Baby Announcements Getting More Interesting

Candice Swanepoel is having a baby by some dude she met in Paris when underaged. Or overaged for modeling. You wouldn't know except for her posting pictures of her distended belly in topless photos on Instagram. She'll likely be pregnancy shamed. Once the initial wave of... read more

Candice Swanepoel Is With Child

Candice Swanepoel is pregnant. Just look at that fat ass. She got knocked up by the Brazilian model dude who started banging her when she got to Paris to start modeling at seventeen. Swanepoel was smart enough to earn herself a sweet nest egg before making a baby with a... read more

Stella Maxwell Thong Cheeks

CBS ran a Victoria's Secret Swimsuit Special for their audience demo that hasn't purchased a bikini since they tried to get the one just like Ursula Andress wore in Dr. No. The Swimsuit Special is a companion piece to the Lingerie Special each December where the models... read more

Candice Swanepoel And Behati Prinsloo Bikini On The Beach And Shit Around The Web

Some might say that wearing lingerie at the beach doesn't make any sense. Those people can bite me. If Candice Swanepoel and Behati Prinsloo want to frolic in the panties at the beach that's their right as Americans...or wherever the hell they are from. I celebrate their... read more

Candice Swanepoel Ass Smells Like Money

When celebrity models get down to the business of explaining their signature perfume lines, it's like witnessing a third grader in the 1950's Soviet Union blankly recitingthe glory of the State. Candice Swanepoel's new fragrance for Juicy Couture is based in peony, rose,... read more

Candice Swanepoel in A Bikini

There remains one untouchable group of infidels. Supermodels. I don't care how crazy you are with the jihad, you know better than to go after the world's great looking women. You start going Allahu Akbar on the finest of the breed and you will be eviscerated the next day... read more

Lingerie Clad Angels For Victoria's Secret 2015 Fashion Show

There's got to be that one moment of self-consciousness when standing in your underwear on national television and thinking, I could've been a nanny to a well off family in Paraguay or maybe an assistant media professor at Mizzou. Maybe when you're so stupid hot you just... read more

Candice Swanepoel Thong Thing

I'll watch a kid with sausage fingers dominate on some nonsensical war game app just because he's superior to a million other future fatty livers comprising the field. There's just something special about watching a craftsman at the top of their game. This chick is the... read more

Joan Smalls And Candice Swanepoel Topless For Lui Magazine

Chicks will do anything for French photographers. It's just a fact. Have you read Camus? You really must. Now if you please raise your derriere and slam three fingers in your dirt hole while I snap. Oui? Photo Credit: Lui Magazine [gallery id="1855"] read more

Candice Swanepoel In Lingerie

There's something comforting about Victoria's Secret models in their underwear. The world is spinning out of control. We battle over the use of words rather than the worthof ideas. That androgynous seven year old next door has more rights than you even though you'll... read more

Candice Swanepoel in Lingerie

I like when people are good at shit then shut the fuck up. LeBron is amazing at the round ball but can't keep his trap shut. Top earning actresses have to bleed stigmata over the plight of women in film. Rolling Stone has to invent high profile rape stories to get... read more

Candice Swanepoel Ballet Thong Dancer

Most photographers aren't making Uncle Terry money. They just want to express themselves through their art and have a decent wank. I can respect that. Candice, today you're going to be a ballet dancer in a thong. Why? Because it represents how models are trapped in a... read more