Cara Delevingne Seems Unstoppable

Cara Delevingne is one of those chicks racking up career accomplishments with the impossible to overestimate benefit of a massive social media following. If you're producing a historical costume drama, you could do worse than her thirty million Instagram followers pushed to buy tickets.

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MTV Movie Awards Are Somehow Still Going On

The MTV Movie Awards aren't a tribute to the tastes of teenagers who one day will be servicing park vending machines as part of a workfare program so much as a completely staged Viacom publicity event. There were a couple notable faces and Jessica Chastain's tits cinched up to resemble proofing bread, but the bulk of the attendees were not yet dead cast members of MTV's reality show and aspiring actresseswho've had to...

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Cara Delevingne See-Through Top And Shit Around The Web

Everyone's favorite rich tantrum throwing predatory young lesbianCara Delevingne was spotted in Paris with a sheer shirt. It's Fashion Week and I just wanted to remind you how much world class model pussy she's getting. Enjoy staring at her jubblies. (Last Men On Earth) Frenchy hottie Eva Biechy is lovely and topless. (Egotastic All-Stars) Manti T'eo's new girlfriend is a) real and b) sexy as fuck. (TMZ) I never get...read more

Cara Delevingne Hears the Call Of Duty

This chick is everywhere. Look there, she's got a gun. Over there, she's twisted finger fucking your nana. This is just going to piss off hardcores who don't think rich lesbian models are into first person shooter games legitimately. Does it matter that none of her six million Twitter followers play Call of Duty? Not so much. There's a soldier in all of us.Where's my pressed juice? Photo Credit: "Call Of Duty: Black...

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Cara Delevingne Upskirt Bare Ass for Pan

There's yet another re-boot of Peter Pan because nobody's rewarding new anymore in the movie business and neither is the audience. Cara Delevingne worked the premiere red carpet like a pro. Like a girl who the minute you say hello to you will name drop her lesbian lover and let you know they scissor kiss each night in their candle lit bathtub to the pungent scent of vanilla and British Island pussy. Now you know you...

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Cara Delevingne Takes Her Fake Lesbianism Seriously

Vogue magazine is under fire. Not for making women feel fat and undesirableand blaming it on far-fetched male standards of female beauty even though no men work for Vogue. But because they wrote an article about Cara Delevingne where they suggested her scissor kissing escapades might just be a phase or a way to get back at her mother who was a heroinaddict throughout Cara's childhood. Both of which seem entirely...

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Cara Delevingne Silent Fluidity

According to female bloggers who still haven't found their purpose, Cara Delevingne is one of the founding members of the young celebrities gender fluidity club. Nobody seems to understand that the inanely invented term gender fluidity describes somebody who feels intermittently like a man or a woman depending on whether or not their NFL team is doing well. Not rich girl models like Cara Delevingne who prefer to fuck...read more

Cara Delevingne Consoles

Prodigious pussy hound Cara Delevingne inserts herself into the arms of rebounding celebrity chicks lighting style quick. She's got some hidden network of pneumatic tubes built under the earth's mantle that can deliver her talented fingers anywhere in the world in eleven seconds. Elon Musk is still thirty years from this same technology. Pop. Out come the eyebrows just in time to console Miley Cyrus who was getting...

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Cara Delevingne Just Eye Fucked Your Woman

This voracious lesbian vampire is using commercial media to lure in her winding waiting line of snatches. She's goddamn unstoppable. Guys love to say they'd be a lesbian if they were a chick because it sounds incredibly less gay on the back end of an opening of 'if I were a woman'. As tough as you have it as a man finding women, imagine the playing field when only some relatively small percentage of chicks will even...

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Cara Delevingne Squeezes Between Suki and Georgia

This Delevingne chick is moving fast. We concede any more women to this carpet munching Nosferatu and there will be none left to dance around the maypole. Bradley Cooper, this is your barely legal girlfriend. Mick Jagger, inexplicably this is your daughter. Tainted for eternity by the love whose name we dare not speak. Delevingne's stevedored more vagina grease this past week than most men garner in a lifetime. Decent...

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Cara Delevingne Working Kendall and Kylie

This savvy vagina hunter is barely lifting a finger these days. Her snatch is aerosolizing scents programmed to intoxicate illiterate young women within a thirty click radius. Her kill list reads like the VIP rolls inside the Hollywood Red Tent. It must be some kind of bet she has going. Nobody loves high maintenance pussy this much. Photo Credit: Solve Sundsbo for Love Magazine [gallery id="2415"]

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Kim Kardashian Not Done

Kim Kardashian is showing her bare tits and ass in another magazine and McDonald's still carries the quarter pounder.The photos were leaked on Twitter by someone instructed to do so as a member of Kim's entourage paid in followers. The issue of Love magazine isguest edited by Cara Delevingne which means she's able to point and answer questions by blinking. Shealso interviews Kim if you want toreadit while doing your...

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Cara Delevingne Bags a Willis

Cara Delevingne is rapid tonguing her way through disaffected young female Hollywood. I can't remember which Willis girl Rumer is. The one who looks like Bruce, drinks like a fish, and hasn't worked in a decade. Fuck, I can't narrow it down. Rumer left a bar in West Hollywood holding hands with this unquenchable lesbian vampire. Holding hands in WeHo doesn't mean the two of them are mere moments away from an after...read more

If the Kardashians Tits Go Somewhere Without a Selfie, Did It Really Happen?

The porn star, the large one, the model, and her British lesbian girlfriend all went to see Sam Smith in concert. God invented Sam Smith so that he could finally take Spandau Ballet into heaven. It's a big to do when three or more Kardashians are in the same place at the same time. I believe the appropriate term for a group of Kardashians is a whoreling. After the show, Sam Smith allowed the girls to use him as a prop...

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Lia Marie Johnson Turns Eighteen And Shit Around The Web

Turning eighteen means many things to many different people. When you're a social media creation, it means it's time to go offline and start doing shoots that show off your tits. Lia Marie Johnson shows off her youthful boobage for your viewing pleasure. (Egotastic) Shahs of Sunset slut Golnesa "GG" Gharachedaghi has some giant fake titties. (TMZ) Theo Huxtable comes to Bill Cosby's defense because of the pudding on...

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