the mix and you have crappy Seacrest radio play music... read more

Ariana Grande Bio Hazard

Wolfee Donuts, the puke floored establishmentwhere Ariana Grande and her gender expansive boyfriend licked some donuts has failed a health inspection. Apparently authorities who peruse TMZ saw her donut licking video and busted the shop because you're not supposed to... read more

Ariana Grande Hates America (VIDEO)

Ariana Grande says she hatesAmerica. It could be easy to take her comments out of context:"I hate America, I hate Americans." Perhaps she's speaking ofher friend down the street, America America. Their family is known for starting armed conflicts, as well as barbecues... read more

Ariana Grande Licks Holes And Shit Around The Web

Minuscule diva Ariana Grande was spotted in a donut shop's security footage licking a bunch of donuts and then not buying them.If it's a fetish, I'm down with it, but I want to do it with you. OtherwiseI'm just getting the herp without any of the fun. Watch her lick the... read more

Ariana Grande Headlines All Star Game

The NBA has a firm grasp on its fan base. They've tapped a dwarfwho wears cat ears and appeals to modestly reformed pederasts on the loophole that she is technically an adult, all be it witha glaring hormone imbalance, to headline the All Star Game's Halftime Show. Her... read more

Ariana Grande Seems Young

I'm pretty sure this chick's entire appeal is based around looking like a girl who can't find her parents at a Hello Kitty convention. Which is just like saying Microsoft's DOS entire appeal was based around being able to operate PCs. There's an enormous market for... read more

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Ariana Grande Taken Out By An Angel

Sometimes you plan and plan, but shit just goes wrong. A fucking wing to the head when you're trying to belt out your mall ballad for the fifteenth time this week. Lingerie models can work through this. They've trained themselves since second grade to suffer. But when... read more

Victoria's Secret 2014 Fashion Show British Style

The Victoria's Secret fashion show was a huge hit in London last night, aiding the country of England in their annual determination of which of their foppish male denizen are gay and which just seem super gay. It wasn't quite as crude as a boner test, more like seeing if... read more

Ariana Grande Moved the Crowd

There was some effort to provide tits at the American Music Awards so the seventeen percent of straight male audience viewing the fabulous costume and lip synch parade could tell their buddies this morning, it was awesome, did you see so and so's tits? Everyone... read more