Audrina Patridge Pregnant in A Bikini

If you wanted to fuck her first, you're too late. Audrina Patridge has eased effortlessly into the Hollywood standard practiceof insisting people witnessyour gestating fetus and then complaining about all the strange looks you get. "Belly belly belly. The bigger I get people either seem to stare as if I'm an alien or ask to rub it for good luck #pregolife." How weird it must be to be a thirty-year old woman with...

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Chrissy Teigen And Audrina Patridge Pregnant Catting

There's this new thing where famous pregnant chicks are dressing sexy. It's spreading rapdily among the reality TV and social media model set. Chrissy Teigen and Audrina Patridge hold in common that fact that tons of men want to fuck them in the backs of conversion vans and nobody knows what they do for a real paycheck. Are you highlighting your gestating belly to honor Gaia or do you want me to finish there? I'm...read more

Audrina Patridge Was There, Now She's Here

Imagine Audrina's surprise when her handlers told her the Hundred-Acre Woods were just past the curtains only to find herself walking on stage at the KIIS FM Wango Tango show in Los Angeles. Wango Tango is French for your voice makes me cochlea bleed, as every second rate pop music sensation came out for their three song programmed set, followed by a doe-eyed Audrina bleating out 'Piglet? Tigger?'. In a more civilized...

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Audrina Patridge In A Bikini

After Audrina Patridge takes her memory milk in the evenings to help her sleep, she never knows exactly where she'll wake up in the morning. It's a fun game that kids who got held back a couple times in kindergarten get to play throughout their lives. In this case, she came to in Maya Riviera. That's the brand new city just south of Cancun the Mexican tourism industry invented so unlike Acapulco and Ensenada, when you...

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Audrina Patridge Looks Lost (That's Her Secret)

Audrina Patridge is dumb as dirt. I think I can say that without being sued. I don't really know her intellectual quotient, but I'd estimate it as being in the range of foam peanut packing. That doesn't mean she doesn't deserve to be loved. Or to have her chest leered at when they air dropped her into Coachella and programmed her to smile and twirl her hair for three hours before returning to her LZ for pickup. She...read more

Audrina Patridge Confesses to Being Fake

Audrina Patridge has decided to come clean on the fact that The Hills was an entirely staged television show. Kristin Cavallari said the exact same thing a month ago, but Audrina decided against thundering up an original idea in the empty fruitbasket doctors implanted into her cranium as a child so her head would form somewhat similarly like children with brains. I actually had to leave early for another event, we...

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Audrina Patridge In A Bikini In Hawaii

Audrina Patridge looks kind of glum. Like she just discovered the little piggies really were just her toes. I thought we all agreed not to let her see the news or science programs. It's okay, sweetie, go back to thinking about why that giant sucker in the candy store window never gets any smaller. Photo Credit: AKM-GSI [gallery ids="1698222,1698232,1698242,1698252,1698262,1698272,1698282,1698292"]

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Audrina Patridge In A Bikini

Audrina Patridge is dumber than a smokestack, but she looks pretty damn amazing in a bikini. In a just world, women like Audrina whose brains are comprised almost entirely of perfume samples might be sweeping a factory floor to pay the rent. But it's not a just world. So Audrina gets to live her life pretty much suntanning on the beach. We do get to stare at her ass. That's some consolation. Photo Credit: FameFlynet,...

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Audrina Patridge Has Nothing On Her Mind

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be dumb. I don't mean like the 'you're an idiot!' comments I often get. Or even my truly mediocre educational achievement level. I mean, really dumb. Like a puppy. Where people wave shiny objects and you chase them kind of dumb. Here's Audrina Patridge getting her daily organic smoothie. Photo Credit: FameFlynet [gallery id="5920"]

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Audrina Patridge Has One Very Important Thing Going For Her

Audrina Patridge has the mental processing power of bubble wrap, but she's super good looking, which makes that first part irrelevant. Yes, attractive people always succeed and the world is unfair and blah blah blah. Suck it up, ugly people. When people pay attention to you, you'll know it means they really like you as a person, not just a virtual fucktoy. So, there's that. Here's Audrina in STNDRD magazine. They...

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Audrina Patridge Bikinis in a Hula Hoop on a Beach by an Ocean

There are two possible reasons for why Audrina Patridge is doing the hula hoop in a bikini on the beach. One, she is pretty dumb. That's not really so much a reason as it is an explanation for an entire array of inexplicable actions on the part of the former Hills hybrid reality star. Two, she's being paid. I'm betting on two because even though one is certainly true, I don't think she finds her way to a toy store to...

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Audrina Patridge is in a bikini too

Reality TV star Audrina Patridge looked stunning in a orange bikini as she chilled out on the beach in Mexico today. Those are the photo agencies words, not mine. She's an 8, at best, and if she was any kind of a "star" than I wouldn't have called her "Partridge" for two years. (image source = splash) [gallery id="6814"]

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Audrina Patridges mom isnt that great

These bikini pictures of Audrina Patridge came out on Friday, then over the weekend people started to figure out Audrinas mom was in some of the pictures too, and now the internet is going all apeshit with dumb MILF and incest jokes. And yes, her mom looks good in the headline picture. They're practically twins. Oh wait never mind. You always need more than one picture. If the first picture always told the truth I...

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its bikini madness! now with Audrina Patridge!

There's been an amazing amount of bikini pictures this week, and now you can add Audrina Patridge on the beach yesterday in Santa Monica to the list. A few notes about these: - Her husky friend can do a backflip, which I found stunning. - She has a perfect white girl ass (note: those are the best kind). - She actually wore two bikinis for some reason. I'm sorry, make that three. - I'm not the one who cropped this...

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Monday morning headlines

CHRIS BROWN - took a naked picture of himself in a mirror, and it leaked over the weekend. I'm sure this video scan of the picture reaches the bottom of his penis at some point. Let me know how it turns out. (media take out) RANGO - won the weekend box office with $38 million, easily beating the Adjustment Bureau which was second with $20.9M. When Matt Damon heard about this, he took a knife and ran the blade over the...

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